Sunday, May 30, 2004

Though I am no lesbian (not even a woman, for that matter), I certainly support the idea behind this site: The Eliza Dushku Estrogen Brigade. I think my new favorite word is "dykon." Who coined that?

Saturday, May 29, 2004

Here's a rundown of my day:

Hooker titties.

Thank you and good night.

Friday, May 28, 2004

Mr. O has stated that he has some thoughts coming re: the "controversy" surrounding Wonkette/Washingtonienne. (Do a Google News search if you have no idea what I'm talking about.) Before he puts his own spin on the issue, I thought I'd get my bile on and rant nonsensically about it.

With a deep breath, I must ask a simple question: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? You know, I can understand needing some escapist "news" in the face of our current war on terror, heinous local crimes, and Michael Moore's chubby puss on every news channel, but do we really need to focus on some Paris Hilton/Monica Lewinsky wannabe-hybrid? Couldn't we come up with something a little more challenging, a little more outrageous, like say, I don't know, a possible Scott Baio/Erin Moran reunion sitcom? (For the record, I made that up, though, I do find the idea outrageous.) Seriously, some whore (and let's not mince words here; she may not have put out for money explicitly, but she jolly well knew she was getting something besides physical pleasure out of the deal) bangs some anonymous Hill people, and suddenly it's news? Haven't we moved past the days where a woman's sexual exploits are considered shocking? I mean, unless Saxby Chambliss was involved, this story isn't worth the column/screen space it's been alloted. (Yes, yes, the irony tastes delicious. Let's continue.) There's nothing outrageous or shocking or newsworthy about anything in this story. Not the libidinous **** (rhymes with "stunt") at the center of the "controversy," not the government officials who banged her, and not the fact that she blogged about the whole thing. Any genetic defective with rudimentary knowledge of the internet and some time to kill (hint: look at what you're reading) can get a blog going. So she did it on company time; pardon me while I break out the defibrillator. I'm sure 95% of all bloggers use the company hardware and time to post their irrelevant ponderings. Hell, I'm doing it right now! Where is the newsworthiness in this story? Jebus H. Vishnu, didn't Clinton drain the well on the sexual "deviance" of government? Because that seems to be the only hook, and I cannot believe that people are so eager to eat it up. Here's a little clue for you: just because it happens between elected officials and the town whore doesn't make it news. You swap "elected official" with "J.C., the Cracker Barrel custodian" and the picture of what it is becomes clear: people fucking. No more, no less. Get over your mock indignation or your 2nd-grade teehee-ing. You should be ashamed of yourselves for making one act (sex as currency, aka, "a woman can fuck in exchange for goods and services") seem like something out of the ordinary. That's about as run-of-the-mill as a D.C. cop issuing a parking ticket.

Now if you'll excuse me, I still have 20 minutes left with my freaky prostitute. Did somebody say "pastyface?"

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Just heard on ESPN re: American Idol (they were showing the announcement of the winner as part of their Top Ten): "the death knell of American culture."

Funny, I think the same thing every time one of their summer stock wannabe announcers spouts their lameass, wouldn't-be-heard-on-a-shitty-UPN-show, catch-phrase. Fuck ESPN. They are becoming the MTV of sports, and that is not a compliment.

Monday, May 24, 2004

Defamer: Monday Morning Box Office: America Assumes The Position For Shrek 2.

Hilarious: "The big, green ogre bent over the American moviegoing public and banged it until $104 million flew out of its sequel-hungry ears."

(Thanks to JW for turning me on to Defamer.)

Monday, May 10, 2004

You know, I haven't been much for posting lately. Not that things haven't been happening, but I've just been feeling incredibly indifferent to my blogs these days. So, in order to at least keep this thing from falling too far behind, I give you some fluff links for your amusement and/or consternation.

Maybe it was going after the fly. Seriously, is Mr. Magoo ladling out the soup in that kitchen? How do you miss a mouse?

Wait...Around the World in 80 Days starring Jackie Chan? Ha! Hooo! Can't stop laughing. Okay, I just did. Actually, check out that cast: Steve Coogan, Kathy Bates, The Governor of California, John Cleese, the Brothers Wilson, Sammo Hung. Maybe I will see this after all.

Hilarious or ridiculous? ("Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren?") I came across this site because I was looking for more pictures of this guy. When did J. Jonah Jameson become the FEMA director?

Speaking of ridiculous:

Also: at retroCRUSH, they're doing a "50 Coolest Song Parts," chronicling the top 50 songs where "pieces of the song are cooler than the song itself." Interesting.

Saturday, May 1, 2004

Kentucky Derby

The race is a couple of hours away (current time: 3:56pm EST), so I will make my picks public. How will I do?

W: Pro Prado
P: Lion Heart
S: Quinton's Gold Rush