Thursday, May 1, 2003

May 1st and all is well.

Sorta.

I feel like I have a lot to say. A lot. But I won't. Reasons? 1) Not sure where to begin. 2) Trying not to be overdramatic when it might (might...slight might) not be warranted. 3) I'm actually not in a depressed mood. I have tummy skitches going on, but overall, I'm just...

Here's an analogy: I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, and I'm looking over. However, this cliff is not new to me. I've been thrown off it a few times, and have managed to get up again. You get thrown off a cliff enough, eventually, the fear disappears.

Okay, that IS melodramatic. And it's not even that bad. Sure, it could get worse, but what can I do about it? Some things in life you can't control. And no matter how well you think you know the way, sometimes your internal compass is off and you can still get lost. Some people try to find their way back to the road, while others just decide that the direction their headed is always the right direction. In some ways, that's almost noble, because you're always moving forward. But that way always leaves a trail of what ifs, and who wants that?

Ugh...cryptic philosophising is terrible. But you know, it's all I have at this point. I feel like I should be in a worse state than I am, but to tell the truth, I'm not. If I've learned anything in the past year and a half (and I have, believe me), it's that I just need to let things happen. Reacting to things that haven't even happened isn't healthy.

You know, I haven't plugged anything in here in ages. I'll have to dig something up.

A bientot!