Wednesday, December 27, 2006

First James Brown, Now This

RIP, President Ford.

(Fortunately, Tom Brokaw was wrong.)

Monday, December 18, 2006


"D'you know why I had car wash people put cocoa butter smell in there?! Because I want prostitutes to feel welcome! I don't want them to feel like it's a death trap." -C. Brutananadilewski

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

On Football: An Early Prediction

While the Dolphins have not yet been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, the realist in me has conceded yet another year of playoff-less football for the men in aqua and orange. Therefore, I am actively pulling for what would probably be the most fun to watch Super Bowl: the San Diego Chargers vs. the New Orleans Saints. I'm convinced that the kind of football that hooks you as a kid will always influence what you consider "good" vs. "bad" football, even if those definitions don't usually fit with the consensus opinion. Naturally, as a Dolphins fan hooked by a prolific, Dan Marino-led offense, shootouts will always entertain me. Thus: Chargers/Saints. Of course, I've come to appreciate defense as well, which is why the Colts are not part of this equation.

Anyway, the storylines once again would write themselves. A Saints appearance would be the happy ending (not in any sort of realistic sense, mind you, just in the "storytelling" sense) for New Orleans, while their quarterback would be facing the team that cut him after he put up the best (before this season) stats of his career. Meanwhile, Marty "We Are All" Schottenheimer would finally get a chance to get that Super Bowl ring that would cement his status as one of the games all time best. Ladainian Tomlinson would get a chance to cap off the best rushing performance I've seen in my lifetime and possibly one of the best ever. And on the other sideline would be Reggie Bush, on a tremendous tear of late, looking to break out on the biggest stage on which he's ever performed. (That sound you hear is Deuce McAllister storming off in disgust.) Throw in some ink on Marques Colston going from almost-Mr. Irrelevant to possible Super Bowl MVP candidate and the writers can take the entire two weeks off before the Super Bowl.

Final prediction: the Saints win a high-scoring back and forth game, 38-35.