When In Doubt, Turn To Sports

Feh.

I'm not sure what's worse: the quality of the teams for which I am eternally cheering, or the fact that I can't stop myself. This has not been a good fall for sports. Sure, the A's made the playoffs again, and even got out of the first round. But then they got swept like they were the Kansas City Royals (next year's champs, by the by) and all the good feelings are gone. I can't even bring myself to root for/against/for/idon'tknowanymore Tony LaRussa.

In college football, I've got the best and worst of times. Ohio State is still #1 in the country, but the Miami Hurricanes are looking more thugged out and embarassing than ever. It was bad enough the team wasn't very good to start, now they've got yet another black eye on the reputation, such as it was. I mean, save that shit for when you turn pro, kids! At least that way, you can afford good lawyers. Just ask Ray Lewis.

On the pro side...oy. I can't even bring myself to talk about the pathetic situation that is year two of the Saban-era Dolphins. And yet--AND YET--there's a too-vocal-for-it's-own-good part of me that is thinking they can run the table after the bye week. (Shut up. Just shut up! Yes, I looked at the schedule.) Better yet, I'm picturing it with them totally adopting a gunslinger mentality with Cleo Lemon at quarterback, chucking it downfield to Chambers, Vick, and Welker. At least my insane imaginings are comical and not based in any sort of reality.

The only way I can imagine enjoying sports this fall, beyond the Buckeyes pounding the Wolverines, is if the Atlanta Hawks get off to a hot start. (SHUT UP!) I know. It's like playing Russian roulette with a loaded gun. I'm just asking for it. Well, I don't give a good god damn. Marvin and Shelden Williams to glory!

I. Suck.

On the plus side, with nothing interesting going on in sports (Cram your hockey! Cram it!), I have been able to use my what little down time I have from work to slog through the media bottleneck in my apartment. Music, books, games and movies have been go. Which reminds me: go pick up the new Melvins disc. Now. Seriously. It's called A Senile Animal and is worth the money. Don't you like to rock? Don'tcha?! Freedom hater.

Holidays Are Hell



...that 're so feckin' tight, his hairy sac brushes off my elbow with the slightest bit of turbulence.

Gridiron Funny
for The Drizzle



Wait for a sign from Gozer the Traveller; he will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii, the Traveller came as a large and moving Torb. Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex Supplicants, they chose a new form for him -- that of a Giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you!

Leyland!
Yankees lose. Sports schadenfreude through the roof. It's nearly as satisfying as seeing Duke lose.

I'm taking Oakland in 6. Go A's! Please Hurt, Hammer 'Em! (That bit was completely stolen from Jeff Chang's blog.)

The King Should Stick To Football

Finally, Sneak King takes the stealth action genre and puts it to a friendlier use than usual. Instead of tiptoeing behind enemy guards to silently snap their necks, players will sneak up on hungry people to surprise them with offerings of Burger King food. Gamers will have to sneak up on people in a logging yard, a construction site, downtown, and the suburbs, and they will be graded on their performance "based on how elaborate the delivery is executed."

***

Classic:

-Road trip to Wilmington, NC with the Drizzle. That place is awesome. And the weather was perfect. So much to say about this weekend, but I just don't have the energy.
-Nephew (the first, #61 pictured below) playing football, niece cheering him on. Regardez les photos!





-Mother and sister have successfully moved to Raleigh. It was sad, but definitely the best thing for them to do.
-Have new furniture in the apartment, so it finally feels like more than a place to just sleep between my time at work.
-Related: recliner!
-The A's are up 2-0 in the opening series of the ALDS. I'm genuinely shocked, as I expected them to be swept out. Hopefully they can keep this up.
-Turned 32. Life rocks. (Special shout out to MC for the good bday words.)

Dud

-Teh sickness. Have a doc appointment for this coming Monday. It can't get here soon enough.
-Both my fantasy and favorite football teams are in the shitter. I can't believe I bought the hype with Daunte Culpepper. Jo-ey! Jo-ey!
-Work has been f'n killer this week. And it's only Wednesday.

That is all. Details when when/if I feel like it. Hope all you people are doing a'ight.

Now I'm Nimoy: NIN + Spock = Nerd Gold. (via Paper Thin Walls)

Even More Pop Culture Detritus

Stop hatin! (Hilarity found via Paper Thin Walls.

These Aren't The Droids You're Looking For

Are You Ready To Rock?

The list of confirmed songs for Guitar Hero 2 has expanded. I suppose the inclusion of "Free Bird" was inevitable. The Lamb of God track is a nice surprise.

With this, Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy, God of War 2*, Yakuza (out tomorrow), and Final Fantasy XII out this fall (as well as releases of game adaptations of Reservoir Dogs and Scarface), the probable release of two more next-gen consoles (Nintendo's Wii and Sony's PS3), and the latest controversial title from the Rockstar Games (Bully), it should be an interesting fall for game nerds all over the country.

*Turns out GoW2 isn't due out until Q1 2007. Nuts.

UCW! UCW!

There's so much gold here. "Passion piledrivers." (Also a mixed drink: 1/3 passion fruit juice, 1/3 prune juice, 1/3 vodka.) Guys being dragged to hell. It also raises some questions. For instance, would a "Holy shit!" chant be acceptable after a major spot? If they have were to have a death match, like a Taipei Death Match or an Anus Explosion Death Match, could there really be a loser? And really, even if they have extreme matches, don't they kind of pale in comparison to some biblical events? How impressive is a powerbomb through a light tube log cabin when compared to the raising Lazarus from the dead? Sure, "Sick" Nick Mondo can take a weed whacker to the gut, but let's see him rain fire and brimstone down on a couple of cities.

Crikey, Indeed

RIP, Crocodile Hunter

Would You Like To Play A Game?

Possible '08 Presidential hopeful Mark Warner gets his game on. Rumors that he will also make an appearance in World of Warcraft as a gnome mage named "Warnus" are completely unsubstantiated. (via Game Politics)

I Wish I Had Found Out About This Earlier



I swear, if I were a woman, this would be my wedding gown. (Found here.)

'Ello guv'ner! Lube job while you wait?

The story doesn't say if wrestling is involved at any point. I like the logo and the obvious attempts at making teh sexy. I've seen this sort of thing before, though. Well, it wasn't a quick lube service, but there were women and funnels involved.

Mentok!
aka, more from the Filipino judiciary.

"Floro was also understood to have claimed supernatural abilities, the ability to read the future and held 'healing sessions' in his chambers."

I've tried the "healing sessions" trick. It's a Filipino mainstay.

TOUR RIDER!
(subject is best imagined being bellowed by Henry Rollins)

This summer's musical darlings, Gnarls Barkley (you might have heard their hit single, "Hey Ya! 2006"), have one helluva tour rider. What's more hilarious: requesting Magnum condoms or white athletic socks?

Macaca!

Or, The politics of failure have failed. We need to make them work again.

Dali!

That is some surreal chocolate.

Mental Clearinghouse

I am really not very good at this blogging thing. Once I turned the corner on trying to make this space as devoid of personal bric-a-brac as possible, it has been hard to go back and write about my life, even if it is relatively drama-free. Things happen, but I don't reflect upon them enough (or they are not of enough consequence) to write anything particularly insightful about the events. The passage of time only makes it more difficult, as short-term memory seems to be permanently unreliable and my powers of recall are eroded by lack of sleep and worldly distractions.

Plus, I am powerfully lazy.

In spite of that, I still feel compelled to keep up with things here, even if I have to use bullet-points. So, without further rambling, here are some things that are happening/have happened.

-My nephew will be playing football this fall. His position has not been decided yet, but my guess is defensive back. After all, my mother says he is a bit hesitant to tackle the other kids. Obviously, he is the next Deion Sanders. (I am a bit surprised he does not like to belt kids. He is a complete rough-houser any other time.)

-My niece is going to be a cheerleader for his team. It's nice to see siblings share activities like that.

-Due to my helping a loved one with some serious scrilla, I had to put my workstation purchase on hold for a few months. I have now been re-payed, so let the comparison shopping begin anew. Who doesn't like a good Xeon vs. Opteron debate? With any luck, I will be a bit of a recluse this fall. Seriously, that will be a good thing.

-Have had some quality adventuring with The Drizzle lately. As a result, Chambersburg is now the preferred destination for Hoss's road trips. Delicious!

-Went to two Nats games last week. One with Jamy and one with my father and cousin. My cousin is visiting from England, and was completely unfamiliar with the rules of baseball. My father and I wound up giving him a crash course in the first few innings. By the end, he was on his feet and cheering with the rest of the crowd. He is officially a Nats fan. It was fun to see someone who has not been completely jaded by the sport get caught up in it. His enthusiasm was refreshing. Too bad he's aligning himself with a team that is totally butt. He might as well be a Mariners fan.

-I look good in a suit. Seriously. I found this out when I purchased "My Very First Suit" to attend the wedding of one of Erica's cousins. Almost makes me wish I had bought suits before. Almost.

That's really about it. The events about which I previously said I'd write are all too far in the past (a whole month!) for me to remember. Therefore, a swift synopsis: 4th of July was both fun and infuriating; the going away party for a co-worker was the drunkest evening I've ever had at work (sad that there are other nights in contention); and the World Cup final sucked, but I had a good buffet breakfast to offset my disappointment with the match. Oh, and my first trip to New York City was awesome, and I will certainly be going again, hopefully sooner than later.

I'm sure this was funny, like, minutes ago. So what if I'm late. I'm still laughing.