This works on so many levels.

The rappers will return home this weekend, as Memphis officials have declared Saturday Three 6 Mafia Day and will present the group with a key to the city.

Not hatin' or anything, but that's just ludacris ludicrous.

For The Birds

Hatebeak: a death metal band with a parrot on lead vocals. Get some!

More Baby Clothes!

Behold, ya'll...The Boba Fett Jumper! (via Jinjur)


(Photo--and jumper--by Sarah Dyer. Photo used without permission.)

Lucha Libre!

Illegal Mexican Wrestlers Taking Smackdowns American Wrestlers Don't Want

This image is gold:

Perhaps We Should Reconsider Our Specific Requests...*

Trainer to the Champs


*Only a handful will get that, but I don't care. Isn't that right, Drizzle?

I think Mapplethorpe could have done better.

...reveals the crowning of baby Sean's head.

Sometimes, attention to details is wholly unnecessary.

Hail Riverbottom!

Do real bands even rock like this any more?

Move Over, DJ Kaiser Wilhelm

Almost forgot.

New Character Alert: Hunter Green, Husky Male Model.

List-A-Moo!

I will now, for the sake of brevity, run down the last couple of weeks in CO-approved bullet form.

-A couple of Saturdays ago, I made it to the Dada exhibit avec ES, MC (a co-worker) and JS (her fiancee). It was a good time. I need to go back, as I rushed through a couple of parts in order to avoid getting swept up in the tidal wave of a tour that was happening at the time. Two things unrelated to the exhibit that came about because of the exhibit: 1) "Tits are Dada." and 2) "Hand me a black magic marker." (Which is code for "check out that rack!")

-EF came down and stayed from last Wednesday until yesterday morning. It's great when I get to see her for such an extended stay; but it's all the worse when she leaves again.

-One of my sisters (D1) celebrated her 28th birthday last week (and thus begins the intense string of birthdays; there are now nine more to celebrate between now and the end of May), with a family gathering happening this past Saturday. A good time was had by all, and my nephew and niece were fun and well-behaved. This was funny:

Me (holding my niece): C'mon, let's go find mommy and daddy.
Niece: And don't forget your wife!
Me (laughing): She's not my wife, she's my girlfriend.

-My niece kept calling EF by a different name, which I encouraged.

-The NCAA tournament started. My brackets are completely destroyed, and the only way I get any money this year is if I steal the pot. However, I did get EF hooked on the Madness, so much so that she filled out her own brackets. Yes, fools, she's doing better than I. She had f'n Bradley in the Sweet 16!

-If anybody were to visit my spot now, she would be amazed. Amazed, I tell you! There was a legitimate marathon cleaning session. I just need to jettison some more junk (after pitching nine 30-gal. bags of stuff) and get some more furniture. When I eventually move (slightly delayed as some other considerations are now in the picture), it will be much easier. In the meantime, why not make the current situation as nice as possible?

-Speaking of new furniture, do you think this is too much?

-Unfortunately, between getting stuff done around my spot, visiting with the family, and doing stuff with EF, I did not get a chance to hook up with Los Os and their visitor, SR.

And coming this weekend: Harrisburg!

Brought on by a discussion with a co-worker w/r/t the delicious Bonobo (see article posted below), I present to you the Monkey Tastiness Index (MTI):

Bonobos - Most tasty and most versatile. Bonobo en brochette will be the hit of any party.

Marmosets - The caviar of monkeys, especially pygmy marmosets. An acquired taste for sure.

Titis - best monkey to use for a tartare (titi tartare!)

Mandrill - The monkey equivalent of a juicy t-bone. If you finish an entire adult, you eat for free!

Woolly Monkeys - ideal for any sort of wrapped dish, like burritos or enchiladas.

Tamarins - Excellent in Asian dishes. You have not lived until you've had wasabi tamarin.

Colobus Monkeys - The least distinct tasting. Good for monkeyloafs.

Howler Monkeys - Perfect for barbecuing, ideally if you go the Kansas City style route.

Macaques - Tastes like chicken.

Capuchins - Used for many a sausage. Capuchinwurst is a fun alternative for your next Oktoberfest celebration.

Proboscis Monkeys - The snout is rumored to be an aphrodisiac. The rest of the monkey is average and is often served deep fried.

Spider Monkeys - A great substitute meat for southern cuisine. A pulled spider monkey sandwich and fried green tomatoes are good eating.

Squirrel Monkeys - Best served as summer camp mystery meat or in monkey scrapple.

Another Dead Celebrity

(I don't have much else for you lately, so why not?)

Gordon Parks, known to most as the director of Shaft, has passed away. RIP, Mr. Parks.

Presenting: The Muppet Matrix

Some inspired casting, there.

RIP - Kirby Puckett

That's really sad. One of my favorite players from that era.

Roethlisblogger!

Hippie Chimps Fast Disappearing As Dinner

Sad story, hilarious headline.

The animals are known for greeting rival groups with genital handshakes and sensual body rubs.

Amen.

He Never Said That

As far as breakfast goes, you could do a lot worse than Caramel Nips. -C. Everett Koop

Outrageous.

Masha Lopatova, a former Russian pop star who has been married to the Jazz forward for nearly six years, understands the temptation NBA players are faced with as they travel around the country for seven months a year. And she believes that forbidding something only makes it more tempting. That's why, she revealed in a story in the current issue of ESPN The Magazine, she allows Kirilenko an "allowance" of one night per year with another woman.

She allows him forbidden fruit once a year, then snatches it away from him just like that. That's positively evil.