BEST. EPISODE. EVER.

So, I saw Episode II: Attack of the Clones this past weekend. No, it wasn't the best episode ever. I was just messing with ya. But it was not nearly as brutal as critics would have you believe. Unless, of course, you cut out the last twenty-odd minutes of the movie. Then its pretty craptacular fare. Maybe not the blight on cinematic history that some of the more "learned" critical poseurs are making it out to be, but it was definitely not "The Empire Strikes Back."

The worst part of the movie was the love story. Now, I am not averse to romance. But a romantic angle inside of a sci-fi/action film can go wrong in so many ways, and this one did. Most of it can be chalked up to Hayden Christiansen's terrible, terrible acting (Jake Lloyd was better!) and Lucas' cliche addled romantic dialogue. Whatever can't be pinned on this year's model of Anakin Skywalker can be pinned on how forced it all came off in the context of the movie.

Now, there were some other cheesy, should have been put on the editing floor moments, but to point them all out (deathsticks? c'mon!) would be nitpicking. However, the movie was made in a big way at the end. So as not to spoil your enjoyment of the movie, I will sum it up thusly:

Yoda.

Lightsaber.

Kick ass!

This really was worth my nine bucks. The rest of the movie could have been all Jar Jar (who, thank the maker, had very little screen time in this episode) and I still would have left the theater happy if the last part of the movie remained the same. This is also what will get the die-hard fans going back, much to the chagrin of the cinema pundits. It's funny, a number of reviews seem to decry the fact that these movies don't live up to the standards of the originals. But the fact is, they're the same: cheesy dialogue, intriguing characters, great special effects, and the good guys win in the end. (Usually.) I think people are just disappointed that a part of their childhood is being pulled out of the rusty trunk that is hidden in the corner of their nostalgia basement (beneath their memories of Lincoln Logs and Lite Brite) and given to a new generation of moviegoers, who they probably do not deem worthy. And while I agree with them in principle, the fact remains that most of the people crying foul on the new movies lost their sense of wonder a long time ago, and are too busy quaffing latte's for their opinions to be relevant to anybody but themselves and their editors.

Anyway...sorry about the long-winded rant. Hey! Speaking of cultural irrelevance, tonight is the series finale of Ally McBeal. It's about fucking time.

But, I don't want to end this on a negative note, so one last item of business: Adult Swim is the funniest shit on tv. They ran the great "Welcome to Eltingville" pilot again last night, which of course if the creation of Evan Dorkin (who, along with Sarah Dyer, have their web presence at the very cool House of Fun). I really hope that the series gets picked up. If you saw it and would like to lend your support to the show, go here. Definitely check out Adult Swim when you get a chance, though.

Anyway, just an hour until the post-Judgment Day Raw, and I need to get my eat on. I'm going to try to update this a bit more regularly, as it turns out a couple of my favorite ladies actually check out the spot on occasion, and I'd hate to disappoint them.