I got a brief, playable demo this past weekend, and it is fantastic. The gameplay has not changed much, but there was not really a reason to make changes, as the gameplay was pretty much flawless in the original. This is really the last major game on this generation of systems (that I know of) and should not be missed.
More (much more?) about this past weekend soon.
I never thought that I'd ever threaten my girlfriend's mother with a nice "smash" on the chestal region--even in jest while talking trash during a game--but here we are.
Good times...
Guh.
The last two weeks have been kinda ass, to put it politely. As if the work wasn't bad enough, now I can't checks my home email or reads any blogs, because it's all been blocked! How dare they create an environment where I'll get more work done. But, the craziness--as far as the workload goes, anyway--ends tomorrow. The return of a co-worker means he gets his work back, and hopefully signals the loss of one seriously inept temp. Plus, I'm off to PA early in the day, not coming back until Sunday. Just in time.
But, not to leave you empty-handed, regardez: go download something a leaked track from the (still) upcoming GNR album, Chinese Democracy. Go on, do it. Don't be a pussy.
Yes! Home before 9. That's a start.
Model UN is in the house, so the hotel is crawling with high school kids. Damn them. Laying about like they own the place. I shakes my fist at you! And by fist I mean...
It's been an exhausting week, and I think the only possible cure is metal. Priestess, Converge, and the mighty Mastodon at the 9:30 this Saturday. Carl, I may need to borrow your Pig Destroyer t-shirt.
You know what sucks about working until nine? Getting home late and then eating dinner and then being up at 1:30 in the morning digesting, wondering why I'm not allowed to punish the wicked with impunity. Savages.
Word of advice to anyone who is going to purchase a computer over the internets. PAY ATTENTION TO THE DIMENSIONS. I got this tower and it's a feckin' beast. Feels like overkill, but I likes it.
Anyway...I'm going to see if I can get in the mood to sleep. In the meantime, kitten therapy.
Well, let's see, I blitzed through a near 10 hour day without a break--and that's not an exaggeration--having to deal with a temp who is too cautious to do anything on her own, setting our work back significantly. Yet, she's too timid to even be snarky with. She's like Hooks from the Police Academy movies. Eventually, things came to a head and I had to take over and get us caught up to a manageable point. More importantly, I got caught up enough so that I could finish my own work.
This is why I'm not team-oriented. I don't have the patience to work with a bunch of Grossmans every day. If not for the people who don't suck (invariably, the people upon whom I rely the least in terms of my own work), that place would be intolerable.
And my boss is off this week! I'm supposed to be enjoying myself! Dammit.
In more positive news, had an enjoyable weekend, including dinner with The Drizzle and Los O's on Friday evening, and drinks with The Drizzle and JP on Saturday. Sunday was lazy. So, so lazy.
Lastly, some consumer advice: you so called rock fans are raging posers if you don't have this already. I've got the original version of Kingdom Come and it's boss.* Get some.
*That's for CLJO. I'm bringing it back!
See Ozzfest 2007 for free. Wow. Between this and Van Halen, big name tours are already looking good for this summer. I wonder how long the free tour will last, and if it will catch on.
The last two weeks have been pretty swell, all told. (Little illnesses aside.) Two weeks ago, Erica came into town for a few days, which is always fun. We wound up bowling with co-workers on Friday night. I didn’t bowl this time, after I humiliated myself the last time. Erica did, and she repped the family quite well. MC and JS (my favoritest co-worker and her lady) bowled out of their minds, so my vicarious bowling needs were well met. Plus, another co-worker did a split after one of her bowling taunts. Easy highlight of the night.
The rest of that weekend was spent shopping, sleeping (boy, lots of sleep), keeping warm, and talking trash over games of Mario Party. I took that Monday off so I could spend more time with her before she had to catch the late afternoon train back home. With any luck, I won’t have to be writing phrases like “train back home” for much longer. Not that anything is imminent; just saying.
This past weekend was another road trip with the Drizzle to check out some land in Northern Alabama (aka Pennsylvania). This time, the land was in Gettysburg, and was actually a nice piece of property, even if you can’t set up a canoe business. After a thorough examination of the land—well, as thorough as you can be without leaving the car—we hit the Gettysburg Appalachian Brewing Company for a beer and a couple of hours of shooting pool and chit-chat. For the record, I lost the best of five series, 3-2, because the Drizzle is much more adept at the “let the other guy scratch on the eight ball” strategy than I. We went from there to the Gettysburg G-Man, after discovering that Hoss’s was too crowded for dinner. There we ate and drank a bit more, while working the phones trying to get local folks to join us. Sadly, there were no takers. Lazy savages. Unfortunately, our evening was cut short (due to the aforementioned illness) and we made our way back to D.C. after settling up here.
Sunday, of course, was the Super Bowl.
As gleeful as I was with the outcome, it has been tempered somewhat by something approximating pity for the Bears. Sure seemed like 52 men showed up to play that game. Unfortunately, the very key 53rd man turned into the pumpkin most people knew he was. I think Neil O’Donnell owes Turnoversaurus Rex a nice dinner, since he’s no longer the biggest goat in Super Bowl history. (You know, Troy Smith would look pretty good in a Bears uniform.)
But hey, at least they got there. There are thirty other teams who cannot say that. And many of them (including my beloved Dolphins) haven’t even sniffed the playoffs for years now. So the Bears got that going for them, which is nice.
And now, a nation turns its eyes to college basketball and the coming March Madness. Feel it! The Drizzle and I will be making the trip for the opening round games again. This year’s destination: New Orleans!
So, DNC is in the hizzy. Already, one candidate has lost a potential vote. (I won’t say her name, though. Ha!) Why? Because her @#$%# supporters don’t seem to understand the term “excuse me.” As in, “Excuse me, asshat. I’m trying to get to my office, and you guys do not seem to understand that clotting the hallway is not only a terrible breach of etiquette, but also a fire hazard. I don’t care who is in that room, it gives you no right to be a complete imbecile. Now, please, excuse me, before I etch my grievance into your #@$%@# forehead.”
Of course, I say that all with a smile. Hospitality, don’tcha know.
(On a side note, I am tempted to test another candidate's sense of humor by mentioning how clean and articulate he is, should I be lucky enough to meet him, as one of my co-workers already has.)
Happy New Year.
2007. More books, more music, more movies, more games, more laughs, more nonsense, more steps, more booze, more reflection, more changes than you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain.
New computer to feature more power, more capacity, more speed, more applications, more opportunities, more access.
More more more more more more.
It's enough to make a body batshit insane with anticipation and possibility, to overload to the point of complete synaptic failure.
Or, to induce a cold and make you want to crawl under a blanket and sleep until the Zombie Apocalypse.
(I have the latter.)
There's so so so much to do do do. I thought the point of trying to outline it all was to make things simpler. But all it does is reveal the actual number of opportunities. Complication through simplification, or some such nonsense. It sounds good now, but that's the meds talking.
More sports, more trips, more illogical hate (I'm looking at you, Rex), more bluster, more leering, more dialogue/monologue, more perversity.
I have a compulsion to buy anything that I think might rub my brain stem in the right way. It's why I have more music, books, and games then I have time. I'd like to take a vacation to just make a substantial dent into it. But with "The Machine" finally on the way (yay!), any free time will be tied into that.
I can look at it this way: once I reach my next goal, I should have time to breatherelaxbeleisurely.
More hearing, more seeing, more living.
More love.
More acceptance, more forgiveness.
More ideas. More motivation. More satisfaction guaranteed.
Avant Garde Ring Tones
Now why didn't I think of that? Fantastic.
(Happy New Year, kids. More later.)
On Football: An Early Prediction
While the Dolphins have not yet been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, the realist in me has conceded yet another year of playoff-less football for the men in aqua and orange. Therefore, I am actively pulling for what would probably be the most fun to watch Super Bowl: the San Diego Chargers vs. the New Orleans Saints. I'm convinced that the kind of football that hooks you as a kid will always influence what you consider "good" vs. "bad" football, even if those definitions don't usually fit with the consensus opinion. Naturally, as a Dolphins fan hooked by a prolific, Dan Marino-led offense, shootouts will always entertain me. Thus: Chargers/Saints. Of course, I've come to appreciate defense as well, which is why the Colts are not part of this equation.
Anyway, the storylines once again would write themselves. A Saints appearance would be the happy ending (not in any sort of realistic sense, mind you, just in the "storytelling" sense) for New Orleans, while their quarterback would be facing the team that cut him after he put up the best (before this season) stats of his career. Meanwhile, Marty "We Are All" Schottenheimer would finally get a chance to get that Super Bowl ring that would cement his status as one of the games all time best. Ladainian Tomlinson would get a chance to cap off the best rushing performance I've seen in my lifetime and possibly one of the best ever. And on the other sideline would be Reggie Bush, on a tremendous tear of late, looking to break out on the biggest stage on which he's ever performed. (That sound you hear is Deuce McAllister storming off in disgust.) Throw in some ink on Marques Colston going from almost-Mr. Irrelevant to possible Super Bowl MVP candidate and the writers can take the entire two weeks off before the Super Bowl.
Final prediction: the Saints win a high-scoring back and forth game, 38-35.
When I Can, I Will
Substance. It's something that this space has been lacking. It's not for a dearth of things to talk about; nor is it (entirely) due to a lack of time. The largest factor at play here is focus. I've been a bit scatterbrained as a result of sinister cocktail made from introspection, future-thinking, life changes, workload, music addiction, and video game-induced torpor (thankyouverymuch Guitar Hero 2). Oh, and chronic onanism. Always with the onanism.
As stated previously (I think), my mother and youngest sister moved down to North Carolina. Well, by the end of next week, my other sister and her family (husband and kids) will be down there as well. So the only family left in the area will be Big Lou. And while that's still great, I will certainly miss being able to see my family, especially the children, whenever I want.
Quoi d'autre...Erica and her mother came down to visit at the end of October. That was nice. Her mother really is so incredibly sweet and caring. She sends down food for me everytime Erica comes to visit, and has even started calling me! Hell, my own mother doesn't even do that. (I keed!)
Speaking of Erica, she and I just celebrated one year together. It's been a long time since I've been able to say that. Anyway...good times. And, to tie it all together, I'll be spending Thanksgiving with her and her family. This will mark the very first time this holiday has been spent with people outside of my family.
Movies: Saw Borat (with Erica and some friends) and For Your Consideration (with Los O's). Both were funny and worth your money, not that I really need to make a case for either. I think I've seen, um, three movies now this year. Four? Maybe even five. Jaysus!
Music: Too much to list, and mostly metal (including purchasing a handful of landmarks of the genre that were missing from my collection), so none of yous will probably care, anyway. I still can't speak highly enough of that Melvins album.
Books: About to start--honest!--Fermat's Enigma. Because every now and then, the math nerd in me creeps out.
Games: Guitar Hero 2 Guitar Hero 2 Guitar Hero 2 Guitar Hero 2 Guitar Hero 2. (Oh, and some Lego Star Wars 2 and a little bit of Mercenaries.)
And that's been it, more or less. I'm sure my sleepy brain is forgetting something, but I don't know what it is. So this will have to do.
Happy Thanksgiving to the lot of ya. Hope to see you all soon. Be safe.
When In Doubt, Turn To Sports
Feh.
I'm not sure what's worse: the quality of the teams for which I am eternally cheering, or the fact that I can't stop myself. This has not been a good fall for sports. Sure, the A's made the playoffs again, and even got out of the first round. But then they got swept like they were the Kansas City Royals (next year's champs, by the by) and all the good feelings are gone. I can't even bring myself to root for/against/for/idon'tknowanymore Tony LaRussa.
In college football, I've got the best and worst of times. Ohio State is still #1 in the country, but the Miami Hurricanes are looking more thugged out and embarassing than ever. It was bad enough the team wasn't very good to start, now they've got yet another black eye on the reputation, such as it was. I mean, save that shit for when you turn pro, kids! At least that way, you can afford good lawyers. Just ask Ray Lewis.
On the pro side...oy. I can't even bring myself to talk about the pathetic situation that is year two of the Saban-era Dolphins. And yet--AND YET--there's a too-vocal-for-it's-own-good part of me that is thinking they can run the table after the bye week. (Shut up. Just shut up! Yes, I looked at the schedule.) Better yet, I'm picturing it with them totally adopting a gunslinger mentality with Cleo Lemon at quarterback, chucking it downfield to Chambers, Vick, and Welker. At least my insane imaginings are comical and not based in any sort of reality.
The only way I can imagine enjoying sports this fall, beyond the Buckeyes pounding the Wolverines, is if the Atlanta Hawks get off to a hot start. (SHUT UP!) I know. It's like playing Russian roulette with a loaded gun. I'm just asking for it. Well, I don't give a good god damn. Marvin and Shelden Williams to glory!
I. Suck.
On the plus side, with nothing interesting going on in sports (Cram your hockey! Cram it!), I have been able to use my what little down time I have from work to slog through the media bottleneck in my apartment. Music, books, games and movies have been go. Which reminds me: go pick up the new Melvins disc. Now. Seriously. It's called A Senile Animal and is worth the money. Don't you like to rock? Don'tcha?! Freedom hater.
Gridiron Funny
for The Drizzle
Wait for a sign from Gozer the Traveller; he will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii, the Traveller came as a large and moving Torb. Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex Supplicants, they chose a new form for him -- that of a Giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you!
Leyland!
Yankees lose. Sports schadenfreude through the roof. It's nearly as satisfying as seeing Duke lose.
I'm taking Oakland in 6. Go A's! Please Hurt, Hammer 'Em! (That bit was completely stolen from Jeff Chang's blog.)
The King Should Stick To Football
Finally, Sneak King takes the stealth action genre and puts it to a friendlier use than usual. Instead of tiptoeing behind enemy guards to silently snap their necks, players will sneak up on hungry people to surprise them with offerings of Burger King food. Gamers will have to sneak up on people in a logging yard, a construction site, downtown, and the suburbs, and they will be graded on their performance "based on how elaborate the delivery is executed."
Are You Ready To Rock?
The list of confirmed songs for Guitar Hero 2 has expanded. I suppose the inclusion of "Free Bird" was inevitable. The Lamb of God track is a nice surprise.
With this, Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy, God of War 2*, Yakuza (out tomorrow), and Final Fantasy XII out this fall (as well as releases of game adaptations of Reservoir Dogs and Scarface), the probable release of two more next-gen consoles (Nintendo's Wii and Sony's PS3), and the latest controversial title from the Rockstar Games (Bully), it should be an interesting fall for game nerds all over the country.
*Turns out GoW2 isn't due out until Q1 2007. Nuts.
UCW! UCW!
There's so much gold here. "Passion piledrivers." (Also a mixed drink: 1/3 passion fruit juice, 1/3 prune juice, 1/3 vodka.) Guys being dragged to hell. It also raises some questions. For instance, would a "Holy shit!" chant be acceptable after a major spot? If they have were to have a death match, like a Taipei Death Match or an Anus Explosion Death Match, could there really be a loser? And really, even if they have extreme matches, don't they kind of pale in comparison to some biblical events? How impressive is a powerbomb through a light tube log cabin when compared to the raising Lazarus from the dead? Sure, "Sick" Nick Mondo can take a weed whacker to the gut, but let's see him rain fire and brimstone down on a couple of cities.
Would You Like To Play A Game?
Possible '08 Presidential hopeful Mark Warner gets his game on. Rumors that he will also make an appearance in World of Warcraft as a gnome mage named "Warnus" are completely unsubstantiated. (via Game Politics)
I Wish I Had Found Out About This Earlier
I swear, if I were a woman, this would be my wedding gown. (Found here.)
'Ello guv'ner! Lube job while you wait?
The story doesn't say if wrestling is involved at any point. I like the logo and the obvious attempts at making teh sexy. I've seen this sort of thing before, though. Well, it wasn't a quick lube service, but there were women and funnels involved.
Mentok!
aka, more from the Filipino judiciary.
"Floro was also understood to have claimed supernatural abilities, the ability to read the future and held 'healing sessions' in his chambers."
I've tried the "healing sessions" trick. It's a Filipino mainstay.
TOUR RIDER!
(subject is best imagined being bellowed by Henry Rollins)
This summer's musical darlings, Gnarls Barkley (you might have heard their hit single, "Hey Ya! 2006"), have one helluva tour rider. What's more hilarious: requesting Magnum condoms or white athletic socks?
Mental Clearinghouse
I am really not very good at this blogging thing. Once I turned the corner on trying to make this space as devoid of personal bric-a-brac as possible, it has been hard to go back and write about my life, even if it is relatively drama-free. Things happen, but I don't reflect upon them enough (or they are not of enough consequence) to write anything particularly insightful about the events. The passage of time only makes it more difficult, as short-term memory seems to be permanently unreliable and my powers of recall are eroded by lack of sleep and worldly distractions.
Plus, I am powerfully lazy.
In spite of that, I still feel compelled to keep up with things here, even if I have to use bullet-points. So, without further rambling, here are some things that are happening/have happened.
-My nephew will be playing football this fall. His position has not been decided yet, but my guess is defensive back. After all, my mother says he is a bit hesitant to tackle the other kids. Obviously, he is the next Deion Sanders. (I am a bit surprised he does not like to belt kids. He is a complete rough-houser any other time.)
-My niece is going to be a cheerleader for his team. It's nice to see siblings share activities like that.
-Due to my helping a loved one with some serious scrilla, I had to put my workstation purchase on hold for a few months. I have now been re-payed, so let the comparison shopping begin anew. Who doesn't like a good Xeon vs. Opteron debate? With any luck, I will be a bit of a recluse this fall. Seriously, that will be a good thing.
-Have had some quality adventuring with The Drizzle lately. As a result, Chambersburg is now the preferred destination for Hoss's road trips. Delicious!
-Went to two Nats games last week. One with Jamy and one with my father and cousin. My cousin is visiting from England, and was completely unfamiliar with the rules of baseball. My father and I wound up giving him a crash course in the first few innings. By the end, he was on his feet and cheering with the rest of the crowd. He is officially a Nats fan. It was fun to see someone who has not been completely jaded by the sport get caught up in it. His enthusiasm was refreshing. Too bad he's aligning himself with a team that is totally butt. He might as well be a Mariners fan.
-I look good in a suit. Seriously. I found this out when I purchased "My Very First Suit" to attend the wedding of one of Erica's cousins. Almost makes me wish I had bought suits before. Almost.
That's really about it. The events about which I previously said I'd write are all too far in the past (a whole month!) for me to remember. Therefore, a swift synopsis: 4th of July was both fun and infuriating; the going away party for a co-worker was the drunkest evening I've ever had at work (sad that there are other nights in contention); and the World Cup final sucked, but I had a good buffet breakfast to offset my disappointment with the match. Oh, and my first trip to New York City was awesome, and I will certainly be going again, hopefully sooner than later.
Wait For It...Wait For It
Work has been, um, ass. Just the hours, not the work. It has not approached the enraging atmosphere of last fall, though the circumstances are nearly identical. It's just...worky. The kind of busy-ness that makes my pudding brain come up with words like "worky."
So, blogging is on the backburner for a while, even though I still have to recap the quickly-fading-from-my-pudding-brain-memory 4th of July, hot World Cup and buffet action with CO and The Drizzle, a pretty hard drunkening at work (tequila!), and my trip to NYC.
In the meantime, reason #217 for me to move to Tokyo: Sanrio Puroland!
Oh Dear
All Your Snakes Are Belong To Us
Already, the genius of Snakes On A (Motherfuckin') Plane bears fruit.
Mmmm...Delicious Efficiency
Or it laziness? Aren't we even industrious enough in our search for quality entries into our masturbatory rolodexes?
Religious Humor?
Well, not exactly. But, one of my co-workers and I have been amusing ourselves by making comparisons/similes that end with "a nun's box."
For example:
"This new car is as roomy as a nun's box."
"Ben Wallace's afro is as nappy as a nun's box."
"Your toddler bites harder than a nun's box."
And etc. Yeah, we're children. No, it's not sophisticated. No, it's not always funny. But since when have I ever been known any of that high-minded stuff? Besides, my lunch and the temperature in this office has me stuffed and hotter than a nun's box. I gotta keep myself awake somehow.
Yeah, but are they any good in a boxing ring?
Killer Kangaroos!
***
In other news, I'll be going to NYC on Friday for work. This is, believe it or not, my first visit. I'm going to have to plan some things to do, besides burning Williamsburg to the ground. (That was for you, CLJO.)
Dude, Remember When You Got Your First 2600?
I've come across a couple of sites lately that have made it into my rotation of regular reads: Water Cooler Games and Game Politics. I read these not just because I'm a giant nerd (true), but also as a means to keeping up with the issues in an industry (for those who don't already know) into which I'm still hoping to gain access, sooner than later, with any luck. Fortunately, because our government loves to legislate just about anything, these sites have been keeping quite busy covering the outbreak of "violent video games" bills in our country. With the release of the Columbine diaries, and the prominent mention of Doom and Duke Nuke 'Em (both in the diaries and the articles reporting on them), I'm sure some of these same lawmakers will be even more vocal now.
It's fascinating to me to think how far we've come from the days of George Plimpton pimping for Intellivision to games being used as campaign tools or game simulations of trying to survive as a farmer in the third world. ("A simulation to make you think.")
***
More later on this past 4th of July weekend, which featured Erica coming down for the festivities. Fun! Chaos!
I Guess It Really Ain't Easy
Pimpin', that is.
Currently, the IRS has to prove a prostitute's or pimp's income to pursue a tax law violation. But under Grassley's proposal, a pimp could get up to 10 years in prison for each prostitute for whom the pimp hasn't filed a W-2, which means a pimp caught with 10 unregistered prostitutes faces a century in prison.
All That Was Missing Was The Bay City Rollers
The place to be this past Saturday, in case you didn't know, was at Casa de Los Os. It had all the makings of a successful party (good people, good music, a variety of alcohols including lime rickeys) and some not so much (that fat guy shotgunning whipped cream, then spitting it all over your couch when he does a meager little cough/choke thing). Fortunately, the hosts were forgiving and I was allowed to stay and be part of the post-party run to IHOP. Yes, chicken-fried steak IS exactly what I was looking for.
It was a most excellent time, as it always is when Los Os, The Drizzle, and Jamy is involved. The rest of my weekend was rather uninspiring, consisting of household upkeep, gaming, and getting addicted to a new chinese food dish. ("Salt Pepper Shrimp"!)
And now I'm back to work, where even more people are leaving (not in my department, thank god). This place is starting to feel like a sinking ship. I wonder if that's why there's been such a problem with mice recently.
I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here Today
(Not true, but that captures the exasperation.)
1. A co-worker quit on the spot today. But not before she got pissy at me due to what her paranoid mind thought was laughter at her. (In truth, it had nothing to do with her.) She was, however, nice on her way out the door.
2. The office was overrun with mosquitoes because some nimrod in our engineering department decided to leave a bucket in the ceiling to collect water. The bucket--and a chunk of the ceiling--eventually crashed to the floor.
3. I had a toner mishap, leading to a good section of my light-colored shirt turning black. But I MacGuyvered that shit out of existence. I'm a stain-removing ninja!
4. A co-worker brought me shit at the end of the day, causing me to be at work another hour. I let her know that I won't put up with that nonsense, though. She was quite defensive and tried to pass the buck. Nice.
On the plus side, I was able to get two hard shrieks of laughter from one of my co-workers today, the last one when I referred to her as my "Sapphic Overlord."
Shut up! It made me laugh: Unf!
A new series coming to Adult Swim combining two of my loves: heavy metal and cartoons. It's called Death Clock Metalocalypse (or Dethklok or just Metalocalypse) and comes from the minds of Brendon Small (Home Movies) and Tommy Blacha (TV Funhouse, Late Night with Conan O'Brien).
I'll give it a shot.
What happens when you're the laziest blogger in the world? Not much, because that laziness usually extends itself into other aspects of my life. But for the readers, the daily nothing of which posts on this blog consist, it's even worse. How on earth will those proud few ever get updates on my hilarious exploits, such as "What I ate for dinner last night?" and "What do I really think about the state of my life AT THIS VERY MOMENT?" It's enough to kill you a little, on the inside.
So, to help you'ns out, I'm going to put up something resembling a recollection of the week I took off before Memorial Day. It was heap good time, paleface.
Saturday--May 20th, for those without a calendar, or who did not read the above paragraph that set the time frame--I took the always reliable Amtrak up to Pennsylvania to see Erica. It was a pretty ho-hum trip, with the exception of the cruel taunts from The Drizzle, who was enjoying Mai Tais at the Tiki Bar. I got in around 10pm, which was a "mere" thirty minutes late. The timing turned out to be perfect, though, as Erica and her mother were running late. We got a quick bite to eat and then it was time to get to the house and call it an evening.
Well...that didn't take long. Already, I'm trying to rack my brain with the exact sequence of events for the next few days of my stay. It's impossible. My brain is fooked. Right...to the highlights:
Made the rounds to meet the rest of Erica's family. All of that went very well, even better than I expected. I'm always nervous before meeting the friends and family of significant others, which I suppose is a natural reaction. I'd still rather not have to deal with it, but, since I only trust alcohol to take the edge off, there was not going to be any way to calm myself. Of course, it turned out that social lubrication would have been unnecessary, anyway. As far as I can tell, they like me bunches. I rock.
Played lots of cards, with poker being the usual suspect. Fortunately (for me), we only played for money once. Otherwise, I would have been hurting.
Took Erica and her mother out for an awesome, belated birthday dinner at Alfano's at The Quail. Unlikely as it may be, if you are ever in Washington, Pennsylvania, I highly recommend this place.
Unfortunately, I was not able to make it back to Eide's for another music binge. Nor did I get to check out any of the stores that I missed during my previous visit. Oh well. This will give me something to shoot for the next time I'm up there.
Henry Rollins loves Ann Coulter.
In other news, who knew that the offspring of Sandy Duncan and William H. Macy would be so bosom-y? Color me impressed.
Starting The Week Off
I just heard that a co-worker of mine was confused by A Prairie Home Companion because she thought it was going to be a romantic comedy. She also had this nugget o' funny: "If you like country music, you'll probably like this movie."
I swear, it's truly like people are throwing ducks at balloons and nothing is what it seems.
(And yes, there's actually a reasonable explanation--beyond wild stupidity--for the confusion, but it's funnier without it.)
Finally, some children's programming I can get into. I mean, monkeys, monsters, and Biz Markie. Where's the downside?
#3
Allow me to introduce you to my nephew, John Ellis:
(Not shown: the horns and tail. Thank you, Photoshop.)*
Seven pounds, fourteen ounces.
Newborns really aren't the cutest things, are they? That's okay, his brother and sister looked about the same, and now they're beyond adorable. Genetics!
*Obligatory "baby born on 6/6/6" joke.
National Day of Slayer: June 6, 2006 (6/6/6): I do hope you all will set aside some time to recognize. Might I suggest "Hell Awaits"? Or if you prefer, you can pick a track from this handy list, compiled by your friends at the All Music Guide.
Alex Toth has passed away. Comics bloggers all over the world try to resist "Space Ghost" jokes.
In all honesty, I don't know enough about the man to give him much of a tribute, but considering how much I've enjoyed his cartoon work over the years, I felt something should be said.
(Coming soon: a wrap-up of this past week's vacation. Teaser quote, directed at the cab driver that took us to Union Station this afternoon: "You dick-faced bitch." Ha!)
Greetings from Monongahela...
Just a brief howdy as I patiently wait for the little woman to finish packing for our return trip to D.C. tomorrow.
Vacation has been excellent so far, with the exception of having a weird and vivid dream Sunday night about going into work and then realizing when I got there that I was supposed to be starting my vacation. What's that about? Otherwise, it's been a heady mix of commerce, foodstuffs, and meeting the important people in the family. Fortunately, that last part has gone very well and I wasn't nervous one bit. Well, maybe I was a little, but not to the point where I was being completely socially inept or anything. Except for when I smacked her cousin on the ass. What was I thinking? Fortunately, he has a pretty good sense of humor.
Wait...that never happened. I'm okay then.
That's really been about it. Hope all is well with everyone.
Excelsior!
The Management
Guitar Hero II First Tracks Revealed
Game Nerds The World Over Throw The Goat
Sweet! For those PS2 owners that do not have the first game yet, I must ask: what the fuck is wrong with you? Do you have something against fun? You probably hate freedom, too.
If You Kick Me Off The Bus...
I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
This is the most compelling reason yet to be a school bus driver.
More Magic From YouTube
The Osmonds - Crazy Horses. (Alternate version with better fidelity, but less dancing.)
Political Discourse, Vega$-Style!
Prompted by The Drizzle's mention of Tip O'Neill in the comments below, I found this:
That is a picture of Tip O'Neill with former Texas rep Jake Pickle, obviously front and center at a Manowar concert. By the way, click the link for Big Jake (or, if you prefer, Big Pickle) to see him giving Coretta Scott King the "squeaky pickle", which is a tremendous euphemism waiting to happen.
Because Lazy Blogging Is Better Than No Blogging
(Alternate title for this post: "My life is like understanding Carmen, 'cuz I gets Bizet." Groan on your own time, people!)
Home internet was out for about a week. It was restored to its full-glory this morning, about three hours after shuffling Erica (fka as "EF") on the road back home. She was able to make it down for the third of three straight weekends of family birthdays, this time for my nephew, who turns 7 on Wednesday. Here is my nephew at Easter:
(Image resizing really distorts his suit, which is a shame, because it's such a lil pimp outfit. Curse my poor/lazy photography skills!)
The kids rode with Erica and me at one point, and we totally had a "family" moment when we both yelled to the back for them to stop tormenting each other. (Though, we both busted a gut when my four year-old niece got gangsta on her brother and said, "I'm 'bout to get on ya.") Isn't she adorable?
Anyway, it was a fun time with the whole family. Erica is a natural fit with my clan, which is a good sign. Despite a pre-adulthood history of dysfunction, it is very important that my significant other and my family get along well.
Going back a little further: the previous weekend was for my mother's birthday, and the weekend before that was my youngest sister. Those that have known me for a while know that I drop out of sight during the month of April. May is better for socializing, even though there are now more birthdays: my friend AK, Big Lou (aka my dad), Erica, Erica's mom, Los O's (both of them!) and probably some others that I'm sure I'm forgetting (I do this). And there's Mother's Day! You guys are killing me. Seriously, space your damn fake holidays.
I kid, of course, because I love.
Anyway, I'm back and ready for some social re-integration. I think I'm going to make one of my rare forays into a movie theater this, um, Thursday (too lazy to confirm at the moment) to see this. Then, I'm going to check out the Isis/Dalek/Zombi show at the Black Cat this coming Sunday. I've already pitched this to a couple of people, but now I'm putting it out there for all. This is just the start. I'd like to get out to a baseball game (Cannons or some other minor league squad, preferably), hit a water-side drinking hole or two, and maybe make a day trip. Warm weather couldn't come at a better time. Not that I don't love spending time with my family, but I'd like to add a little more spontaneity/alcohol into my life.
Not to blame the victim or anything, but...
Who falls for this? I mean, look at that guy's picture! I wouldn't take a free map from that guy, even if I was lost, let alone invite him into my home to play a little grabass.
(Alternate caption: "I was wondering what Ed Meese was up to...")
Viva Craigslist!
I'm sure this is in someone's Del.icio.us list, but I don't have the desire to go back and look. Deal with my redundancy!
"Let me fullfill (sic) all your fantasys (sic) . . . Make this Good Friday better with me," read an ad that vowed to improve the day for $150.It's only better if they wear Catholic school uniforms.
Yes, I Know
Okay, I'm totally late with this one, but it has to be said. The oversized sunglasses? The Elton John specials? Yeah, those have to go. I'm sorry, but there are only two people in the history of mankind that have been able to pull off glasses that size successfully, and they were both staples of The Match Game. So, unless you can prove to me that you have, in fact, blown Gene Rayburn at some point in your life, you should lose this ridiculous accessory ASAP. Honestly, this is almost as repulsive as flipped up collars. CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST BE THE LEAST BIT CREATIVE FOR A CHANGE?!
Ahem.
(This is what happens when I am bombarded with a high volume of social retardation in a small period of time. On my walk to work this morning, I passed no less than seven or eight of these people. And yet, if I set them on fire where they stand, I'd be the one to go the jail. Where is the justice?)
I'd take this chance to make a pre-emptive apology, in the off chance I offended somebody I knew, but you know, fuck it. It's that f'n ridiculous.
Get A Life
You may have noticed that not much information as it concerns my actual life has been on this blog recently. I am sad to report, that's not going to change here. And the next few weekends will not be particularly blogworthy, as it will involve me going out of town for family birthdays. The "life stuff" will be back soon.
And while we're on the subject of life, perhaps you know someone who could use a Life Gem.
The LifeGem(R) is a certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life.I have no punchline.
Sports!
The NFL released the 2006-2007 schedule this afternoon. The Dolphins will be kicking off the season against the current champions, the Pittsburgh Steelers. (Which, aside from being the team of choice for The Drizzle, also happens to be EF's favorite team. Let the crazy betting begin!) This, along with their Thanksgiving day game, is certainly a sign that the league, like many armchair prognosticators (and sad, success-starved Dolfans like myself), thinks highly of the Dolphins potential this year. I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic given the team’s recent history, even though the Dolphins have made all the right moves this offseason and appear primed to reclaim the division crown from the Duke Blue Devils New England Patriots. It should be one of the most fun seasons their offense has had since the Marino era, especially if Daunte Culpepper recovers completely from his knee injury. Between Culpepper, Ronnie Brown, Chris Chambers, Randy McMichael and an already improved O-Line, the defense should not have to be on the field for most of the game. You can't overstate the value of a good, rested defense when it comes to the playoffs. (And if Ricky Williams is cleared of all charges, they become that much better.)
Meanwhile, in baseball, the A's are early favorites for the AL West title (sorry, Jamy), and many people who get paid to make these kinds of predictions see them making it to the World Series this year. Again, I'm cautiously optimistic, as my hopes are always high on the A's every year, and they always wind up shooting themselves in the foot in the very last week of the season, or the opening round of the playoffs. Barry Zito's opening day pounding by the hated Yankees only added fuel to my skeptical fire, even if they did take the next two to win the series. The A's don't make it to this area until the third week of July, where they will have a three game series (Mon-Wed) in Baltimore. I think I might have to take that Wednesday off and catch the afternoon game.
Prediction for the Dolphins: division title, first round bye, AFC Championship game elimination. Hopes of Nick Saban being the next Bill Belichick will have to wait one more year. (Sadly, the AFC Championship loss will probably to the Steelers, which will make one helluva bookend to the season.) Conservative record: 11-5. (First response upon seeing the schedule: 13-3.)
Prediction for the Athletics: division title, seven game series with either Chicago or Cleveland (whoever wins the Central) for a shot at the World Series. They will, much to my chagrin, probably come up short.
Thousands of libraries, museums, and archives have contributed nearly a million collection descriptions to ArchiveGrid. Researchers searching ArchiveGrid can learn about the many items in each of these collections, contact archives to arrange a visit to examine materials, and order copies.
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"At the start of the game you will receive a manila envelope containing the following:
* A picture of your intended target(s)
* The home address of your intended target(s)
* The work address of your intended target(s)
* The name of your intended target(s)
* Contact information of your intended target(s)
Upon receipt of these items, your (or your team's) mission is to find and kill (by way of water gun, water balloon or super soaker) your target(s).
You can hunt your target down any way you see fit; you can pose as a delivery person and jack them when they open the door, disguise yourself and take them out on the street, etc.
If you are successful in your assassination attempt, the person you killed will give you their envelope and the person they were supposed to kill becomes your new target. This continues until you work yourself through all the players and retrieve the envelope with your (or your team's) picture(s) and name(s). Then you win. Cash…but first live in fear."
Great Products and Advice celebrating God's fantastic gift of sex within Christian marriage
"Sex is a great gift from God - we stock products to enhance your sex life with your spouse! All our products and images on this site are selected on two criteria: sex in marriage is based on wholly love (so we have not selected hurtful products), and the Biblical portrait of marital sex as a reflection of God's holy love for us (so we have avoided inappropriate images wherever possible)."
More Baby Clothes!
Behold, ya'll...The Boba Fett Jumper! (via Jinjur)
(Photo--and jumper--by Sarah Dyer. Photo used without permission.)
Lucha Libre!
Illegal Mexican Wrestlers Taking Smackdowns American Wrestlers Don't Want
This image is gold:
Perhaps We Should Reconsider Our Specific Requests...*
Trainer to the Champs
*Only a handful will get that, but I don't care. Isn't that right, Drizzle?
I think Mapplethorpe could have done better.
...reveals the crowning of baby Sean's head.
Sometimes, attention to details is wholly unnecessary.
List-A-Moo!
I will now, for the sake of brevity, run down the last couple of weeks in CO-approved bullet form.
-A couple of Saturdays ago, I made it to the Dada exhibit avec ES, MC (a co-worker) and JS (her fiancee). It was a good time. I need to go back, as I rushed through a couple of parts in order to avoid getting swept up in the tidal wave of a tour that was happening at the time. Two things unrelated to the exhibit that came about because of the exhibit: 1) "Tits are Dada." and 2) "Hand me a black magic marker." (Which is code for "check out that rack!")
-EF came down and stayed from last Wednesday until yesterday morning. It's great when I get to see her for such an extended stay; but it's all the worse when she leaves again.
-One of my sisters (D1) celebrated her 28th birthday last week (and thus begins the intense string of birthdays; there are now nine more to celebrate between now and the end of May), with a family gathering happening this past Saturday. A good time was had by all, and my nephew and niece were fun and well-behaved. This was funny:
Me (holding my niece): C'mon, let's go find mommy and daddy.
Niece: And don't forget your wife!
Me (laughing): She's not my wife, she's my girlfriend.
-My niece kept calling EF by a different name, which I encouraged.
-The NCAA tournament started. My brackets are completely destroyed, and the only way I get any money this year is if I steal the pot. However, I did get EF hooked on the Madness, so much so that she filled out her own brackets. Yes, fools, she's doing better than I. She had f'n Bradley in the Sweet 16!
-If anybody were to visit my spot now, she would be amazed. Amazed, I tell you! There was a legitimate marathon cleaning session. I just need to jettison some more junk (after pitching nine 30-gal. bags of stuff) and get some more furniture. When I eventually move (slightly delayed as some other considerations are now in the picture), it will be much easier. In the meantime, why not make the current situation as nice as possible?
-Speaking of new furniture, do you think this is too much?
-Unfortunately, between getting stuff done around my spot, visiting with the family, and doing stuff with EF, I did not get a chance to hook up with Los Os and their visitor, SR.
And coming this weekend: Harrisburg!
Brought on by a discussion with a co-worker w/r/t the delicious Bonobo (see article posted below), I present to you the Monkey Tastiness Index (MTI):
Bonobos - Most tasty and most versatile. Bonobo en brochette will be the hit of any party.
Marmosets - The caviar of monkeys, especially pygmy marmosets. An acquired taste for sure.
Titis - best monkey to use for a tartare (titi tartare!)
Mandrill - The monkey equivalent of a juicy t-bone. If you finish an entire adult, you eat for free!
Woolly Monkeys - ideal for any sort of wrapped dish, like burritos or enchiladas.
Tamarins - Excellent in Asian dishes. You have not lived until you've had wasabi tamarin.
Colobus Monkeys - The least distinct tasting. Good for monkeyloafs.
Howler Monkeys - Perfect for barbecuing, ideally if you go the Kansas City style route.
Macaques - Tastes like chicken.
Capuchins - Used for many a sausage. Capuchinwurst is a fun alternative for your next Oktoberfest celebration.
Proboscis Monkeys - The snout is rumored to be an aphrodisiac. The rest of the monkey is average and is often served deep fried.
Spider Monkeys - A great substitute meat for southern cuisine. A pulled spider monkey sandwich and fried green tomatoes are good eating.
Squirrel Monkeys - Best served as summer camp mystery meat or in monkey scrapple.
Another Dead Celebrity
(I don't have much else for you lately, so why not?)
Gordon Parks, known to most as the director of Shaft, has passed away. RIP, Mr. Parks.
Hippie Chimps Fast Disappearing As Dinner
Sad story, hilarious headline.
The animals are known for greeting rival groups with genital handshakes and sensual body rubs.
He Never Said That
As far as breakfast goes, you could do a lot worse than Caramel Nips. -C. Everett Koop
Masha Lopatova, a former Russian pop star who has been married to the Jazz forward for nearly six years, understands the temptation NBA players are faced with as they travel around the country for seven months a year. And she believes that forbidding something only makes it more tempting. That's why, she revealed in a story in the current issue of ESPN The Magazine, she allows Kirilenko an "allowance" of one night per year with another woman.
