Greetings from Monongahela...

Just a brief howdy as I patiently wait for the little woman to finish packing for our return trip to D.C. tomorrow.

Vacation has been excellent so far, with the exception of having a weird and vivid dream Sunday night about going into work and then realizing when I got there that I was supposed to be starting my vacation. What's that about? Otherwise, it's been a heady mix of commerce, foodstuffs, and meeting the important people in the family. Fortunately, that last part has gone very well and I wasn't nervous one bit. Well, maybe I was a little, but not to the point where I was being completely socially inept or anything. Except for when I smacked her cousin on the ass. What was I thinking? Fortunately, he has a pretty good sense of humor.

Wait...that never happened. I'm okay then.

That's really been about it. Hope all is well with everyone.

Excelsior!
The Management

Guitar Hero II First Tracks Revealed
Game Nerds The World Over Throw The Goat

Sweet! For those PS2 owners that do not have the first game yet, I must ask: what the fuck is wrong with you? Do you have something against fun? You probably hate freedom, too.

Life Ain't Nothin' But Bitches And Money

Well, that and higher education.

Leon: Drink Down The Irony. (But don't drink the beer.)

If You Kick Me Off The Bus...
I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

This is the most compelling reason yet to be a school bus driver.

More Magic From YouTube

The Osmonds - Crazy Horses. (Alternate version with better fidelity, but less dancing.)

Political Discourse, Vega$-Style!

Prompted by The Drizzle's mention of Tip O'Neill in the comments below, I found this:



That is a picture of Tip O'Neill with former Texas rep Jake Pickle, obviously front and center at a Manowar concert. By the way, click the link for Big Jake (or, if you prefer, Big Pickle) to see him giving Coretta Scott King the "squeaky pickle", which is a tremendous euphemism waiting to happen.

Because Lazy Blogging Is Better Than No Blogging

(Alternate title for this post: "My life is like understanding Carmen, 'cuz I gets Bizet." Groan on your own time, people!)

Home internet was out for about a week. It was restored to its full-glory this morning, about three hours after shuffling Erica (fka as "EF") on the road back home. She was able to make it down for the third of three straight weekends of family birthdays, this time for my nephew, who turns 7 on Wednesday. Here is my nephew at Easter:



(Image resizing really distorts his suit, which is a shame, because it's such a lil pimp outfit. Curse my poor/lazy photography skills!)

The kids rode with Erica and me at one point, and we totally had a "family" moment when we both yelled to the back for them to stop tormenting each other. (Though, we both busted a gut when my four year-old niece got gangsta on her brother and said, "I'm 'bout to get on ya.") Isn't she adorable?



Anyway, it was a fun time with the whole family. Erica is a natural fit with my clan, which is a good sign. Despite a pre-adulthood history of dysfunction, it is very important that my significant other and my family get along well.

Going back a little further: the previous weekend was for my mother's birthday, and the weekend before that was my youngest sister. Those that have known me for a while know that I drop out of sight during the month of April. May is better for socializing, even though there are now more birthdays: my friend AK, Big Lou (aka my dad), Erica, Erica's mom, Los O's (both of them!) and probably some others that I'm sure I'm forgetting (I do this). And there's Mother's Day! You guys are killing me. Seriously, space your damn fake holidays.

I kid, of course, because I love.

Anyway, I'm back and ready for some social re-integration. I think I'm going to make one of my rare forays into a movie theater this, um, Thursday (too lazy to confirm at the moment) to see this. Then, I'm going to check out the Isis/Dalek/Zombi show at the Black Cat this coming Sunday. I've already pitched this to a couple of people, but now I'm putting it out there for all. This is just the start. I'd like to get out to a baseball game (Cannons or some other minor league squad, preferably), hit a water-side drinking hole or two, and maybe make a day trip. Warm weather couldn't come at a better time. Not that I don't love spending time with my family, but I'd like to add a little more spontaneity/alcohol into my life.

Not to blame the victim or anything, but...

Who falls for this? I mean, look at that guy's picture! I wouldn't take a free map from that guy, even if I was lost, let alone invite him into my home to play a little grabass.

(Alternate caption: "I was wondering what Ed Meese was up to...")

Viva Craigslist!

I'm sure this is in someone's Del.icio.us list, but I don't have the desire to go back and look. Deal with my redundancy!

"Let me fullfill (sic) all your fantasys (sic) . . . Make this Good Friday better with me," read an ad that vowed to improve the day for $150.

It's only better if they wear Catholic school uniforms.

Yes, I Know

Okay, I'm totally late with this one, but it has to be said. The oversized sunglasses? The Elton John specials? Yeah, those have to go. I'm sorry, but there are only two people in the history of mankind that have been able to pull off glasses that size successfully, and they were both staples of The Match Game. So, unless you can prove to me that you have, in fact, blown Gene Rayburn at some point in your life, you should lose this ridiculous accessory ASAP. Honestly, this is almost as repulsive as flipped up collars. CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST BE THE LEAST BIT CREATIVE FOR A CHANGE?!

Ahem.

(This is what happens when I am bombarded with a high volume of social retardation in a small period of time. On my walk to work this morning, I passed no less than seven or eight of these people. And yet, if I set them on fire where they stand, I'd be the one to go the jail. Where is the justice?)

I'd take this chance to make a pre-emptive apology, in the off chance I offended somebody I knew, but you know, fuck it. It's that f'n ridiculous.

For GC

Oz Rock City?

I think it's great that they use the classic, Peter Criss lineup.

Get A Life

You may have noticed that not much information as it concerns my actual life has been on this blog recently. I am sad to report, that's not going to change here. And the next few weekends will not be particularly blogworthy, as it will involve me going out of town for family birthdays. The "life stuff" will be back soon.

And while we're on the subject of life, perhaps you know someone who could use a Life Gem.

The LifeGem(R) is a certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life.

I have no punchline.

Sports!

The NFL released the 2006-2007 schedule this afternoon. The Dolphins will be kicking off the season against the current champions, the Pittsburgh Steelers. (Which, aside from being the team of choice for The Drizzle, also happens to be EF's favorite team. Let the crazy betting begin!) This, along with their Thanksgiving day game, is certainly a sign that the league, like many armchair prognosticators (and sad, success-starved Dolfans like myself), thinks highly of the Dolphins potential this year. I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic given the team’s recent history, even though the Dolphins have made all the right moves this offseason and appear primed to reclaim the division crown from the Duke Blue Devils New England Patriots. It should be one of the most fun seasons their offense has had since the Marino era, especially if Daunte Culpepper recovers completely from his knee injury. Between Culpepper, Ronnie Brown, Chris Chambers, Randy McMichael and an already improved O-Line, the defense should not have to be on the field for most of the game. You can't overstate the value of a good, rested defense when it comes to the playoffs. (And if Ricky Williams is cleared of all charges, they become that much better.)

Meanwhile, in baseball, the A's are early favorites for the AL West title (sorry, Jamy), and many people who get paid to make these kinds of predictions see them making it to the World Series this year. Again, I'm cautiously optimistic, as my hopes are always high on the A's every year, and they always wind up shooting themselves in the foot in the very last week of the season, or the opening round of the playoffs. Barry Zito's opening day pounding by the hated Yankees only added fuel to my skeptical fire, even if they did take the next two to win the series. The A's don't make it to this area until the third week of July, where they will have a three game series (Mon-Wed) in Baltimore. I think I might have to take that Wednesday off and catch the afternoon game.

Prediction for the Dolphins: division title, first round bye, AFC Championship game elimination. Hopes of Nick Saban being the next Bill Belichick will have to wait one more year. (Sadly, the AFC Championship loss will probably to the Steelers, which will make one helluva bookend to the season.) Conservative record: 11-5. (First response upon seeing the schedule: 13-3.)

Prediction for the Athletics: division title, seven game series with either Chicago or Cleveland (whoever wins the Central) for a shot at the World Series. They will, much to my chagrin, probably come up short.

Schadenfreude!

Archive Grid

Thousands of libraries, museums, and archives have contributed nearly a million collection descriptions to ArchiveGrid. Researchers searching ArchiveGrid can learn about the many items in each of these collections, contact archives to arrange a visit to examine materials, and order copies.

ArchiveGrid is available to both individuals and institutions free of charge through May 31st. If additional grants funds or sponsorship are obtained, ArchiveGrid will remain free of charge; otherwise subscriptions will be available for institutions and individuals alike.

(link found over at Good Shit, which is NSFW, btw.)

StreetWars

"At the start of the game you will receive a manila envelope containing the following:

* A picture of your intended target(s)
* The home address of your intended target(s)
* The work address of your intended target(s)
* The name of your intended target(s)
* Contact information of your intended target(s)

Upon receipt of these items, your (or your team's) mission is to find and kill (by way of water gun, water balloon or super soaker) your target(s).

You can hunt your target down any way you see fit; you can pose as a delivery person and jack them when they open the door, disguise yourself and take them out on the street, etc.

If you are successful in your assassination attempt, the person you killed will give you their envelope and the person they were supposed to kill becomes your new target. This continues until you work yourself through all the players and retrieve the envelope with your (or your team's) picture(s) and name(s). Then you win. Cash…but first live in fear."

This sounds like it could be a load of fun, until it goes horribly, horribly awry.

Town Without Pity Pitney

R.I.P. Gene.

He Was Injured

...injured bad.

Great Products and Advice celebrating God's fantastic gift of sex within Christian marriage

"Sex is a great gift from God - we stock products to enhance your sex life with your spouse! All our products and images on this site are selected on two criteria: sex in marriage is based on wholly love (so we have not selected hurtful products), and the Biblical portrait of marital sex as a reflection of God's holy love for us (so we have avoided inappropriate images wherever possible)."

Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog

That's right, bitches.

This works on so many levels.

The rappers will return home this weekend, as Memphis officials have declared Saturday Three 6 Mafia Day and will present the group with a key to the city.

Not hatin' or anything, but that's just ludacris ludicrous.

For The Birds

Hatebeak: a death metal band with a parrot on lead vocals. Get some!

More Baby Clothes!

Behold, ya'll...The Boba Fett Jumper! (via Jinjur)


(Photo--and jumper--by Sarah Dyer. Photo used without permission.)

Lucha Libre!

Illegal Mexican Wrestlers Taking Smackdowns American Wrestlers Don't Want

This image is gold:

Perhaps We Should Reconsider Our Specific Requests...*

Trainer to the Champs


*Only a handful will get that, but I don't care. Isn't that right, Drizzle?

I think Mapplethorpe could have done better.

...reveals the crowning of baby Sean's head.

Sometimes, attention to details is wholly unnecessary.

Hail Riverbottom!

Do real bands even rock like this any more?

Move Over, DJ Kaiser Wilhelm

Almost forgot.

New Character Alert: Hunter Green, Husky Male Model.

List-A-Moo!

I will now, for the sake of brevity, run down the last couple of weeks in CO-approved bullet form.

-A couple of Saturdays ago, I made it to the Dada exhibit avec ES, MC (a co-worker) and JS (her fiancee). It was a good time. I need to go back, as I rushed through a couple of parts in order to avoid getting swept up in the tidal wave of a tour that was happening at the time. Two things unrelated to the exhibit that came about because of the exhibit: 1) "Tits are Dada." and 2) "Hand me a black magic marker." (Which is code for "check out that rack!")

-EF came down and stayed from last Wednesday until yesterday morning. It's great when I get to see her for such an extended stay; but it's all the worse when she leaves again.

-One of my sisters (D1) celebrated her 28th birthday last week (and thus begins the intense string of birthdays; there are now nine more to celebrate between now and the end of May), with a family gathering happening this past Saturday. A good time was had by all, and my nephew and niece were fun and well-behaved. This was funny:

Me (holding my niece): C'mon, let's go find mommy and daddy.
Niece: And don't forget your wife!
Me (laughing): She's not my wife, she's my girlfriend.

-My niece kept calling EF by a different name, which I encouraged.

-The NCAA tournament started. My brackets are completely destroyed, and the only way I get any money this year is if I steal the pot. However, I did get EF hooked on the Madness, so much so that she filled out her own brackets. Yes, fools, she's doing better than I. She had f'n Bradley in the Sweet 16!

-If anybody were to visit my spot now, she would be amazed. Amazed, I tell you! There was a legitimate marathon cleaning session. I just need to jettison some more junk (after pitching nine 30-gal. bags of stuff) and get some more furniture. When I eventually move (slightly delayed as some other considerations are now in the picture), it will be much easier. In the meantime, why not make the current situation as nice as possible?

-Speaking of new furniture, do you think this is too much?

-Unfortunately, between getting stuff done around my spot, visiting with the family, and doing stuff with EF, I did not get a chance to hook up with Los Os and their visitor, SR.

And coming this weekend: Harrisburg!

Brought on by a discussion with a co-worker w/r/t the delicious Bonobo (see article posted below), I present to you the Monkey Tastiness Index (MTI):

Bonobos - Most tasty and most versatile. Bonobo en brochette will be the hit of any party.

Marmosets - The caviar of monkeys, especially pygmy marmosets. An acquired taste for sure.

Titis - best monkey to use for a tartare (titi tartare!)

Mandrill - The monkey equivalent of a juicy t-bone. If you finish an entire adult, you eat for free!

Woolly Monkeys - ideal for any sort of wrapped dish, like burritos or enchiladas.

Tamarins - Excellent in Asian dishes. You have not lived until you've had wasabi tamarin.

Colobus Monkeys - The least distinct tasting. Good for monkeyloafs.

Howler Monkeys - Perfect for barbecuing, ideally if you go the Kansas City style route.

Macaques - Tastes like chicken.

Capuchins - Used for many a sausage. Capuchinwurst is a fun alternative for your next Oktoberfest celebration.

Proboscis Monkeys - The snout is rumored to be an aphrodisiac. The rest of the monkey is average and is often served deep fried.

Spider Monkeys - A great substitute meat for southern cuisine. A pulled spider monkey sandwich and fried green tomatoes are good eating.

Squirrel Monkeys - Best served as summer camp mystery meat or in monkey scrapple.

Another Dead Celebrity

(I don't have much else for you lately, so why not?)

Gordon Parks, known to most as the director of Shaft, has passed away. RIP, Mr. Parks.

Presenting: The Muppet Matrix

Some inspired casting, there.

RIP - Kirby Puckett

That's really sad. One of my favorite players from that era.

Roethlisblogger!

Hippie Chimps Fast Disappearing As Dinner

Sad story, hilarious headline.

The animals are known for greeting rival groups with genital handshakes and sensual body rubs.

Amen.

He Never Said That

As far as breakfast goes, you could do a lot worse than Caramel Nips. -C. Everett Koop

Outrageous.

Masha Lopatova, a former Russian pop star who has been married to the Jazz forward for nearly six years, understands the temptation NBA players are faced with as they travel around the country for seven months a year. And she believes that forbidding something only makes it more tempting. That's why, she revealed in a story in the current issue of ESPN The Magazine, she allows Kirilenko an "allowance" of one night per year with another woman.

She allows him forbidden fruit once a year, then snatches it away from him just like that. That's positively evil.

And Another

Happy Birthday, Jamy!

Don Knotts, TV's Lovable Nerd, Dies at 81

RIP, Mr. Limpet. You truly were incredible.

Sports Roundup!

What's this I hear about Joe Montana's wife being indicted for betting on sports while winning a gold medal in the dunk contest by jumping over Spud Webb?

Stay tuned to this spot next month for another DVX Sports Roundup!

Okay, fine.

The cable modem issue did, in fact, resolve itself. Like, an hour or so before the tech was supposed to show up.

I'll never question tech support again. Well, unless they fuck up royally.

Announcement

I'm without internet on the homefront until sometime early Saturday*. Consequently, I will not be able to reply to any emails that are sent after business hours. (Which, for me, is usually after 6 or 6:30pm.)

All other lines of communication are open, savages.

*"Unless the problem resolves itself." I love tech support.

Another Year, Ya Lucky Bastard

Grand and happy birthday wishes to Dr. C. Enjoy yourself!

-Archbishop Vega$

I Love You, Egg

Go here, please. Then click on the "Egg Song" in the upper right corner.

That is all.

When the blogging slows down to a trickle, there's really no point in trying to fill in all the gaps between posts. Trying to remember it all is often pointless (for me, anyway, since years of sleep deprivation has fried my memory) and it is even worse when there is little to report. I'm going through the latter.

Not entirely true, of course. I went north last Wednesday afternoon to spend a nice long weekend with EF, coming back by train today. I could let rip with a bilious rant about Amtrak, but I'm already over it. That thing is never on time when making the return trip (going north is always on time or close to it), and not only is it late, but it's late by hours and hours. It's a good thing I was able to sleep through most of it, or I would have been seething.

The trip was nice and relaxing, as long weekends tend to be. Highlights include:

-Exchanging Valentine's gifts on my first night there.

-Spending quality time with EF and her mother.

-EF and I going into Pittsburgh a couple of times so that I could indulge my record store addiction. We hit Eide's Entertainment and Dave's Music Mine, where I went on a nice little buying binge like I haven't done in quite a while. I picked up The Essential Fishbone and two Prince discs from the latter (Come and The Love Symbol album, or "O(+>" as it is shown on iTunes), while grabbing Zatokrev's self-titled disc, SunnO)))'s Black One, Destroy Erase Improve by Meshuggah, Torture Killer's Swarm, and a tribute to the Melvins called We Reach, which features a number of metal's bigger names (Isis, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Mastodon, High On Fire, Pig Destroyer, etc.) at Eide's. I hope to hit Brave New World the next time I go to visit. I'm ripping all of the into the iPod as I type this. If I manage to find a spark for writing any time soon, more about this music and much more could be found on my music blog.

-Had a great dinner with EF, her cousin and his wife at DeNunzio's in Latrobe.

-Meeting up with a couple of friends of theirs after dinner for drinks at a private club near where EF lives. $0.80 drafts! Cheap booze on all levels.

-Brief text fun with The Driz on Saturday afternoon.

-Getting EF hooked on Guitar Hero (on the few times we were in the house long enough to actually sit down and veg).

And that's about it. Now I'm home, wishing I was still up in PA, and not at all wanting to go to work tomorrow. Same as always, eh?

Inane, Sexist Question Inspired By The Olympics

Do female hockey players get in as many fights as their male counterparts? And if so, is it as hilarious as I imagine it?

Thank you, Torino!

ZZZZZ...

You ever have that somnambulist feeling? Do you...you feel like I do?

I haven't been feeling the blog thing lately. Usually, I'll go through periods of non-blogging but still make mental notes of things I'd like to write about, hoping that enough material would pile up and force me to write something here. Sometimes it happens; most often, it does not. Of course, considering that most of the fodder for my blog is personal experiences and work has managed to limit that lately, the saturation point that triggers blog-writing has not really been approached.

Beyond the work thing (which is actually, finally, honestly approaching the point of being manageable), I haven't even been thinking about blogging much, with the exception of a piece that is half-formed in my mind about recent unique gaming experiences (covering three titles in particular: Indigo Prophecy, Shadow of the Colossus, and Guitar Hero) and the slow trickle of titles that are trying to move beyond or at least expand upon traditional game forms. But, as is usual when an idea occurs to me, I find myself unable to get beyond the note gathering phase and actually hammer something out. It's a combination of factors, most boring and predictable, so there's no need to elaborate.

I can tell you that things have not been completely devoid of social activity. I've returned to the gym after a lapse in attendance; EF came down for a long weekend a couple of weeks ago, and I've managed to hang out with The Drizzle (new nickname pending) the last couple of weekends (football and beer!), with Mr. O on board last night. I've also returned to my favorite bakery a couple of times the last few weeks. Honestly, folks, if you happen to be near one of their locations any time soon, I suggest you swing by and pick yourself up some Pesto Asiago or Cinnamon Swirl bread (or both; who says indecision is bad?).

I've also been spending way too much time ripping my music collection into one of Xmas gifts. It's been a great chance to listen to stuff I haven't pulled off the shelf in ages. At the same time, it's only three weeks into the new year and I already feel behind new music. One notable exception: the new release from Pearls and Brass, who will be playing in DC in March at DC 9. (Another good show coming in March for all you noiseniks is Whitehouse with Pig Destroyer, and Wolf Eyes. Um, bring earplugs. Tinnitus can be a bitch.)

The next couple of weeks will see the Super Bowl happening, as well as hitting Fado for some Six Nations Rugby action. I'll also be heading back to PA to see EF. I'm sure other plans will materialize, but that's all that's on the radar at the moment.

This would be even cooler if they were also developing an R2 unit to fix the thing when it went on the fritz.

The Year In Monkeys!

Actual Quote

Unfortunately, I was unable to get the butter stains out of my shorts.

That's It?

It's been quiet, as always, around these parts. The holidays, as well as 2005 itself, have come and gone and with them, some new perspectives, inspirations, and aspirations have been gained. Plus, I now have a subscription to Sheep! (Thanks, Driz. I'm sure I'm now on Homeland Security's watch list.) So I got that going for me.

Christmas was spent with the family, and it was quite a wonderful time, up until the call on Christmas evening informing my mother that she had lost another sibling. My uncle's passing was unexpected and gave a bleak ending to what was an otherwise great holiday weekend. I hadn't seen this uncle since my grandmother's funeral about eight years ago, and that was the only time I'd seen him since I entered adulthood. I didn't know him that well, so I didn't have a strong reaction to the news. Honestly, my thoughts have been more on my mother since finding out. The good thing is that, even though I haven't seen him in nearly a decade, he had actually been in contact with my mother semi-regularly the last year or so. She had actually spoken to him the week before, and she's glad she got to tell him she loved him when she did. Not everyone is that lucky.

On a more upbeat note, I did get a nice digital camera, and managed to take some pictures with it. They're not the best quality (still haven't sat down with it to find out what it's capable of), but they'll do. For instance, here are two of my niece and nephew.



My niece in a rare calm moment. (Mit Pooh!)



My niece turning around to push her brother out of her picture. She is such a spotlight hog.

The New Year was spent in the company of EF, who flew down on Friday night. We cabbed back to my place, did the gift exchange (no, that's not a euphemism), had a delicious late dinner at Afterwords, then basically came back and crashed. We slept in on New Year's eve, grabbing a late lunch, then some relaxing before we decide to go the Black Cat for their New Year's Eve Ball. You know, in all of my years of living in the D.C. area, I've never been to the NYE celebration featuring Peaches O'Dell and Her Orchestra at the Black Cat. And, this year was no different.

See, what ha' happened was, we went, and we bought tickets, but it was early.

Me: She's doing four sets, plus there's some DJ action on the backstage. Since it's early, why don't we get a drink first?
EF: Okay.

So we went to the Red Room, got ourselves a couple of drinks, and soon after a couple of stools. And, well, we just drank and had a good time. It was great to be there, since I haven't been there since my birthday celebration back in September. And EF and I were having such a good time that going to check out the music seemed unnecessary.

Here are some photos of the evening (linked instead of put into the post for space purposes):

EF at the bar.
People in costume!
Bunnyhead!
Gingerbread! (Notice the bunny ears in the frame. Bunnyhead got all up in my grill.)

At some point, we decided to pack it in. While settling up, I offered one last chance to justify the ticket purchase, but I think we were a bit too to' up, and the fresh air was more inviting. So we left.



From the walk home. Fortunately, even in her inebriated state, EF was able to talk me out of Yum's. However, she did not deter me from fresh donuts at 7-11. Success!

And that is that. Happy New Year, bitches.

Nothing Can Just Be Funny Anymore

So, I saw that Chronic of Narnia rap in CO's Del.icio.us list. (Lord knows I don't really watch SNL any more.) Then I saw this and this. (Oh, and don't forget this. Merchandise!)

Jesus.

That Aaron Burr line does own, though.

All PA, All The Time


Finally.

I won't really get into the usual excuse making. Blame my job, laziness, fatigue, indifference, or whatever tickles your fancy. Be creative. "He just escaped from a parallel universe where people throw ducks at balloons and nothing is what it seems." That sort of thing.

The problem with delayed blogging is that details become hazy, especially when sleep deprivation already wreaks havoc with short-term memory. So, as best as I can remember, this is what happened during the last two weekends, both involving trips to Pennsylvania.

PA Trip #1: Monongahela

I took a few days off from work to go stay with EF. I went up on Wednesday, the 7th, via our country's reliable railroad system. The trip up was very uneventful, involving sleep and more sleep. I tried to get some hot wi-fi action going up in the mountains, but it was a pointless endeavor.

I got to the Connellsville, PA "station" around 10pm. I suppose all stops that aren't actual stations are like this, but this was like a Fotomat beside some train tracks. Ridiculous. I was met by EF's mother, making this one of the strangest first meetings with a parent I've had. Only more ludicrous was the time I met my second girlfriend's mother while she was getting her grind on with two men on a dancefloor in Youngstown, Ohio. But that never happened.

The drive back to the spot wasn't awkward at all, which immediately set the tone for the rest of the weekend. About a half hour later, we reached the house, which was lit up tastefully for the season, and unloaded my bags. I had myself a tasty beverage and we talked and waited for EF to get home from work. EF showed up about thirty minutes later and we had a late dinner, which included a wonderful potato soup. Now that's the reason for the season!

The unfortunate thing about this trip is that EF had to work every day that I was there, so we didn't get to hang out as much as I would have liked. Thursday, I went into town with her when she went to work and I spent most of my day window shopping and reading/nodding off in a book store, with a nice quick lunch together somewhere in between. I also went to the movies that night, marking the first time I've been in a theater since The Aristocrats. I saw Aeon Flux, which, judging by what I saw when I was awake, was a decent action flick.

Friday, I just chilled out in the house, getting more sleep and recovering from the slight cold I woke up with on Wednesday morning. With all the snow that fell the night before, I definitely enjoyed the chance to just be warm for most of the day. That night, EF and I went into town for a nice little dinner.

Saturday was spent hanging with EF's mother and Bailey, the most energetic rat terrier in the world.



That's him in one of the rare, still moments on my lap. Normally, every second we were in the same room together, he would try to jump up on me. And then, when I'd sit down on the couch, he'd hop up there and try to go to town on my arm. I knew switching to the dog hormone body wash was a mistake. Anyway, that night, all three of us went out for a quick meal and inadvertantly wound up on the set of one of The Drizzle's movies, as we were surrounded by the attendees of the local junior high winter formal in the restaurant. I capped off that evening rather embarassingly, as EF made me tell her mother The Worst Joke In The World. (I've only told the Driz this one, and I won't repeat it here. What made telling this joke even more awful is that EF's mother works for children's services. Comedy!)

Sunday was another day in town killing time while EF worked. Sunday is also football day. So, I grabbed a spot at the bar of The Roxy Cafe and watched the Steelers/Bears game. (Alan Faneca fans everywhere!) I also proceeded to get lit up real proper-like, which made the rest of the day comedic as I tried to stay awake. What can I say, I got caught up in the drama of the dismantling of Baby Admiral and the Bears. That night, we had another very late dinner downtown and did not manage to get home until midnight. That's not too bad until you consider that I had to be awake at 4:30am to catch a 5:55am train in Connellsville.

Sadly, this train ride was not as uneventful as the first. We got there with about 20 minutes to go and waited. And waited. And waited. EF slept a little while I continued to play the waiting game. When 7am rolled around, I decided to find out what the heck was going on. So I fired up the laptop and went to the Amtrak site. A three hour and change delay. Well, that sucks. And now it's starting to snow/sleet some more. We decide to drive all the way back, though EF considered just getting a hotel room nearby just so we didn't have to go all the way back to her house. In retrospect, that would have been smarter, but I somehow reasoned with her that it would be better to go back home. So we went back, napped a little, then woke up to check the schedule. The train has lost another hour in transit, but could "make up time" between stations. Right. Still, we decide to leave a little early, just in case Amtrak manages to pull it off. Fast forward to when I actually board the train: almost 11:30am. Amazingly, we managed to lose another hour on the ride down, getting me home at 6:30pm, instead of the noon arrival I was hoping for. On the plus side, I did get to spend a few more hours with EF, so it wasn't that bad. All told, I had a really good time, despite not doing much outside of the house. Obviously, I'll be going back again. Next time, I will try to make it during a weekend where she has some time off and it's nicer outside.


PA Trip #2: Harrisburg

I made a return to the mighty Keystone state this past weekend, this time as a celebration of The Drizzle's XXXI-st birfday. The guilty parties on this trip were: me, CO, JW, and The Driz.

Things kicked off the night before, actually, with a pre-holiday gathering at Chez O, with Mr. and Mrs. CO hosting The Driz and me for a night of MST3K, gift giving, and fried chicken. Lots and lots of fried chicken. Strangely, Friday night seems to be fried chicken night down in Alexandria, as there was a substantial line inside the restaurant as well as in the drive through when The Driz and I tried to pick up vittles. But, we were undeterred and declared victory some twenty minutes later (having waited in line that long) and made our way to Los O's House of Love. The evening was quite nice, with much chicken consumed, much laughter, and a little bit of homespun comedy...

While flipping through channels, I made Mrs. O stop on the awful Mark Linn-Baker/Melanie Griffith vehicle, Twins. (Well, it's probably more a Sara Gilbert vehicle, but that's not as funny to say.) During the brutal scene, Mr. Linn-Baker makes a funny with "Toblerone" in the punchline. Toblerone, as it turns out, makes Mr. O laugh every time he hears the word. A minute later, Ms. Griffith is on the screen, and we start to debate her beauty (or lack thereof). I said something to the effect that she's "one facelift away from being Madame. This led Mr. O to declare that the name "Madame Toblerone" was comedy gold. We even defined who Madame Toblerone is: she's the woman in the bar/club who is clearly too old to be there.

The next day, The Driz picked me up at the King Street Metro station in the early afternoon, after which we picked up Mr. O, bag full of chicken in hand. We hit the road and basically nattered on about this and that, eating some of our leftovers on the way. We stopped for fueling of the auto and personal variety in Gettysburg. While we're sitting in the parking lot of Giant, I decide to fetch the soda I had in my bag in the trunk. Without thinking, I started to open it up, sending forth a nearly fatal spray of Dr. Pepper. Fortunately, I was able to tighten the cap on my drunk-ripened soda quick enough to avoid true catastrophe, and the bulk of the overflow went into my donut bag.

From there, we rolled out of Gettysburg to pick up JW, and finally reached the hotel in Harrisburg around 6:30. After some settling in, we make our way to the first stop of the night, Molly Branigan's. That's a nice little place, with decent food and an atmosphere very conducive to conversation and socializing. We had dinner and a couple of drinks before departing, catching up with JW, whom we had not seen since...well, honestly, I don't remember. But it was a loooong time ago.

From there, we hit The Hardware Bar, Harrisburg's finest tribute to Coyote Ugly. That was a good time. We got there before the place was packed and were able to secure a nice spot in the balcony. We hit it just in time to take full advantage of the happy hour, too. And take advantage we did. Beer after beer seemed to hit the table, leaving us nice and lubricated when the crappy cover band started playing. To amuse myself (and CO, to some extent), I began to make requests that the band would never play in a million years, like pieces by Coltrane, The Mahavishnu Orchestra, and Louis Armstrong. Additionally, I danced like a meth-addled lunatic and played terrific air guitar during their take on Guns 'N Roses. Oh, and before I forget, the Madame Toblerone of the evening made her way to our table to chat one of us up. I won't use names. Try to guess which one; I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Many hours and beers later, we left and went to The Saloon. Not much happened there, except this:



That's a mirrorful of ketchup right there, courtesy of CO. Because, what else are you going to do with a giant mirror and a squeeze bottle of ketchup in your hand.

After tiring of The Saloon, we moseyed across the street to The Spot (I think that's what it was called) to get some foodstuffs. On the way out of The Saloon, it should be noted, I grabbed a handful of peanuts and stuffed them in my pocket. JW also grabbed a handful, giving me some for my nut stash. For some reason known only by the beer demons and my own budding insanity, I started to talk loudly in the creepy, pedophilic old man from Family Guy voice. "I gots a pocket full of peanuts. Who wants some?" And, etc. This amused me and countless others, or so my memory would have me believe. I do think I alarmed a couple of people, and I'm sure the chef at the diner teabagged my hot dog, but that's life.

The next morning was typical after such a night, a tight, banged-up feeling. Now with 10% more headache! Fortuntely, this went away when we hit Hoss's on the way back. The rest of Sunday was spent watching football (Go Chargers! Legacy!) and trying to catch up on sleep.

A fine couple of weekends, I'd say. And more to come.

So, have you seen that "Hamster Dance" site?

The latest in things on the internet that amuse me that has probably been amusing everybody else for months.

Two From PA



I took this after leaving the movie theater yesterday, using the camera phone. (I saw Aeon Flux, but fell asleep for about a half hour during the movies first half, missing some key plot points. Subsequently, I cannot tell you if it was good or not.) That's a real tree, but it looks oddly fake, due mostly to the quality of the camera, I'm sure.



This is an Antwan Randle-El onesie. Lordy. Though, I admit, I wouldn't mind dressing a future Little Vegas in a Marino onesie. I would have also taken a picture of a Dan Kreider jersey for CO, but I couldn't get a good shot of it with the camera. Foiled!

World's First Musical Sammich

They have been working on this for decades; the first one killed Mama Cass.

Quick Wrap Up

Friday: Worked until 9 at night (making it the second night in a row I had to do that), much to my chagrin. So enraging. Nearly put my head through my monitor at work. (Seriously) Especially difficult because I had plans for that evening (drinks with The Drizzle) to which I was looking forward. The Driz agreed to come into the city to pick me up so I wouldn't have to deal with the Metro ride down. When I got home, I discovered that the old (ooooold) laptop was not functioning properly. It was also making a horrible, horrible sound. To be dealt with later. I did manage to have many beers with The Driz while we played catch up. We also chatted up our usual waitress quite a bit that evening. Plus, I played text-message tag with "AF" from work.

Saturday: Laptop is completely dead. This was the backup to the computer that crapped out in September that I have been too lazy (and overwhelmed with work) to properly fix. So, I did something I was planning on doing eventually: I bought a new laptop. Now, I didn't go all out, because I am also going to be buying a rather high-end workstation very soon. (Within the next month; I have the cash, but I would rather put it off until after the holidays.) Buying the new laptop took up most of my day, what with running around the city, going to stores to see what was available and doing comparisons. Normally, I would have just done online, but, well, that one is self-explanatory. Irony! But, I'm really enjoying this new machine.

Sunday: Sloth. Video games. Laundry. And, of course, football. I can't believe the Dolphins pulled that out. Sage! Unfortunately, the Steelers lost a tough one to the Bengals. I usually wouldn't care, but because EF is a Steelers fan, I'm a bit obligated to not hate on them as much.

And speaking of EF, I wil be leaving on Wednesday to go see her. I'll be back next Monday. Not that I have been doing much blogging, but now there will be an excuse for no posts next week. But I shouldn't get ahead of myself. I still have Monday and Tuesday to reckon with. I'm hoping that my visible rage on Friday will buy me a bit of a break, but I doubt it.

Thank Deez
A Holiday Wish and Two New Letters

Just a brief message before I head out into the cold to make my way toward Big Lou's place, where I'll be gorging myself on all things traditional or Filipino. Recognize, bitches.

I'd like to take this opportunity, in the spirit of the holiday, to say a bit of thanks. I'll try to keep it as serious as possible. I hope you all appreciate the effort that takes.

Most importantly, I'm thankful for having my family close by and still going strong. I'm particularly thankful that my brother-in-law seems to be doing well after his second surgery. His recovery will be long and arduous, I'm sure, but he will recover.

I'm thankful for being employed. I'm not very enamored with my job (duh) or its increasing impact on my schedule, but I do appreciate the fact that I've got a steady income that is actually helping me accomplish things, slowly but surely.

I'm thankful for my friends. Whenever I get to that state where I'm wishing mass harm on everyone and everything within a 20 mile radius of me, I remember that there are actually some good and decent people out there, some with whom I've actually managed to become friends. Funny, supportive, inspiring, intelligent, and reliable, the lot of ya. I'd continue, but I've already compromised my reputation enough as it is. *pounds chest* Got ya'll in here.

I'm thankful for this blog bringing a couple of new people across my path, as well as helping keep a dear friend closer than geography permits. It will never land me a book deal, it will never be one of those hip blogs with a million bloggers linked to it, but this blog serves my purposes just fine.

And speaking of technology and friends, I'll wrap this up by saying I'm also thankful for EF, aka "My Boo." (tee-hee) Yes, I know. Who? Once again (some of you may remember MC), the internerd pays off. I hadn't mentioned anything previously because there wasn't much to say until recently. All I'll say is that things are very good, even though there is, as with everything it seems, an obstacle. But it hasn't been much of one so far. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

I'm sure I could rattle off a few more reasons to be thankful, but I'm keeping Big Lou waiting. Happy Thanksgiving, people. Stay safe, stay warm, and stay full.

-The Management

On The Job

I'm still at work, which is pretty typical these days. Because it's been forever since I've blogged, I actually miss doing it, even though there were much larger gaps back in the day.

Same old story, of course: hours worked are too long, and when I get home, I don't feel like doing much of anything that requires my brain. Naturally, that means vidja games and pr0n (and the gym, when I'm home early enough), a winning combination. I have learned two important things from this: 1) Fable actually is overrated, but still a fun game. 2) Nick Manning's "I'm dropping loads" line is the most hilarious thing in adult film since Jonathan Morgan's heyday.

The holidays are approaching, which is nice, but I already feel like I don't have enough time for them. I'm going to be in town for Thanksgiving weekend (I'm having dinner at Big Lou's), so if anybody is around, I'm down for whatever. I should probably use that time a bit constructively, but you know me. I'll blow it all on penny whistles and moon pies. Or, better yet, maybe I'll actually watch my Netflix movies, which have a fine layer of dust on top of them.

A sports aside: can the Hawks be any shittier? It's outrageous. This is not a good year for my favorite professional sports franchises. Perhaps I should start learning myself some hockey. Ovechkin!

That's all.* My brain is starting to shut down, and I'd really just like to get out of here. And so I shall. Peace, god. One.





(*That's not really all, but other news is not blog-appropriate.)

Swiftian!

"Doesn't every girl deserve liberation through Web site branding of her sexuality?"

In a word: yes.

(This is why I stick with pr0n of the non-alt variety.)

Running Down

The days are starting to bleed into one another. Work has swallowed up my daylight, leaving me disoriented and having only enough energy to eat and get to and from work (and hit the gym, if I manage to get out of work early enough). From an unhappiness standpoint, it's not even close to the level reached just two months ago. It's just grinding.

Pile on top of that a couple of ailments the last two weeks (general sickness, plus a horrible backache) that have also neutered few attempts at enjoying life outside of work (missed concerts and happy hours), and it's enough to make me want to pull up stakes and blow out of town.

But, you know, I won't. Not yet, anyway. Right now, it's about handling my business and keeping focus on larger matters that go beyond work. It's also about getting my creative juices flowing again; worse than the way it wrecks my sleep and social schedules, this grind is completely obliterating any attempts at creativity.

In short, I need recharging. I think it's time to plot myself a little vacation. We'll see how that goes.

In the meantime, I've got a three day weekend to sit on. Concerned citizens should abandon all hope of contact for the next seventy-two hours. I'm deep cover.

Everybody Loves Bob Pollard

I signed up (and failed...like a few of my friends) for NaNoWriMo last year. Honestly, if I had the means, I'd try this next month. I mean, how could something I put together in a month be any less legitimate than the entire Joanna Newsom discography? (Awww, I'm such a hater.)

***

South Side! Congratulations to the 2005 champions of Major League Baseball, the Chicago White Sox!

***

Now that this whole baseball nonsense is over, can we please concentrate on real sports? Jesus.

***

Go Hawks! Marvin Williams for Rookie of the Year!

***

Why Not Rosenfels? You know, that's what I've been saying all along.


In all seriousness...that was a truly excellent World Series. Any time the lesser Sox and the Yankees are at home with their thumbs up their asses instead of getting media reacharounds and worthless inches of newspaper ink is okay by me, but this was actually a great series, low ratings be damned. I don't really care about all of the "this is the way the game is supposed to be played" rhapsodizing that's happening, as it did when the Pats won the Super Bowl and the Spurs won the NBA championship, because I don't have as big a gripe with modern sports as most people do. However, I'll never have a problem when "underdogs" (which, if examined closely, really shouldn't be applied to the White Sox, since they went wire to wire) grab the spotlight.

***

Who's ready for some sweet Halloween action? This guy is. The champ is here, y'all...

Today's Question

...comes from D. Vega$ in Washington, D.C. He writes, "Who the fuck is Cleo Lemon?"

(On the plus side, A.J. Feeley is finally a thing of the past. Again, I have to ask: Can we get The Ultimate Sage Rosenfels Experience on the field?)

Also: bro-in-law finally had his surgery. Everything seems to be right as rain. He'll have to undergo some radiation treatment, and it will likely take months to get back to "normal", but the worst seems to be behind him. Thank you, well wishers.

Thangs and stuff and stuff and thangs....and stuff

-I didn't mention this before, but my brother-in-law did not undergo surgery a couple of weeks ago. Not due to a miraculous recovery, but because they found something else. So they had to postpone so they could run more tests. Surgery will be taking place tomorrow (Tuesday, 10/18). I'm really feeling for my sister. I talked to her tonight and she sounded so tired, which I know she is, since she's juggling school and work and the kids and the looming spectre of her husband's surgery. But the sound of her voice just made me so sad. I think she's barely holding it together, but I know she will keep it together. She's tough like that.

-South Side! (Congrats to the White Sox and their loyal fans.)

-Can Sage Rosenfels get a start? I mean, c'mon.

-I'm a bit put off by the voice they're using for Huey in The Boondocks animated series coming to Adult Swim. I know he's a kid, but when I read the strips, I never hear a kid's voice. I always hear a late teens/early twenties voice, for some reason. I had the same problem when they made that awful Dilbert series. Wally is not supposed to sound like that. Unlike that series, however, I can see myself sticking it out with The Boondocks. I think McGruder's humor will translate to television much better than Adams' did.

-NBA season is almost here. I was going to say "Go Hawks!" as I'm enthusiastic about the team this year, especially with the additions of Joe Johnson, Marvin Williams, and Salim Stoudamire. But then I just read this. That's a shame. RIP, JC.

-Perverted leprechaun or luchador magnifico? When a decision like that needs to be made, you know it must be Halloween.

I can't believe that I'm just now finding this out:

RIP, Nipsy.

America has lost its one true poet laureate. As it turns out, October is the cruelest month.

(Not really. Yankees and Red Sox out of the playoffs? Christmas came early! I can only hope this triggers an end to the hordes of nouveau Sox fans. Now all that's left is for the Patriots to suffer the same demise.)

And because of the company I keep, and because Chicago is the shiznite (and because the A's were unable to seal the deal for the second straight year), I shall also pull for the White Sox. South Side!

You Call This A Comeback?

So...whassup?

This week has been a million thousand hundred lot better than last week. Many thanks go out to the people who contacted me with encouraging and supportive words. French pickles for the rest of you odiodores. (I keed.)

It's really been a nothing week, with the exception of last night, when I got together with The Drizzle for beers at Whitlow's. I got to catch up on all of the goings on with The Driz, have some really cheap beer, and make fun of les canards. As always, a good time was had. Otherwise, it's been work and sleep and media therapy. I'm rotating between Sid Meier's Pirates!, La Pucelle: Tactics, and Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves. (And yes, Dr. C, I look fetching in the 3D Raccoon glasses. But then, I look fetching in most anything, except for spandex. Now e'ybody has to deal with that picture. Ha!) The Sly game is lots of fun and, once I'm done, I think I will finally finish the piece I was writing on the series, which is one of my favorites. As for Pirates, I never played the original, so I cannot make any comparisons, but this one has delivered in the gameplay department, despite its repetitive nature. I usually have no interest in games of this kind, but it got its hooks into me. La Pucelle, I've played the least, but that has more to do with the other games than with its own qualities.

One funny thing re: work. Yesterday, as we do every week, my co-worker and I were collecting the money from the soda machines. So, as I'm opening the machine on the ninth floor, my buddy spots something on top of the machine and grabs it. It's a blue plastic bag from Capitol Video Sales, a local movie rental chain. Like most of your non-Blockbuster stores, Capitol Video has a "back room" for mature audiences. ("Everyone's hugging!") Immediately, I knew that there would be something of the pornographic variety in the bag. I was, of course, right. But it was more than expected. Inside was a magazine (Club), a vibrator (purple and bumpy), and the piece de resistance, a fake pussy! I forget after which porn star it was allegedly molded. We contemplated splitting the booty (tee-hee), but realized how disgusting that would be. Especially since a) there were pages missing from the magazine, meaning it was used and b) it was probably used at the same time as the vibrator and pseudo-snatch. (Aside: having typed that, I just had the George Carlin exclamation "Snatch-o-rama!" buzz through my brain.) So it became junk.

And that's been about it. Today was my bro-in-law's surgery, but I have not heard anything from the family yet.

One last word: good luck to Mrs. O as she runs the Portland Marathon this weekend.

Media Binge

Spent way too much money tonight, all on the usual suspects (games, movies, music). The highlight for me is the latest in the Sly Cooper series (PS2), Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves. (ES, as soon as I'm done, you can borrow it.) Also picked up the latest discs from a couple of today's hard-prog acts, Coheed & Cambria and Cave-In. Was inspired to grab the C&C after reading some recent reviews; I was already a fan of Cave-In. I should have picked up the latest from Opeth, then I would have had all my prog-nerd ducks in a row. People please, if you call yourself a friend, stop me if I ever reach for a Rush album in your presence.

Of salesmen,
DV$

All The Rage

Little known fact: one of the things of which I'm most proud is my ability, brought on by "maturity", I suppose, to properly channel my anger. These days, I'm more apt to play at being enraged by something absurd (like Norm Chow's playcalling) than to be truly engulfed by blinding hatred for anything. The episodes of anger and the (occasional) accompanying violence have receded into the past, part of what I was, not who I am.

Well, mostly.

This week has topped last week in terms of colossal work-related shittiness. The high (low?) point was when I within two feet of being out of my job for good. I'd thrown my ID down on the assistant boss' office floor, told her I quit, grabbed my bag, and headed for the exit. Had she not asked me to please stop (and I'm not sure why I did) and I had made it out the door, my resolve would have carried me out of there forever. On the plus side, when I turned around, I was still engulfed with rage enough to (again) punch a wall. Congratulations to me, I finally drew blood. A nice visual for the movie I'll never produce: a seething employee, bloody-knuckled, sitting in his boss' office, while said boss impotently tries to calm things down.

Heh.

This week has re-opened many feelings I have not felt in years. It's like the old anger, the premium rage, has roared to the surface. I'm not sure I've had so many thoughts of intense destruction in my entire life as I have this week. I'm not really interested in causing people (other than myself, apparently) any physical harm, but I do really feel like taking chairs and throwing them through windows. Or maybe jacking one of the laundry trucks and driving it through the lobby entrance.

You know, I'm just saying.

I'm not proud of this, by the by, even though I'm sure it seems like it. It is what it is, and it will pass. In the meantime, I'll manage it without doing anybody harm. And my life, outside of the hours I spend at work, is good, if uneventful. I just need to restore some balance to it. And get a new fucking job. But that goes without saying, eh?

Consequently, I'm going to be laying low in terms of social activity for a while. I just need to withdraw a bit, so I can re-emerge (hopefully) energized.

In other news, my brother-in-law is having his surgery this coming week. If you've got any spare positive thoughts/vibes/paryers, please send them his way. He needs it, my sister needs it, their kids need it. So please, help a brutha out.

Two-fer Tuesday

Happy Anniversary, Los Os

and...

Happy Birthday, GC!

It's a celebration, bitches...

Last Man Standing

Well, this week finished much better than it started. After a particularly foul week at work that pushed me to my limits of office supply-throwing rage, the weekend was a grand success.

Friday was the worst day, work-wise, and convinced me that going into work on Saturday was a sucker move. After work, I came home and relaxed a bit, then went shopping. Being a good little consumer always makes me feel better. One purchase was Sid Meier's Pirates, which is good, addictive fun. I can't say how it compares to the original, but I'm certainly enjoying it thoroughly right now.

I came home and popped in one of my Netflix movies, The Life Aquatic, which I enjoyed. Having made the decision to not go into work, I stayed up a lot longer than I expected, torn between thumb-jockeying on the PS2 and listening to new music, including the latest from The New Pornographers, Twin Cinema, which is excellent, if not as immediately catchy as Electric Version.

Saturday, I woke up early, finished Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow, the second installment in the fine series, then did some cleaning. Bathroom, vacuuming, and a lot of paper shredding. The place feels so different after a decent, if severely incomplete, cleaning. Since I woke up late, this all finished up sometime around 4:30, with no eating to speak of. Which is fine, since the first destination of the evening was Shula's Steakhouse. A shower and a trip to CVS later, I'm ready to head out the door to make the six o'clock reservations at the Don's.

I arrive at the restaurant, which is in the Wyndham City Center, and wait outside, assuming that, since I was almost a half-hour early, I had beaten The Entourage (that's JG and Los Os) there. So I waited around outside until it was nearly six, then decided that I'd just go inside, where, as it turns out, they were having drinks at the bar. Go me! I'm so smart. Within minutes, we are taken to our table in a room that is completely empty. Taking advantage of the situation, JG sounds off with a louder-than-expected "deez nutz!" That pretty much set the tone for the evening.

Dinner was, as it always is at Shula's, fantastic. Food details are, for the most part, boring, so I won't bog down this wee narrative with them. I will say that if you eat there, you simply must have the barbecue shrimp. It's shrimp, stuffed with basil, wrapped in bacon, and dipped in barbecue sauce. After dinner, we piled into The Os car and drove to The Black Cat, arriving around a quarter of nine. We positioned ourselves, as we always do, at the end of the Red Room bar, near the Backstage. And the drinking begins. I have to say, I felt ready to throw in the towel, as I was still in a beef coma. As it turns out, so was everybody else. Eventually, a couple more stools opened up and we could all sit. (To that point, Mr. O and I were standing.) Unfortunately, there were a couple of people dividing our group. Mrs. O and JG were in the corner talking, while Mr. O and I were sitting diagonally from them on the other side of the bar.

CO and I are talking and drinking when I suddenly get a tap on the shoulder. It's Jamy. With quick, across the bar greetings, followed soon by actual mingling, the energy starts to pick up. Also, by that point, I'm nearly out of the food coma. A short while later, ES and her boyfriend show up, and the group is pretty much complete. There was a possibility that a few more people would show up, but due to the work week, I wasn't able to coordinate any firm plans with them.

With our party all present and accounted for, I'm ready to do some quality drinking. And I am. But sooner than expected, the steak sweats have finally defeated Mr. O. Mrs. O and JG are waving the white flag, too. So they settle up and depart. While I do wish they could have stayed longer, I certainly know how they were feeling, and they did so much to make the day great already, I wasn't upset that they had to bail earlier than expected.

Now it's just me, Jamy, ES and James (her bf). We take over the corner and basically just chat and drink. ES, due to an illness, is not drinking (much...she does have on mixed drink and a shot). Jamy, after a couple of drinks and a short night of sleep, is fading fast. So really, it's James and I doing the drinking. Not unexpectedly, Jamy takes leave of the party, which is good. Because falling asleep is pretty dangerous in that corner. Like that one time I passed out, and I woke up with my pants...oh wait. Nevermind.

Jamy leaves, and shortly after, James takes ill and he leaves. So ES and I basically hold it down for probably another thirty or forty-five minutes, leaving sometime after midnight. She walked back to my spot with me, which served two purposes: it kept me entertained, and it also kept me from stopping at Yum's. Thank goodness for that girl. Though, it wouldn't have mattered, because Yum's didn't smell as delicious as it usually does at that time of night.

And that was that. Lots of friends, lots of steak, lots of beer. I couldn't ask for more on a birthday. It completely wiped clean the vitriol from the previous work week. Let's hope that the good vibes from the weekend carry into this week.

To everyone who came out, my deepest and sincerest thanks. You made it a great, great time. And for the well-wishers, I wish you could have been there.

Enraging. I had a double post, and for some reason, I could not delete the duplicate. So I've edited to the nonsense you're reading right now. Not much different than the nonsense before.

Listmania!
Or, Blogging Like The Lazy Git I Am

-Computer is still down. Because I've been working long crazy hours the last couple of weeks, I've got just enough energy to go to the gym or keep prior engagements. Consequently, no online shopping has been done.

-I spent two hours in the DMV on my day off last Friday. Enraging. Had the WMATA bus schedule not been filled with lies, I would have gotten home a good 45 minutes earlier than I did Thursday night, meaning I would have been up nearly an hour earlier on Friday morning. Who knows how long my wait would have been had I arrived at the DMV an hour earlier. Still, I did have a very nice afternoon with my friend KM, who I had not seen in almost exactly a year, despite the fact that she and her husband had returned to the area back in December.

-I went to see the family Friday night, as it was my birthday on Saturday. Good times all around, with the exception of the bad news I received re: my brother-in-law. Not going to go into the details here, but will say that it is operable and he should make a full recovery. Still, so close (relatively) on the heels of my sister's ABC, it's enough to be overwhelming, especially for their children.

-The ridiculousness of my job will not be ending for at least another week, and may require weekend work to catch up on a few things. It's too much (and too boring) to go into, but I will say that the pictures that the former assistant director here has on my boss simply must be compromising, or else he would never hire the two duds (one since departed) based on her recommendation. Their inability to grasp their work has sent this office backwards. It's just a bit infuriating.

-Wednesday night, I attended the FME show at The Black Cat. I really enjoyed the show, nearly as much as when I saw 2/3rds of FME playing there with the Peter Brotzmann Chicago Tentet back in May. I really wish this area got more shows like this.

-Last night, I met CO for beers and dinner, before joining in the Blogger Madness at Pharaoh's in Adam's Morgan. I definitely enjoyed the change of venue, even though it was dead except for the lively group of bloggers there. I basically talked to Jamy and CO, my usual brand of inanity amplified by the $1 drafts we downed before we got there. Met Velvet In Dupont when she briefly joined our table to talk to Jamy.

-This weekend, beyond possibly going into work on Saturday morning, will be the Birthday Celebration: Friends Edition. Saturday night will be dinner with The Entourage (haven't pulled that out in a while), then drinks and chicanery in the Red Room of The Black Cat. To you random visitors: feel free to stop by and buy me a drink. We'll be at the end of the bar near the Backstage. If you have any trouble identifying me, I'm the drunken asshole.

Well, It Started Off Well

This week started with so much promise. Sunday, spent a good part of the day with CO watching some terrible football. And by terrible, I mean comedic. Switching between the Redskins/Bears game and Steelers/Titans game afforded us ample opportunity to laugh at the inept offenses on display, the Steelers being the lone bright spot in a swirling sea of crappy gridiron madness. Punchouts to Norm Chow and Kyle "Baby Admiral" Orton all around. Then CO and I went to one of the local watering holes to catch the second game. We hung around until halftime, then bailed. The atmosphere was a bit lacking. Anyway, I had a good time, all told, especially with the Dolphins picking up an impressive win over the sorry, no account Broncos. After that game, Mr. O was kind enough to drive me all the way back into the city. That was kind of him.

So I gets home and switch on the computer monitor, ready to log back in for some hot PC action, when I see a screen telling me that the OS was not detected. Well shit. And now Windows won't load. After some helpful email correspondence from GC, a conclusion has been reached that I should replace my hard drive. So I've been using the shitty old laptop this week. Everything is barebones and serviceable, but it really sucks ass, not to put too fine a point on it. Hopefully, I'll be able to get this fixed sooner than later. And

Meanwhile, work has sucked. Today was another punch and throw random things kind of day. That place really turns me into Bob Knight, but not as funny. Fortunately, I'm taking Friday off, plus we're adding to staff, so things should be normalizing soon. Still, I could have ruined that office with my anger today.

Randomly: we have some celebs in-house for a USO event, Wayne Newton, John Elway, and Shaquille O'Neal being the big names. Naturally, I made many jokes about going to Shaq's room and trying to post him up. Now that would have been a real coup. Fuck Ronald McDonald, or whatever the Georgia Tech's center's name is. (I can't believe I forgot.)

Even more funny: someone, presumably another celeb, is checked in using "Tito Puente" as his name. No respect for the dead, I tells ya. I could have called up and given him what for, but that would have probably gotten me fired. Not that I would have cared much after the day I was having. Fortunately, the good times will be rolling soon and next week promises to be a very good one. Good to know that even after this shitty week, I can be optimistic. And I didn't have to hit one person with a brick. I must be mellowing in my old age.

Skeletor told to go fuck himself.

Man-At-Arms pisses himself laughing.

Go Buckeyes!

The Ohio State/Texas game is entering halftime, so it must be time to blog.

I don't know how that works, either.

Finished up a long work week yesterday, with my office in full short-staff mode. That means attitudes are less chipper, hours are a bit longer, and the inanity of what I do for a living is center stage in my thoughts. Surprisingly, I did not withdraw from the work-sponsored outing last night, which was a Nats/Braves game. To be perfectly honest, I'm not interested in hanging out with my co-workers, even the ones with which I am friendly and have a great working relationship. Nothing personal against them, but I hate the overlap between my job and my life and avoid these occurrences. However, after seeing the list of people who signed up for the Friday night game (the hotel also got tickets for this afternoon and tomorrow afternoon), I thought it could be some fun, so I went. Was it fun? Not particularly. It wasn't miserable by any stretch of the imagination, but it certainly did not qualify as fun. The baseball itself was quality, and the stadium had its usual share of eye candy, but it was mostly a forgettable experience. I spent most of the evening talking with a woman who used to work in my department and is really one of my first friends at the hotel. At the end of six, she and I decided to bail. It was interesting: the score was 6-3 (Braves) when we left our seats, 6-4 by the time we reached the stadium parking lot, and 8-6 (Nats) by the time we got out of the cab back at the hotel.

In the midst of all this beisbol, I worked the phone to set up post-game plans. These plans, as is the custom, involved meeting up with CO and JG for beers. So after grabbing my bag from the office, I was dropped off by my co-worker at the Gallery Place metro so I could grab a yellow line down to the Georgetown of Crackerdom: King Street. Bugsy's ahoy! It was a nice way to cap the night, as I finally was able to turn off my work brain and strap in for funny.

Today: woke up and went to Spring Mill Bread Co. in Bethesda, for to buy a couple of loaves of their Pesto Asiago bread. Best. Bread. Ever. After, I stopped in for a bite to eat at California Tortilla. It wasn't bad at all, despite its cheesy, "destined for a strip mall near you" appearance. From there, I brought the bread home, lazed a bit, then headed back out for a trip to Pentagon City, inspired by a coupon I had to use before it expired. Wound up picking up a few cds, including Sleater-Kinney's latest, The Woods. I have heard way too many good things about this album to continue putting it off. We'll see if I've been had soon enough. I also picked up the best of Mick Foley DVD collection, a new pair of shoes for work, and a game, La Pucelle Tactics, because I have been looking for a game in the vein of Final Fantasy Tactics forever and this, along with related title Disgaea, seems to fit the bill.

Now I am home, finishing up laundry and enjoying the second half of the OSU/Texas game. I'm feeling kind of antsy, to tell the truth. Maybe I'll head up to the Black Cat for a beer or two.

Tomorrow: some hot NFL action at Chez O.

Afro Samurai

Manga. TV Series. Movie. Video Game.

I know nothing about Afro Samurai beyond what this article is telling me, but am intrigued because of the man who will be co-producer of the animated mini-series and live-action feature film: Samuel L. Jackson.

"'Afro Samurai' is a visually striking and rich story." said Jeff Lujan, business director at Namco Hometek Inc. "With its gritty and unique mix of hip-hop and samurai styling, 'Afro Samurai' is perfectly suited for video games. We are looking forward to working with GDH in bringing this exciting new property to life."

"Afro Samurai" follows the story of one man’s journey of bloody hardship and pain. After witnessing the cold blooded murder of his father, Afro devotes himself to the path of revenge. He sheds no tears, knows no love and stops at nothing to achieve his goal. Forever chased by powerful enemies in a lawless technology-speckled dystopia, he evades bullets and blades to reach his final prey: a man who will not die...

I assume that The RZA will be involved in the soundtracks to all of these.

One of the best things about where I live right now is that I can walk to work. The morning walk is always a good one (unless it's raining), because it wakes me up and the "sights" in my neighborhood are always top notch.

Sometimes, I get treated to a little extra. For instance, this morning, at the intersection of 19th and Q, I saw a woman get run over by a delivery truck. Well, her foot was run over. You see, what ha' happened was, she was to the right of this truck as it was making a right turn. The truck driver did not see her. The next thing I heard was a loud crunch (that was her bicycle's front wheel, not her foot) and her screaming. Nothing terribly shrill, almost like what you might do if you stubbed your toe, but magnified 100 times. She wasn't a courier, so I was immediately on her side, especially since it seemed to take the driver (who did actually stop, instead of just going on his merry way) forever to hop out to find out what he did. And then he just sort of shrugged it off, saying "I didn't see her". Which is entirely possible, since she was pretty close to the truck and he was riding high. Still, show a little bit more concern, jackass.

At the same time, I kept asking myself, "why didn't she just jump off the bike?" This truck was not speeding, and neither was she. As a matter of fact, they were both going pretty slow, since he was taking his large vehicle into that rather tight turn and she was just hanging back to his right. It was as if she was playing chicken, seeing if the truck would stop and let her go straight. I'm sorry, but that's a fool's gamble in this town, and no bike is worth bodily harm, not even the old-timey ones with the big front wheel. (If she had been riding one of those, the driver surely would have seen her.)

I have no idea what the upshot of this accident was. She was calling someone (the police? her employer?) as I passed by her and the small group of well-meaning gawkers who had assembled. The only thing of which I am certain is that her bike's front tire is completely dead. Better it than her.

Pardon me for a moment...

He's #2!

"The Ultimate Sage Rosenfels Experience" was named the back-up to recently named starter Gus Frerotte, dropping AJ "Waste of a #2 pick" Feeley to the third string. I know this is a bit like being named the most likely to be a mental patient, hillbilly, or chimpanzee, since none of these guys are exactly world-beaters, but I've always liked Sage, even when he was a Redskin. Sure, most of my enjoyment of Mr. Rosenfels is in part due to my always pulling for the Dolphins third-stringer, no matter how ridiculous (I pulled for Druckenmiller and McNown, too). But I do actually like what I've seen from him on the field. Nothing against Gus, but I hope that Sage gets a chance at being a starter at some point.

Blues, Beer, and Foulmouthery

Saturday, while Chief Justices were dying and Ralph Friedgen was mainlining bacon drippings, I did manage to make it to the DC Blues Festival out at the Carter Barron Amphitheatre. I got there in the middle of DeConstance's set. She has a tremendous voice, but did not have a band to match. The place was not even half-filled yet, so I got myself an excellent seat. After they finished up, there was a swift set change and then my main reason for being there took the stage: Candye Kane. Full disclosure: I am not that familiar with her music, having only heard a song or two before. (Though, I am quite familiar with her "early career".) I went because my friend, EMT, has testified to the greatness of a Candye Kane live performance and I had to see it for myself. And you know what? She was dead right. Even though she only had an hour to perform, and the show was not in an intimate club setting, Candye completely worked everyone in attendance. The description of her show as being like "a revival in an adult bookstore parking lot" is spot on. The set was funny, sassy and an all-around good time. And unlike DeConstance, her band was the equal to her singing. Unfortunately, I didn't see any merch for her at the tables, so I'll just have to buy online.

The original plan was to just see Candye, but after reading the bio of Sharrie Williams in the program, I decided to stick around for that, too. Once again, I made the right decision. Like Candye, Sharrie completely worked the crowd and had them eating out of the palm of her hands. The band was tight, too, kicking out some very good soul-blues jams. Definitely worth seeing again if she returns to the area.

I left after that, got home, and then got in touch with JG to make plans for the evening. The plan: let's go see The Aristocrats! We got CO into the fold and made an evening of it, starting and ending with beers at Harry's. The movie was, as expected, hilarious, so overloaded with great lines and images (Fred Willard, anyone?) that it would be ridiculous to try to get them all in here. Just go see it already.

After the movie, as mentioned just a few sentences back, we returned to Harry's and drank on into the night. Lots of fun was had, including wasting the film of some girl who asked me to take a picture of her group. (Unfortunately, she did not take the long way back to get her film, as I was prepared to take another quick shot of the boys, this time in full "deez nutz" mode.) What all was discussed, aside from the movie, is a bit fuzzy, though, I do know we spent a lot of time talking about what songs we'd like to perform karaoke style, including the three of us doing Snoop's "Signs", with CO as Justin Timberlake. Ha! Also, under the influence of beer and the movie, preliminary talk of doing open mic comedy was made, but that will have to wait until we've karaoked.

Today, I veg, after deciding against going to Hoss's. I know I'll regret it soon enough, but that sleep was solid. No complaints here.

Tomorrow, BBQ avec mein familia.

Apache Chief Chief Justice Rehnquist Dies at Home

And now it's time for the panicking hordes to get their freak on.

Once again, I know I'm late to this (we don't have any White Castles in this area). But really, the whole Burger King Chicken Fries thing simply cannot match this on any level. Coq Roq can go suck it. White Castle, fool! What?!

Kill Whitie

How did I miss this? Gee, what a surprise. A bunch of smirking white kids taking refuge in irony while appropriating a culture to which they've never contributed, outside of buying copies of 3 Feet High And Rising and The Low End Theory, which, by the way, are the only albums by non-white artists they own besides Bob Marley's Legend. Didn't hipster irony end when Pavement broke up? And, of course, it started in Williamsburg. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Fuck Williamsburg and their contemptible brand of hipsters. It's because of people like this that I have to constantly read about how great The Arcade Fire and Death Cab For Cutie are. (Hint: they suck.)

Another flier offers free admission to anyone with a bucket of fried chicken.

It's okay, we're being ironic.

"If you don't see it's funny," he said, "I can't help you."

Of course, Mr. Grubstein has "funny" on lock, so if you ain't feelin' it, he ain't tryin' to help ya. You bitches bettah recognize.

Some Saturday Afternoon Absurdity



Local monkey evangelist Rev. Bonkers does a little faith healing.

Helper Monkeys! (Thanks to Dr. C for the find.)

Two bits from last night's drinking with The Drizzle:

"Ronald McDonald can't play no cover two!" (credit: Damian Vega$)

Carl Weathers/Colin Powell in '08! (credit: The Drizzle)

Personally, I'd like to see Hogan/Ventura in '08. A pres/veep tandem that comes to debates in feather boas? Hogan constantly referring to Russert as "Mean Gene"? The National Anthem changed to "Real American"? State of the Union addresses promos that end with "Whatcha gonna do, brother, when Hulkamania runs wild on you?" All pure (red and) gold.

I Have No Idea What's Going On...

This week has been just shy of ridiculous. Massive sleep deprivation, two people leaving just before the end of the month (ridiculous when you've got to close the books and you were short-staffed already), going into work by 6 this morning, watching images of the whole spectrum of humanity dealing with Katrina. AND...my glasses STILL haven't come in. I know they said it could take up to two weeks, but I never thought it would actually take two weeks. Plus, it's already September! Where did this year go?

I've got nothing useful to add, as I'm even more scatterbrained than usual. I haven't been able to return emails, and I've only managed to watch one of my first three movies from Netflix (Napoleon Dynamite, finally). Saturday, I will be wading through a sea of blues fans as I go to see Candye Kane at The 17th DC Blues Festival. I would just go see her perform tomorrow night at the Chevy Chase Ballroom, but I think it's probably mandatory swing dancing and my skills fall just short. And, sadly, the Running Man is not considered an acceptable substitute. I lose again.

Or maybe I win. Viva lucha!

What if the South had won?

Spike Lee presents an alternative history: Confederate States of America: The Movie. (Warning: clicking this link might induce nervous laughter.)

Hip-hop mogul "Suge" Knight in intensive care after shooting.

I'm shocked.

But, despite that, I do hope that Suge pulls through. Rap doesn't need another death under its belt or a black eye. Has it been so long since "Self Destruction" and "All In The Same Gang"?

Let The Dark Side Water Your Lawn.

In the spirit of Khaaan!, but not as funny. I do like the turntablist rendition of the music, though.

Happy Birthday, ML!

If I may make one request (I know, how selfish!): please replenish your minutes!

Thank you.

Scribblings

I'm getting new glasses. I've been putting it off forever it seems, but thanks to my nephew, I will be getting them next week some time. My eye exam is on Monday.

Speaking of said nephew, despite breaking my glasses, I will have him for the day Saturday. I have a feeling a lifetime banning from the National Zoo is on the horizon. Actually, he's a joy these days. The glasses thing, despite my initial overreaction, was an accident.

I know I've threatened this before, but a site redesign is in order. The all black is getting dull. (Yeah, it's the color, not the content. That's it.) I'm thinking of going with a theme, most likely lucha libre related. I wish I had started this sooner, I could have re-launched the site to coincide with SummerSlam, which will be in town this Sunday. Anyway, it will give me a chance to work on the skills I'm trying to build.

I missed the most recent DC Bloggers Meetup. I missed last month's also and really wanted to make this month's since I've heard good things about the new venue (Pharaoh's in Adams Morgan). Alas, with the boss on vacation, work has been a bit more busy than I anticipated. (Isn't this supposed to be my vacation, too?) Plus, that happened to be the day that I butted heads rather loudly with the assistant boss. Consequently, adding alcohol into my post-work mindset might not have had the most popular effect. Will have to try harder next month. CO, you should try to come along, too.

Games: Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves will be out in a month. Easily my most anticipated release this year. My only wish is that the difficulty level (and game length) has been increased for this installment in the visually beautiful, wonderfully written Sly Cooper series.

And kids, remember that Bell Biv Devoe had it right: never trust a big butt and a smile. As true today as when it was written.

Let's Start A Collection

...to get CO's name into a piece by Eggers.

Chocolate Philosophy
or, The Official Chocolate of Brad Goodman

So, someone brought in the miniature Dove Promises chocolates. I eat one, and the saying on the inside of the wrapper is: "Do what feels right."

I believe the good people of Dove have just given me carte blanche to run amok inside the hotel. Keep an eye on your local news, people.