The Utah Trip

As travelogues go, this will be by far the most mundane. To be blunt (and possibly save you time), I really didn't do much in Salt Lake City, but not for the reasons you might expect. You know, like, "Dude, it's fucking Utah! What can you do there?" But first, some back story.

The entire purpose of the trip was to see A & C. I went to school with A, both of us freshmen in the fall of '92. She was one of the first people I met (admittedly, through her then roommate, who I kinda had a little crush on) and to this day is one of my closest friends. We even lived together for a couple of years in two different group housing situations. Anyway, the last time I saw them was nearly five years ago. (I have known C for nearly as long, as he and A met that same fall of '92.) The last time I saw C was the day of the birth of their first son, M, in August of 1999 and the last time I saw A was a month later, at a friend's wedding. We have remained in touch, of course, but due mostly to my financial struggles that began in the winter of '99, I haven't really had the scratch to get down and see them. In that same time, they have also had a second son, S, so raising a family, in addition to their work, has kept them from making it up to this area.

Needless to say, this trip was long overdue. I set aside the vacation time a few months back, and was really looking forward to making it back to Austin (where they were living until a few weeks ago; a bit more on that in a sec). Then, sometime at the end of February, when I was getting ready to coordinate times and such with them, I found out the news: due to some occupational re-shuffling and downsizing, they had to move to Salt Lake City, where A was getting a job at the corporate headquarters (the other option being unemployment). So SLC it was. I booked the room sometime during the first week of March and booked my flight a few weeks later. Fast forward to a week ago today and presto, I'm in beautiful Salt Lake City.

The flight: window seat the entire trip, with only one connection (in Chicago, my next travel destination). Not too bad, even though it left at 8 in the morning and I wound up only getting 4 hours of sleep the night before. C meets me at the baggage claim, we head off to his truck, and mere moments later, we're in search of vittles. I have to say, Salt Lake City is beautiful. Mountains all around, some still with snow on top, a decidedly tall building-free skyline, and an all-around cleanliness (for lack of a better word) makes it a joy just to ride through. And ride we did, in search of food. What was my first official stop outside the airport in Salt Lake City? Why, Hooters, of course. As has been the case of every other Hooters I've been to, the experience was underwhelming. The beer and wings were delicious, but the staff--less than stimulating. From there we get on to the hotel, where I drop off my bags, give my hair (which is really fucked up for some reason) a once over, and it's back on the road. At this point, it's almost time to go pick up the kids from day care, so our next destination is decided. But before that, a few things to note about my first impressions of downtown Salt Lake City:

Clean. Almost freakishly so. To the point where I nearly question its "city" status.

Traffic is obeying the letter of the law. Stopping at all the crosswalks, going the speed limit, the whole bit. On more than a couple of occasions, I marveled at how some people were able to cross the street without becoming roadkill, as they would have here or just about any other metropolitan area for that matter.

A big billboard for Alternative Utah. If you go to that site, the first billboard I saw was the top, without the makeover. I thought, "wow, the queer community doesn't even get that kinda board space in Dupont Circle! And here they are representin' in Mormon nation. How deliciously perverse!" Okay, that last part I just added in there in a fit of Paul Lynde/Oscar Wilde tomfoolery. Sorry. Then, the next day (or possibly even later that day), it was redone as the bottom billboard (as seen on the site), pimping "Alternative Music Utah." Feh. Modern rock shenanigans. And look at those fucking assmonkeys! I bet you Bill likes to fart on Kerry and Gina while they eat.

Back to the actual trip: we go to pick up M and S from day care. We go to M's class first, and he runs up and hugs C with a loud "Daddy!" cry. Then he sees me standing a little behind and he says, "Who's that guy, daddy?" After a brief explanation, we go pick up S (who is a mere 10 months) in the baby room, where he is being tended to by a rather cute employee. (Another aside: two of the kids there, a brother and sister, were named Jet and Jade. Now if you're going to give your kids alliterative names--damn you, mom!--those are two of the better ones.) We scoop up the kids and we're back to their crib. And what a crib it is! They are actually only renting it for six months from a WNBA player who was a member of the now-defunct Utah Starzz and currently plays elsewhere (but keeps her home in SLC, in which I believe she may have roots). Anyway, A and C are definitely living large for the time being. Not P. Diddy large, but large all the same. We are greeted at the door by Chuy and Max, their two dogs. And cue: allergies! Actually, the allergies didn't kick in immediately, and as it turns out, they were mostly cat related (as one of the couches is still home to some dander that belongs to the WNBA player's cats). But for that evening, when I was on the couch, my allergies just took me to the woodshed. I think the lack of sleep and hours of travel may have worn me down a bit, too, making me more susceptible. But, I prattle on.

Moments later, A arrives from work, we hug, she is warmly greeted by M, and it's catch up time. The rest of the evening consisted of conversation, dog walking, a homemade spaghetti dinner, and a game or two of Hi Ho, Cherry-O!. Sometime around 10:30, A drives me back to the hotel, where I quickly change out of my hair-covered clothes, turn on HBO, and crash not too much later. And that's Thursday.

Friday: I slept in late (when C called at 9 to see if I was up, I had to beg off for a few more hours). When I do get up and ready myself, it turns out that he needed to get a new battery for A's car. So we're postponing for a little while longer. That's fine. I decide to do a little exploring for myself. I get outside, in search for a small bite to eat (nothing big as lunch was in the cards), and just wander. I finally get a $0.99 type burger from Carl's Jr. with some chocolate chip cookies. Yum. Then I walk around some more, seeing the Temple (of course), and some other nice buildings which I cannot identify. Here's where the travelogue really falls apart, because my whole purpose for this trip was to spend time with A and C and their family, not to explore/sightsee. Sure, that would hopefully be part of the deal (especially since it would be a exploration for both of us, since they had just moved up there about a week before I arrived), but not a major priority. I come across Crossroads Plaza (your typical mall) and finally, Wasatch CD Exchange. Ahhhhhhh...here we are. One thing I try to do when I travel is find the local music dive where I can pick up your basic indie/avant/underground/miscellaneous album. This was a fine store, indeed. My purchase: Virtuosity, by Chops (he of The Mountain Brothers). It's a solid, if a bit "same-y" sounding, record and recommended to all you hip-hop headz out there. After that purchase, I get back to the hotel. Time passes by, then I'm out the door with C.

Another aside: the weather is ridiculously nice. The temp is only in the mid 60s, but with no wind and on elevated terrain, it's perfect, and not at all what was being called for when I checked the weather on Wednesday night before I packed. Score!

Lunch was at Squatters and was delicious. We dined on the outdoor patio, where I had some amazing garlic fries with my entree and a couple of delicious beverages (a Black and Blonde as well as a Captain Bastard's Oatmeal Stout). C also bought this shirt on the way out, which I wish I had picked up, in retrospect. Funny.

Post-Squatters, we basically drove around, looking for something to do and coming up mondo empty. We drove up by the university (of Utah) and then back down in the valley, but ultimately found nothing that interested either of us. Really, there isn't much more to say about this day: we picked up the kids from day care (where the older children, including M's class, were doing sing-a-longs for the parents; a verse: "If all of the raindrops were lemon drops and gum drops, oh what a rain it would be!" Eat your heart out, Bernie Taupin! I had that song stuck in my head the whole weekend); we had dinner at Wingers, then went back to the spot for some more maxin' and relaxin' (and dog walkin'). My return to the hotel that night was about 12:30 am.

Saturday: woke up and found out that little S was sick and had to be taken to the doc. So I had some time to kill, which I did with the NFL Draft. Fuck you, Eli Manning! And welcome aboard, Vernon Carey! But of course, fuck you Pittsburgh, and fuck you harder Buffalo! I can't believe Big Ben dropped to the Steelers, and that the Bills picked up the QB I was hoping the Phins could somehow pick up. Damn!

Lunch, around 2pm, was at Cafe Pierpont (mit bad service! But excellent salsa bar), then it was off to Hill Aerospace Museum. We didn't have a lot of time to explore, but it was good fun, and recommended if you're into that sorta thing. After that, we went for a brief expedition on Porter Rockwell Trail. Again, not much more to the day, winding down once again at their house, watching Trading Spaces reruns and some late night chinese food.

Sunday morning was a comedy of errors trying to cram in one "fun" thing before I left, or at least a nice little brunch, as A kinda felt bad that we didn't get to do much due to sick kids and car batteries and work and such. She needn't have felt that way, though, since I really enjoyed myself. I saw enough of the place to want to go back and everything I wanted to accomplish--catching up with A and C and their family--was done. Anyway, as it turns out, all the restaurants we wanted to try were either closed or too far from the airport for us to get to and actually dine. So, after dining under the golden arches, I was packed off to the airport. It was a hard goodbye for sure, but that happens. I had forgotten how much I loved being around A and C. And their kids are just angels! Even M took a shine to me, something I learned was rare, unless you happen to be a pretty girl. (Smart kid.)

The trip back was a little hellish (I was in the middle seat most of the way and had two connections), ending with a lost bag. On the plus side, I had a reason to skip work the next day. All in all, my first encounter with Salt Lake City turned out to be a very good one, with the city defying my (admittedly ignorant) expectations and then some.

Now...green jello for everyone!