++ DVX ++

Wayback Machine. Destination: New Orleans (Pt. 1)

2008-01-15T22:07:00.000-05:00

New Orleans: March 15 - 19

Took a trip with the Driz down to New Orleans for to watch the first and second rounds of the NCAA tournament, men's b-ball variety, of course. Had this trip planned months in advance and was looking forward to it. Naturally, I didn't expect to recreate the joyous experience that was the 2005 Basketball tournament in Nashville. Instead, considering it was a) New Orleans b) St. Patrick's Day weekend and c) spring break, I was expecting a perfect storm of debauchery that would test the very limits of decency and dignity. Mission accomplished?

Well, no. But it was still one helluva good time.

The Driz and I touched down in NO within an hour of each other, so we were able to cab to our hotel together. Actually...I need to backtrack just a bit.

About ten days prior to my flight, I got teh sickness. An insanely sore throat, congestion, and best of all, an increasingly painful earache. I managed to get a doc appointment for to get a prescription what will make me feel better. It was nothing too serious, obviously, but the earache concerned me, because I didn't want anything to rupture while flying. Also, while alcohol and the antibiotic I was given weren't dangerous to mix, I knew alcohol would dull the effect. By the time I was to fly down, I would have had four days worth of pills to take. We were landing on Thursday, so I decided that I'd make it through half the remaining pills alcohol-free, then introduce alcohol into my system on Saturday, because what decent person celebrates St. Patrick's Day--in New Orleans, no less--without booze, right?

You know where this is going. Of course it didn't last! Within two hours of the plane landing, I had a bigass Hurricane in my hand. Oh well.

We made our way around Bourbon Street, just getting our bearings, before deciding on a bar that had a nice setup, with a dancefloor and a couple of bars up front and a large open-air drinking area with two bars in the back. It's early, so happy hour specials are just beginning. This particular one was a 3-for-the-price-of-one setup on bottles of the cheap stuff. The Driz is going up to fetch beer, and because it's Bud Light he's bringing back, I let him have 2 of the 3. Well, many hours later, he crosses that threshhold where, as I put it to him then, the booze goes from being a bargain to being a poison.

Drizzle: I need to get out of here.
Me: Where to?
Drizzle: I'm following your lead.
Me: Okay.

So we step out onto Bourbon and we start the search for a cab. As we're walking, my hazy head hears "C'mon in guys, no cover."

Me: Let's check this out. No cover.
Drizzle: *incoherent*

That's right. I dragged my buddy into a dead-on-a-Thursday-night titty bar, where there's no cover, but a minimum beer purchase, which I quickly fulfilled. The Driz may have taken a sip or two (what, you think I'm going to drink both beers myself?) between moments of clarity where he realizes where he is and then curses my name. Me, I'm just nursing mine, watching the unenthusiastic performances. Finally, I do the right thing and use "my buddy needs to get back to the hotel room, stat" excuse to turn down a lap dance, and we leave. We get to the hotel, I call Erica, and the Driz uses the bathroom in that special way someone who has been drinking cheap beer for way too long only can.

And that's Thursday.

Friday, we got up early enough to get eat the surprisingly edible complimentary breakfast the hotel offered before walking down to the arena to catch day one of the basketball games. It was weird. Not that we saw much of the city, but all the parts we did catch, save the French Quarter, were very quiet. There wasn't really anybody on the streets. Very few cars on the road, even. And this was at all times of the day, not just the morning hours. Yet, it's not like it looked abandoned. Sure, there are still signs of the disaster, but for the most part, the areas through which we walked looked lived in.

Anyway, the walk to the arena was a nice one, made notable by the fact that we came up with a brand new nickname for Carl, one that cracked us up way more than it probably should have. Got to the arena, where we had to pick up the tickets. Moment of truth time, as we were nervous about the mere existence of the tickets. See, The Drizzle tried unsuccessfully three times (?) to have those things mailed to him well before we got there, and with no success. Eventually, he made the arrangements to have them picked up onsite. Naturally, because of the runaround given with the mailing of tickets, we were understandably nervous that they would not be available. Thankfully, the tickets were there and basketball was to be had.

The first round of the NCAA tournament is always the most fun, especially from a live perspective. A lot of that, of course, has to do with there just being more games. Beyond that, though, there is the enormous amounts of energy brough by the fans in the arena, which are mostly students and alumni and fans of the participating schools, that makes for a great live experience. This year, we didn't have a Luke Schenscher to mock, so we spread the ire around, though the eventual champion Florida Gators received more than the rest. As a matter of fact, the best moment of that day was when Florida foward Al "The Traveller" Horford, a big guy by any measure, tried to back down Jackson State's much, much bigger Stanley Turner. Most guys would have been knocked back by Horford's post move, but Horford just bounced off him. It was fantastic, especially because he attempted to back him down twice, and couldn't budge him either time. (At the time this text was composed--months ago--Al Horford was not yet an Atlanta Hawk; now that he is, I will not clown him. Kings of the pre-season, baby!)

We hightailed it before the game ended, as Florida built up a rather large lead. We walked back to the hotel for a quick change of clothes, and then it was back to Bourbon Street. Fortunately, there wasn't a repeat of the previous night's drunkenness or poor decision-making, though it was close. When we started walking back to the hotel (some time after 4am), I got the munchies, and ducked into this place that seemed like a White Castle/Checkers hybrid. We're in there, and I look at the menu, and turn to the Driz and say "This is a mistake, isn't it?" After a quick nod of the affirmative, we were outta there, finally finding a diner that served the most amazing breakfast sammiches ever. (So good, in fact, that we actually went there for dinner the next night).

(Part 2 to follow...)

Happy New Year. It's Great To Be Back.

2008-01-07T15:38:00.000-05:00

So, I basically quit blogging in 2007. It was a combination of things, and I don't need to get into it here, at least not in boring detail. But, I'm going to actually try to resume posting on a semi-regular basis in 2008. Not a resolution or anything, I just feel like doing it again.

The highlights of 2007--things I would have blogged about had I not given into the lazy--in chronological order:

Went to New Orleans with the Drizzle in March for the opening round of the NCAA tournament. It was a blast, and will actually get its own separate post, since I actually have it mostly written out.

Saw Acid Mothers Temple and Mammatus with Carl back in April at the Rock and Roll Hotel. Turned out to be a really good show. Carl, unfortunately, missed the second half of the AMT set, which was the superior part; completely mind melting.

Erica moved in with me in June, and then a string of very unfortunate events happened in short order within the first couple of weeks her moving in: her aunt passed away, she got a nice gash in her head at work that required a few stitches (thanks to the Driz for helping out that day), and then her mother injured herself. It really felt like a sign that maybe this wasn't supposed to happen. Fortunately, I leave that kind of stuff to those more superstitious than I...

In July, I asked Erica to marry me. She said yes. Guess she doesn't heed those warnings, either, much to my infinite delight.

Between the moving in together and the engagement, I had a very nice visit from my mother, my aunt, and my sister. E and I took them around town and had a great time. My family, incidentally, love E, so that's a nice bonus.

September marked the second annual road trip to Wilmington with the Drizzle. It was just as fun as last year, better even. Thank the maker for Digby O'Hollywood.

A week after Wilmington was the 10th Anniversary of Los O's, which was a fun gathering. The chocolate soda was a bad idea, but the rest was fantastic. Seriously, it was a great time, and I hope in 10 years, E and I can have something similar. Lots of love there.

October saw more family come to town to be tourists, as E's mother, cousin and his wife and sister-in-law came down for a weekend. That one was even more walky and touristy, but also good fun. I think E's family is fond of me, too, which is another nice bonus.

November and December brought trips to North Carolina to see my for Thanksgiving and Christmas, respectively/obviously. Unfortunately, because E had to work the day after both, she could not make the trip with me. Thankfully, her mother came down and spent both with her. Next year, the families will have to come to us, as I don't plan on spending the family holidays apart from E again.

In December, E and I (and Maggie and January and Los O's) went to see the One Man Star Wars at the Woolly Mammoth theater, which we enjoyed, even though I was slightly disappointed by the lack of Greedo. But, hey, minor quibble.

Oh, I also got promoted in December. That's...something.

And now we're in 2008, which is just a week old and has already seen a couple of blogworthy items, as I helped the Drizzle move into his beautiful new spot on Saturday, while I spent half of the next day in the ER, where Erica had been taken from work (again). Fortunately, no stitches or anything else of that nature were necessary. She's going to be fine, and I'm staying home with her today to make sure she's taken care of.

So...there it is. I hope everybody else had a happy and eventful 2007 and will have an even better 2008. With a little luck, I'll keep yins abreast of anything noteworthy via the wonder of Blogger.

Teaser

2007-07-06T23:39:00.000-04:00

Can you help The Drizzle find the strip club? I could.

More behind that statement and much, much, much...much more.

Coming soon.

I'm on your internetz, writing in your blogs.

2007-04-09T23:30:00.000-04:00

Just checking in. Nothing of substance. This entry is worthwhile only (and just barely) for the insanity that is this:

Pimp That Snack!

Very tired. Reading and working and listening to music and slowly creating 3-D objects and making them move. That's it. More details on each, in varying degrees, whenever I get the energy to do so.

Going down to NC later this week. Time to celebrate April birthdays at one fell swoop.

Gun Shy?

2007-03-29T01:51:00.000-04:00

As you probably know, last year's host of the White House Correspondents Association dinner was one Stephen Colbert. The performance was a bit on the scathing side. Well, wanting to steer clear of that hornet's nest, the WHCA has booked someone a little less risque. That's right, people. Get ready for the comedic stylings of Rich Little!

I admit, I've had a chuckle or two with Mr. Little in the past. (I have a "chuckle with Mr. Little" every night before I fall asleep. *badumbum*) And I'm sure the older members of the audience will be entertained by Ed Sullivan and Johnny Carson impressions. But this decision just makes Yosemite Pres look like he's a humorless pud. And we know the First family can bring the funny, right?

And there's your old news update for the night.

"Knock, knock!" "Welcome home, baby."

2007-03-22T23:40:00.000-04:00

So, let's see. I've been sick. I went to New Orleans (mit The Drizzle) for some hot, NCAA Basketball action. I've lived through another defection/promotion at work, this time of someone who doesn't suck. And I've knocked off a few books over the last couple of weeks, including one written by Major Bludd, as well as listened to a shoe box worth of music.

And I'm not going to talk about any of that here. Not tonight, anyway. Soon, though. F'real.

In the meantime, some goofy-lookin' dude with questionable dance skills finds a novel new use for the Wiimote. I'm not sure of the usefulness of this hack, but it is kinda cool.

Historical Significance

2007-03-12T21:23:00.000-04:00

It seems a five person committee has compiled canonical list of the Ten Greatest Video Games of all time. Honestly, my historical knowledge and experience is rather limited, so I cannot quibble with the list itself. I do find it a bit funny that a committee can just form and say, "this is it, these are the most important." Is that how all canonical lists get started? I always thought it was one of those "consensus among historians over a period of time" type of deals. Didn't think it was a "let's lock ourselves in a room and come up with five, no ten! titles that we think have helped make the industry what it is today" deal.

Regardless, I now want to play Super Mario Bros. 3. So they've accomplished that much.

Donuts, I Got Donuts

2007-03-09T19:48:00.000-05:00

I don't think they're that good.

Get Ready, Nerds

2007-03-07T10:00:00.000-05:00

Countdown to a video game...trailer.

Sure, it's for the first game in the revered/reviled Grand Theft Auto series made for the new generation of game consoles, but a countdown to a trailer is still silly, especially since anticipation is probably not as high for a new GTA due to the two recent prequels (Liberty City Stories and Vice City Stories). Not to mention...it's a trailer. Who the hell counts down to a trailer?

Eh, who am I kidding. I'm just as curious as the next GTA fan.

Oh, Happy Day

2007-03-01T01:27:00.001-05:00

...and to top it all off, I walked all the way home with some unfortunate scrunching and no opportunies to adjust.

***

Usually, with a day like today, I'd be using this space to wax psychotic about all the pain I'd like to inflict, in fantastic detail, on the next person who brushed me on the sidewalk. But that would mean reliving the work day, and I've already had my fill of experiencing it, not to mention writing about it, so we just go to the big finish.

On the plus side, I'll be putting off unpacking for another day. Ditto my haircut, which is actually the greater tragedy.

Weirdly, you know what was perfectly listening for my uncomfortable walk home? Ministry. In Case You Didn't Feel Like Showing Up to be specific. "So What?" to be even more specific. Ministry is a live concert I think everybody should experience. Or it used to be. Honestly, I don't know what they are like these days.

Now I'm listening to "London Bridge." I think I'm pretty close to being unwound.

And finally, an endorsement: pick up American Born Chinese by Gene Yang. It got a mention in Decibel's end of year wrap up of comics, and after a little more research, I decided to give it a go. It was worth it. I should probably re-read it to give it a proper review, since the first read through was focused less on the art and more on the narrative, which was told with subtlety (yes, even in the uncomfortably hilarious shadow of living stereotype, Cousin Chin-Kee), humor, and affection.

Hopefully, there will be more on this, other recent text adventures (including Fermat and two-thirds of Michael Marshall's Straw Men trilogy), the PA-trip, and music, though that will probably be over on Musica Generica. I might even talk about my total divalicious shopping spree. Or not.

God of War II

2007-02-27T23:59:00.000-05:00

I got a brief, playable demo this past weekend, and it is fantastic. The gameplay has not changed much, but there was not really a reason to make changes, as the gameplay was pretty much flawless in the original. This is really the last major game on this generation of systems (that I know of) and should not be missed.

More (much more?) about this past weekend soon.

Who Knew?

2007-02-24T02:42:00.001-05:00

I never thought that I'd ever threaten my girlfriend's mother with a nice "smash" on the chestal region--even in jest while talking trash during a game--but here we are.

Good times...

Shove More Bourbon Down His Mouth Hole

2007-02-21T01:52:00.000-05:00

Guh.

The last two weeks have been kinda ass, to put it politely. As if the work wasn't bad enough, now I can't checks my home email or reads any blogs, because it's all been blocked! How dare they create an environment where I'll get more work done. But, the craziness--as far as the workload goes, anyway--ends tomorrow. The return of a co-worker means he gets his work back, and hopefully signals the loss of one seriously inept temp. Plus, I'm off to PA early in the day, not coming back until Sunday. Just in time.

But, not to leave you empty-handed, regardez: go download something a leaked track from the (still) upcoming GNR album, Chinese Democracy. Go on, do it. Don't be a pussy.

Early!

2007-02-15T20:08:00.000-05:00

Yes! Home before 9. That's a start.

Model UN is in the house, so the hotel is crawling with high school kids. Damn them. Laying about like they own the place. I shakes my fist at you! And by fist I mean...

It's been an exhausting week, and I think the only possible cure is metal. Priestess, Converge, and the mighty Mastodon at the 9:30 this Saturday. Carl, I may need to borrow your Pig Destroyer t-shirt.

Bleh

2007-02-14T01:32:00.000-05:00

You know what sucks about working until nine? Getting home late and then eating dinner and then being up at 1:30 in the morning digesting, wondering why I'm not allowed to punish the wicked with impunity. Savages.

Word of advice to anyone who is going to purchase a computer over the internets. PAY ATTENTION TO THE DIMENSIONS. I got this tower and it's a feckin' beast. Feels like overkill, but I likes it.

Anyway...I'm going to see if I can get in the mood to sleep. In the meantime, kitten therapy.

This day sucked. And now there's a dog show on my TV.

2007-02-12T20:02:00.000-05:00

Well, let's see, I blitzed through a near 10 hour day without a break--and that's not an exaggeration--having to deal with a temp who is too cautious to do anything on her own, setting our work back significantly. Yet, she's too timid to even be snarky with. She's like Hooks from the Police Academy movies. Eventually, things came to a head and I had to take over and get us caught up to a manageable point. More importantly, I got caught up enough so that I could finish my own work.

This is why I'm not team-oriented. I don't have the patience to work with a bunch of Grossmans every day. If not for the people who don't suck (invariably, the people upon whom I rely the least in terms of my own work), that place would be intolerable.

And my boss is off this week! I'm supposed to be enjoying myself! Dammit.

In more positive news, had an enjoyable weekend, including dinner with The Drizzle and Los O's on Friday evening, and drinks with The Drizzle and JP on Saturday. Sunday was lazy. So, so lazy.

Lastly, some consumer advice: you so called rock fans are raging posers if you don't have this already. I've got the original version of Kingdom Come and it's boss.* Get some.

*That's for CLJO. I'm bringing it back!

Free Ozzy!

2007-02-06T22:38:00.000-05:00

See Ozzfest 2007 for free. Wow. Between this and Van Halen, big name tours are already looking good for this summer. I wonder how long the free tour will last, and if it will catch on.

There's No Such Thing As Clowns

2007-02-06T15:49:00.000-05:00

The last two weeks have been pretty swell, all told. (Little illnesses aside.) Two weeks ago, Erica came into town for a few days, which is always fun. We wound up bowling with co-workers on Friday night. I didn’t bowl this time, after I humiliated myself the last time. Erica did, and she repped the family quite well. MC and JS (my favoritest co-worker and her lady) bowled out of their minds, so my vicarious bowling needs were well met. Plus, another co-worker did a split after one of her bowling taunts. Easy highlight of the night.

The rest of that weekend was spent shopping, sleeping (boy, lots of sleep), keeping warm, and talking trash over games of Mario Party. I took that Monday off so I could spend more time with her before she had to catch the late afternoon train back home. With any luck, I won’t have to be writing phrases like “train back home” for much longer. Not that anything is imminent; just saying.

This past weekend was another road trip with the Drizzle to check out some land in Northern Alabama (aka Pennsylvania). This time, the land was in Gettysburg, and was actually a nice piece of property, even if you can’t set up a canoe business. After a thorough examination of the land—well, as thorough as you can be without leaving the car—we hit the Gettysburg Appalachian Brewing Company for a beer and a couple of hours of shooting pool and chit-chat. For the record, I lost the best of five series, 3-2, because the Drizzle is much more adept at the “let the other guy scratch on the eight ball” strategy than I. We went from there to the Gettysburg G-Man, after discovering that Hoss’s was too crowded for dinner. There we ate and drank a bit more, while working the phones trying to get local folks to join us. Sadly, there were no takers. Lazy savages. Unfortunately, our evening was cut short (due to the aforementioned illness) and we made our way back to D.C. after settling up here.

Sunday, of course, was the Super Bowl.

As gleeful as I was with the outcome, it has been tempered somewhat by something approximating pity for the Bears. Sure seemed like 52 men showed up to play that game. Unfortunately, the very key 53rd man turned into the pumpkin most people knew he was. I think Neil O’Donnell owes Turnoversaurus Rex a nice dinner, since he’s no longer the biggest goat in Super Bowl history. (You know, Troy Smith would look pretty good in a Bears uniform.)

But hey, at least they got there. There are thirty other teams who cannot say that. And many of them (including my beloved Dolphins) haven’t even sniffed the playoffs for years now. So the Bears got that going for them, which is nice.

And now, a nation turns its eyes to college basketball and the coming March Madness. Feel it! The Drizzle and I will be making the trip for the opening round games again. This year’s destination: New Orleans!

Get Out Of My Way!

2007-02-02T09:50:00.000-05:00

So, DNC is in the hizzy. Already, one candidate has lost a potential vote. (I won’t say her name, though. Ha!) Why? Because her @#$%# supporters don’t seem to understand the term “excuse me.” As in, “Excuse me, asshat. I’m trying to get to my office, and you guys do not seem to understand that clotting the hallway is not only a terrible breach of etiquette, but also a fire hazard. I don’t care who is in that room, it gives you no right to be a complete imbecile. Now, please, excuse me, before I etch my grievance into your #@$%@# forehead.”

Of course, I say that all with a smile. Hospitality, don’tcha know.

(On a side note, I am tempted to test another candidate's sense of humor by mentioning how clean and articulate he is, should I be lucky enough to meet him, as one of my co-workers already has.)

Overload

2007-01-23T01:26:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year.

2007. More books, more music, more movies, more games, more laughs, more nonsense, more steps, more booze, more reflection, more changes than you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain.

New computer to feature more power, more capacity, more speed, more applications, more opportunities, more access.

More more more more more more.

It's enough to make a body batshit insane with anticipation and possibility, to overload to the point of complete synaptic failure.

Or, to induce a cold and make you want to crawl under a blanket and sleep until the Zombie Apocalypse.

(I have the latter.)

There's so so so much to do do do. I thought the point of trying to outline it all was to make things simpler. But all it does is reveal the actual number of opportunities. Complication through simplification, or some such nonsense. It sounds good now, but that's the meds talking.

More sports, more trips, more illogical hate (I'm looking at you, Rex), more bluster, more leering, more dialogue/monologue, more perversity.

I have a compulsion to buy anything that I think might rub my brain stem in the right way. It's why I have more music, books, and games then I have time. I'd like to take a vacation to just make a substantial dent into it. But with "The Machine" finally on the way (yay!), any free time will be tied into that.

I can look at it this way: once I reach my next goal, I should have time to breatherelaxbeleisurely.

More hearing, more seeing, more living.

More love.

More acceptance, more forgiveness.

More ideas. More motivation. More satisfaction guaranteed.

2007-01-10T01:47:00.000-05:00

Avant Garde Ring Tones

Now why didn't I think of that? Fantastic.

(Happy New Year, kids. More later.)

2006-12-27T00:46:00.000-05:00

First James Brown, Now This

RIP, President Ford.

(Fortunately, Tom Brokaw was wrong.)

2006-12-18T22:08:00.000-05:00

Quote

"D'you know why I had car wash people put cocoa butter smell in there?! Because I want prostitutes to feel welcome! I don't want them to feel like it's a death trap." -C. Brutananadilewski

2006-12-12T22:28:00.000-05:00

On Football: An Early Prediction

While the Dolphins have not yet been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, the realist in me has conceded yet another year of playoff-less football for the men in aqua and orange. Therefore, I am actively pulling for what would probably be the most fun to watch Super Bowl: the San Diego Chargers vs. the New Orleans Saints. I'm convinced that the kind of football that hooks you as a kid will always influence what you consider "good" vs. "bad" football, even if those definitions don't usually fit with the consensus opinion. Naturally, as a Dolphins fan hooked by a prolific, Dan Marino-led offense, shootouts will always entertain me. Thus: Chargers/Saints. Of course, I've come to appreciate defense as well, which is why the Colts are not part of this equation.

Anyway, the storylines once again would write themselves. A Saints appearance would be the happy ending (not in any sort of realistic sense, mind you, just in the "storytelling" sense) for New Orleans, while their quarterback would be facing the team that cut him after he put up the best (before this season) stats of his career. Meanwhile, Marty "We Are All" Schottenheimer would finally get a chance to get that Super Bowl ring that would cement his status as one of the games all time best. Ladainian Tomlinson would get a chance to cap off the best rushing performance I've seen in my lifetime and possibly one of the best ever. And on the other sideline would be Reggie Bush, on a tremendous tear of late, looking to break out on the biggest stage on which he's ever performed. (That sound you hear is Deuce McAllister storming off in disgust.) Throw in some ink on Marques Colston going from almost-Mr. Irrelevant to possible Super Bowl MVP candidate and the writers can take the entire two weeks off before the Super Bowl.

Final prediction: the Saints win a high-scoring back and forth game, 38-35.

2006-11-22T12:55:00.000-05:00

Next Item Up For Bid...

Merry Xxxmas, game nerds.

2006-11-22T01:43:00.000-05:00

When I Can, I Will

Substance. It's something that this space has been lacking. It's not for a dearth of things to talk about; nor is it (entirely) due to a lack of time. The largest factor at play here is focus. I've been a bit scatterbrained as a result of sinister cocktail made from introspection, future-thinking, life changes, workload, music addiction, and video game-induced torpor (thankyouverymuch Guitar Hero 2). Oh, and chronic onanism. Always with the onanism.

As stated previously (I think), my mother and youngest sister moved down to North Carolina. Well, by the end of next week, my other sister and her family (husband and kids) will be down there as well. So the only family left in the area will be Big Lou. And while that's still great, I will certainly miss being able to see my family, especially the children, whenever I want.

Quoi d'autre...Erica and her mother came down to visit at the end of October. That was nice. Her mother really is so incredibly sweet and caring. She sends down food for me everytime Erica comes to visit, and has even started calling me! Hell, my own mother doesn't even do that. (I keed!)

Speaking of Erica, she and I just celebrated one year together. It's been a long time since I've been able to say that. Anyway...good times. And, to tie it all together, I'll be spending Thanksgiving with her and her family. This will mark the very first time this holiday has been spent with people outside of my family.

Movies: Saw Borat (with Erica and some friends) and For Your Consideration (with Los O's). Both were funny and worth your money, not that I really need to make a case for either. I think I've seen, um, three movies now this year. Four? Maybe even five. Jaysus!

Music: Too much to list, and mostly metal (including purchasing a handful of landmarks of the genre that were missing from my collection), so none of yous will probably care, anyway. I still can't speak highly enough of that Melvins album.

Books: About to start--honest!--Fermat's Enigma. Because every now and then, the math nerd in me creeps out.

Games: Guitar Hero 2 Guitar Hero 2 Guitar Hero 2 Guitar Hero 2 Guitar Hero 2. (Oh, and some Lego Star Wars 2 and a little bit of Mercenaries.)

And that's been it, more or less. I'm sure my sleepy brain is forgetting something, but I don't know what it is. So this will have to do.

Happy Thanksgiving to the lot of ya. Hope to see you all soon. Be safe.

2006-10-25T00:31:00.000-04:00

When In Doubt, Turn To Sports

Feh.

I'm not sure what's worse: the quality of the teams for which I am eternally cheering, or the fact that I can't stop myself. This has not been a good fall for sports. Sure, the A's made the playoffs again, and even got out of the first round. But then they got swept like they were the Kansas City Royals (next year's champs, by the by) and all the good feelings are gone. I can't even bring myself to root for/against/for/idon'tknowanymore Tony LaRussa.

In college football, I've got the best and worst of times. Ohio State is still #1 in the country, but the Miami Hurricanes are looking more thugged out and embarassing than ever. It was bad enough the team wasn't very good to start, now they've got yet another black eye on the reputation, such as it was. I mean, save that shit for when you turn pro, kids! At least that way, you can afford good lawyers. Just ask Ray Lewis.

On the pro side...oy. I can't even bring myself to talk about the pathetic situation that is year two of the Saban-era Dolphins. And yet--AND YET--there's a too-vocal-for-it's-own-good part of me that is thinking they can run the table after the bye week. (Shut up. Just shut up! Yes, I looked at the schedule.) Better yet, I'm picturing it with them totally adopting a gunslinger mentality with Cleo Lemon at quarterback, chucking it downfield to Chambers, Vick, and Welker. At least my insane imaginings are comical and not based in any sort of reality.

The only way I can imagine enjoying sports this fall, beyond the Buckeyes pounding the Wolverines, is if the Atlanta Hawks get off to a hot start. (SHUT UP!) I know. It's like playing Russian roulette with a loaded gun. I'm just asking for it. Well, I don't give a good god damn. Marvin and Shelden Williams to glory!

I. Suck.

On the plus side, with nothing interesting going on in sports (Cram your hockey! Cram it!), I have been able to use my what little down time I have from work to slog through the media bottleneck in my apartment. Music, books, games and movies have been go. Which reminds me: go pick up the new Melvins disc. Now. Seriously. It's called A Senile Animal and is worth the money. Don't you like to rock? Don'tcha?! Freedom hater.

2006-10-17T23:05:00.000-04:00

Holidays Are Hell

...that 're so feckin' tight, his hairy sac brushes off my elbow with the slightest bit of turbulence.

2006-10-09T20:19:00.000-04:00

Gridiron Funny
for The Drizzle

Wait for a sign from Gozer the Traveller; he will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii, the Traveller came as a large and moving Torb. Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex Supplicants, they chose a new form for him -- that of a Giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you!

2006-10-07T22:11:00.000-04:00

Leyland!
Yankees lose. Sports schadenfreude through the roof. It's nearly as satisfying as seeing Duke lose.

I'm taking Oakland in 6. Go A's! Please Hurt, Hammer 'Em! (That bit was completely stolen from Jeff Chang's blog.)

2006-10-04T20:52:00.000-04:00

The King Should Stick To Football

Finally, Sneak King takes the stealth action genre and puts it to a friendlier use than usual. Instead of tiptoeing behind enemy guards to silently snap their necks, players will sneak up on hungry people to surprise them with offerings of Burger King food. Gamers will have to sneak up on people in a logging yard, a construction site, downtown, and the suburbs, and they will be graded on their performance "based on how elaborate the delivery is executed."

***

Classic:

-Road trip to Wilmington, NC with the Drizzle. That place is awesome. And the weather was perfect. So much to say about this weekend, but I just don't have the energy.
-Nephew (the first, #61 pictured below) playing football, niece cheering him on. Regardez les photos!

-Mother and sister have successfully moved to Raleigh. It was sad, but definitely the best thing for them to do.
-Have new furniture in the apartment, so it finally feels like more than a place to just sleep between my time at work.
-Related: recliner!
-The A's are up 2-0 in the opening series of the ALDS. I'm genuinely shocked, as I expected them to be swept out. Hopefully they can keep this up.
-Turned 32. Life rocks. (Special shout out to MC for the good bday words.)

Dud

-Teh sickness. Have a doc appointment for this coming Monday. It can't get here soon enough.
-Both my fantasy and favorite football teams are in the shitter. I can't believe I bought the hype with Daunte Culpepper. Jo-ey! Jo-ey!
-Work has been f'n killer this week. And it's only Wednesday.

That is all. Details when when/if I feel like it. Hope all you people are doing a'ight.

2006-09-13T20:06:00.000-04:00

Now I'm Nimoy: NIN + Spock = Nerd Gold. (via Paper Thin Walls)

2006-09-05T19:22:00.000-04:00

Even More Pop Culture Detritus

Stop hatin! (Hilarity found via Paper Thin Walls.

2006-09-04T20:56:00.000-04:00

These Aren't The Droids You're Looking For

2006-09-04T20:51:00.000-04:00

Are You Ready To Rock?

The list of confirmed songs for Guitar Hero 2 has expanded. I suppose the inclusion of "Free Bird" was inevitable. The Lamb of God track is a nice surprise.

With this, Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy, ~~God of War 2~~*, Yakuza (out tomorrow), and Final Fantasy XII out this fall (as well as releases of game adaptations of Reservoir Dogs and Scarface), the probable release of two more next-gen consoles (Nintendo's Wii and Sony's PS3), and the latest controversial title from the Rockstar Games (Bully), it should be an interesting fall for game nerds all over the country.

*Turns out GoW2 isn't due out until Q1 2007. Nuts.

2006-09-04T10:34:00.000-04:00

UCW! UCW!

There's so much gold here. "Passion piledrivers." (Also a mixed drink: 1/3 passion fruit juice, 1/3 prune juice, 1/3 vodka.) Guys being dragged to hell. It also raises some questions. For instance, would a "Holy shit!" chant be acceptable after a major spot? If they have were to have a death match, like a Taipei Death Match or an Anus Explosion Death Match, could there really be a loser? And really, even if they have extreme matches, don't they kind of pale in comparison to some biblical events? How impressive is a powerbomb through a light tube log cabin when compared to the raising Lazarus from the dead? Sure, "Sick" Nick Mondo can take a weed whacker to the gut, but let's see him rain fire and brimstone down on a couple of cities.

2006-09-04T08:26:00.000-04:00

Crikey, Indeed

RIP, Crocodile Hunter

2006-08-31T07:50:00.000-04:00

Would You Like To Play A Game?

Possible '08 Presidential hopeful Mark Warner gets his game on. Rumors that he will also make an appearance in World of Warcraft as a gnome mage named "Warnus" are completely unsubstantiated. (via Game Politics)

2006-08-30T21:19:00.000-04:00

I Wish I Had Found Out About This Earlier

I swear, if I were a woman, this would be my wedding gown. (Found here.)

2006-08-28T17:39:00.000-04:00

'Ello guv'ner! Lube job while you wait?

The story doesn't say if wrestling is involved at any point. I like the logo and the obvious attempts at making teh sexy. I've seen this sort of thing before, though. Well, it wasn't a quick lube service, but there were women and funnels involved.

2006-08-18T13:07:00.000-04:00

Mentok!
aka, more from the Filipino judiciary.

"Floro was also understood to have claimed supernatural abilities, the ability to read the future and held 'healing sessions' in his chambers."

I've tried the "healing sessions" trick. It's a Filipino mainstay.

2006-08-17T12:06:00.000-04:00

TOUR RIDER!
(subject is best imagined being bellowed by Henry Rollins)

This summer's musical darlings, Gnarls Barkley (you might have heard their hit single, "Hey Ya! 2006"), have one helluva tour rider. What's more hilarious: requesting Magnum condoms or white athletic socks?

2006-08-16T10:55:00.000-04:00

Macaca!

Or, The politics of failure have failed. We need to make them work again.

2006-08-15T19:58:00.000-04:00

Dali!

That is some surreal chocolate.

2006-08-14T16:29:00.001-04:00

Mental Clearinghouse

I am really not very good at this blogging thing. Once I turned the corner on trying to make this space as devoid of personal bric-a-brac as possible, it has been hard to go back and write about my life, even if it is relatively drama-free. Things happen, but I don't reflect upon them enough (or they are not of enough consequence) to write anything particularly insightful about the events. The passage of time only makes it more difficult, as short-term memory seems to be permanently unreliable and my powers of recall are eroded by lack of sleep and worldly distractions.

Plus, I am powerfully lazy.

In spite of that, I still feel compelled to keep up with things here, even if I have to use bullet-points. So, without further rambling, here are some things that are happening/have happened.

-My nephew will be playing football this fall. His position has not been decided yet, but my guess is defensive back. After all, my mother says he is a bit hesitant to tackle the other kids. Obviously, he is the next Deion Sanders. (I am a bit surprised he does not like to belt kids. He is a complete rough-houser any other time.)

-My niece is going to be a cheerleader for his team. It's nice to see siblings share activities like that.

-Due to my helping a loved one with some serious scrilla, I had to put my workstation purchase on hold for a few months. I have now been re-payed, so let the comparison shopping begin anew. Who doesn't like a good Xeon vs. Opteron debate? With any luck, I will be a bit of a recluse this fall. Seriously, that will be a good thing.

-Have had some quality adventuring with The Drizzle lately. As a result, Chambersburg is now the preferred destination for Hoss's road trips. Delicious!

-Went to two Nats games last week. One with Jamy and one with my father and cousin. My cousin is visiting from England, and was completely unfamiliar with the rules of baseball. My father and I wound up giving him a crash course in the first few innings. By the end, he was on his feet and cheering with the rest of the crowd. He is officially a Nats fan. It was fun to see someone who has not been completely jaded by the sport get caught up in it. His enthusiasm was refreshing. Too bad he's aligning himself with a team that is totally butt. He might as well be a Mariners fan.

-I look good in a suit. Seriously. I found this out when I purchased "My Very First Suit" to attend the wedding of one of Erica's cousins. Almost makes me wish I had bought suits before. Almost.

That's really about it. The events about which I previously said I'd write are all too far in the past (a whole month!) for me to remember. Therefore, a swift synopsis: 4th of July was both fun and infuriating; the going away party for a co-worker was the drunkest evening I've ever had at work (sad that there are other nights in contention); and the World Cup final sucked, but I had a good buffet breakfast to offset my disappointment with the match. Oh, and my first trip to New York City was awesome, and I will certainly be going again, hopefully sooner than later.

2006-08-09T22:50:00.000-04:00

I'm sure this was funny, like, minutes ago. So what if I'm late. I'm still laughing.

2006-08-08T17:25:00.000-04:00

The Theater!

This has been amusing me all day.

"Just a man, a piano, and ten inches of thunder."

2006-08-03T10:16:00.000-04:00

Maybe It's The Heat

...but I'm really wishing we had one of these in the area.

2006-07-25T21:27:00.000-04:00

Comedy in the District

Funnier than the Capitol Steps.

2006-07-25T19:58:00.000-04:00

It Doesn't Make Sense

He's so beautiful. How could she?

2006-07-24T11:15:00.000-04:00

On Flavored Dental Dams

"They're like a combination of Fruit Roll-Ups and a Slip N Slide." -my co-worker.

2006-07-22T00:41:00.000-04:00

See Wha' Ha' Happened Was...
aka Family Matters

My aunt gets a stern talking to.

2006-07-18T22:39:00.000-04:00

Wait For It...Wait For It

Work has been, um, ass. Just the hours, not the work. It has not approached the enraging atmosphere of last fall, though the circumstances are nearly identical. It's just...worky. The kind of busy-ness that makes my pudding brain come up with words like "worky."

So, blogging is on the backburner for a while, even though I still have to recap the quickly-fading-from-my-pudding-brain-memory 4th of July, hot World Cup and buffet action with CO and The Drizzle, a pretty hard drunkening at work (tequila!), and my trip to NYC.

In the meantime, reason #217 for me to move to Tokyo: Sanrio Puroland!

2006-07-18T07:52:00.000-04:00

Oh Dear

All Your Snakes Are Belong To Us

Already, the genius of Snakes On A (Motherfuckin') Plane bears fruit.

2006-07-12T20:49:00.000-04:00

Mmmm...Delicious Efficiency

Or it laziness? Aren't we even industrious enough in our search for quality entries into our masturbatory rolodexes?

2006-07-12T15:40:00.000-04:00

Religious Humor?

Well, not exactly. But, one of my co-workers and I have been amusing ourselves by making comparisons/similes that end with "a nun's box."

For example:

"This new car is as roomy as a nun's box."
"Ben Wallace's afro is as nappy as a nun's box."
"Your toddler bites harder than a nun's box."

And etc. Yeah, we're children. No, it's not sophisticated. No, it's not always funny. But since when have I ever been known any of that high-minded stuff? Besides, my lunch and the temperature in this office has me stuffed and hotter than a nun's box. I gotta keep myself awake somehow.

2006-07-12T14:49:00.000-04:00

Yeah, but are they any good in a boxing ring?

Killer Kangaroos!

***

In other news, I'll be going to NYC on Friday for work. This is, believe it or not, my first visit. I'm going to have to plan some things to do, besides burning Williamsburg to the ground. (That was for you, CLJO.)

2006-07-06T19:58:00.000-04:00

Dude, Remember When You Got Your First 2600?

I've come across a couple of sites lately that have made it into my rotation of regular reads: Water Cooler Games and Game Politics. I read these not just because I'm a giant nerd (true), but also as a means to keeping up with the issues in an industry (for those who don't already know) into which I'm still hoping to gain access, sooner than later, with any luck. Fortunately, because our government loves to legislate just about anything, these sites have been keeping quite busy covering the outbreak of "violent video games" bills in our country. With the release of the Columbine diaries, and the prominent mention of Doom and Duke Nuke 'Em (both in the diaries and the articles reporting on them), I'm sure some of these same lawmakers will be even more vocal now.

It's fascinating to me to think how far we've come from the days of George Plimpton pimping for Intellivision to games being used as campaign tools or game simulations of trying to survive as a farmer in the third world. ("A simulation to make you think.")

***

More later on this past 4th of July weekend, which featured Erica coming down for the festivities. Fun! Chaos!

2006-06-28T11:47:00.000-04:00

I Guess It Really Ain't Easy

Pimpin', that is.

Currently, the IRS has to prove a prostitute's or pimp's income to pursue a tax law violation. But under Grassley's proposal, a pimp could get up to 10 years in prison for each prostitute for whom the pimp hasn't filed a W-2, which means a pimp caught with 10 unregistered prostitutes faces a century in prison.

Somebody better let Archbishop Don "Magic" Juan know about this.

2006-06-27T14:35:00.000-04:00

All That Was Missing Was The Bay City Rollers

The place to be this past Saturday, in case you didn't know, was at Casa de Los Os. It had all the makings of a successful party (good people, good music, a variety of alcohols including lime rickeys) and some not so much (that fat guy shotgunning whipped cream, then spitting it all over your couch when he does a meager little cough/choke thing). Fortunately, the hosts were forgiving and I was allowed to stay and be part of the post-party run to IHOP. Yes, chicken-fried steak IS exactly what I was looking for.

It was a most excellent time, as it always is when Los Os, The Drizzle, and Jamy is involved. The rest of my weekend was rather uninspiring, consisting of household upkeep, gaming, and getting addicted to a new chinese food dish. ("Salt Pepper Shrimp"!)

And now I'm back to work, where even more people are leaving (not in my department, thank god). This place is starting to feel like a sinking ship. I wonder if that's why there's been such a problem with mice recently.

2006-06-27T10:34:00.000-04:00

Just Do Your F**king Job!

It amazes me that some people will waste so much energy and time arguing their point just so they can be lazier.

I swear, some of my co-workers are the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked.

2006-06-22T22:19:00.000-04:00

I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here Today
(Not true, but that captures the exasperation.)

1. A co-worker quit on the spot today. But not before she got pissy at me due to what her paranoid mind thought was laughter at her. (In truth, it had nothing to do with her.) She was, however, nice on her way out the door.

2. The office was overrun with mosquitoes because some nimrod in our engineering department decided to leave a bucket in the ceiling to collect water. The bucket--and a chunk of the ceiling--eventually crashed to the floor.

3. I had a toner mishap, leading to a good section of my light-colored shirt turning black. But I MacGuyvered that shit out of existence. I'm a stain-removing ninja!

4. A co-worker brought me shit at the end of the day, causing me to be at work another hour. I let her know that I won't put up with that nonsense, though. She was quite defensive and tried to pass the buck. Nice.

On the plus side, I was able to get two hard shrieks of laughter from one of my co-workers today, the last one when I referred to her as my "Sapphic Overlord."

Shut up! It made me laugh: Unf!

2006-06-19T19:06:00.000-04:00

A new series coming to Adult Swim combining two of my loves: heavy metal and cartoons. It's called Death Clock Metalocalypse (or Dethklok or just Metalocalypse) and comes from the minds of Brendon Small (Home Movies) and Tommy Blacha (TV Funhouse, Late Night with Conan O'Brien).

I'll give it a shot.

2006-06-19T16:37:00.000-04:00

What happens when you're the laziest blogger in the world? Not much, because that laziness usually extends itself into other aspects of my life. But for the readers, the daily nothing of which posts on this blog consist, it's even worse. How on earth will those proud few ever get updates on my hilarious exploits, such as "What I ate for dinner last night?" and "What do I really think about the state of my life AT THIS VERY MOMENT?" It's enough to kill you a little, on the inside.

So, to help you'ns out, I'm going to put up something resembling a recollection of the week I took off before Memorial Day. It was heap good time, paleface.

Saturday--May 20th, for those without a calendar, or who did not read the above paragraph that set the time frame--I took the always reliable Amtrak up to Pennsylvania to see Erica. It was a pretty ho-hum trip, with the exception of the cruel taunts from The Drizzle, who was enjoying Mai Tais at the Tiki Bar. I got in around 10pm, which was a "mere" thirty minutes late. The timing turned out to be perfect, though, as Erica and her mother were running late. We got a quick bite to eat and then it was time to get to the house and call it an evening.

Well...that didn't take long. Already, I'm trying to rack my brain with the exact sequence of events for the next few days of my stay. It's impossible. My brain is fooked. Right...to the highlights:

Made the rounds to meet the rest of Erica's family. All of that went very well, even better than I expected. I'm always nervous before meeting the friends and family of significant others, which I suppose is a natural reaction. I'd still rather not have to deal with it, but, since I only trust alcohol to take the edge off, there was not going to be any way to calm myself. Of course, it turned out that social lubrication would have been unnecessary, anyway. As far as I can tell, they like me bunches. I rock.

Played lots of cards, with poker being the usual suspect. Fortunately (for me), we only played for money once. Otherwise, I would have been hurting.

Took Erica and her mother out for an awesome, belated birthday dinner at Alfano's at The Quail. Unlikely as it may be, if you are ever in Washington, Pennsylvania, I highly recommend this place.

Unfortunately, I was not able to make it back to Eide's for another music binge. Nor did I get to check out any of the stores that I missed during my previous visit. Oh well. This will give me something to shoot for the next time I'm up there.

On Wednesday (the 24th), Erica and I both woke up at the crack o' dawn in order to catch an Amtrak back to D.C. And miracle of miracles, it wasn't *that* late! For those unfamiliar with my past trips back to D.C. from PA, Amtrak usually delivers me--on average--six hours late. It is, needless to say, infuriating. On the return trip, it was only about thirty to forty-five minutes behind schedule.

Even though we were back to my spot by early afternoon, Wednesday was mostly shot because we only got a couple of hours of sleep the night before and the sleep on the train really didn't make up for it. Thursday evening, Erica and I, after a day full of nothing, met up with Los O's--Erica's first interaction with any of my friends--for dinner and drinks in Adams Morgan. Dinner was at Meze, which was excellent, especially since the weather was nice enough to sit outdoors. From there, we had a couple of drinks at Tom Tom, then called it a night.

Friday we did...I don't honestly remember. I know we slept in waaaay too late, which killed our day and plans to do touristy things. I'll have to check with Erica, but that whole day may have been a bust.

Saturday, Erica and I went to Bethesda so she could buy some bread from Spring Mill to take home with her. After lunch, we went out to White Flint to check out some furniture that I am considering buying. That evening, she and I went to the Black Cat to booze up with The Drizzle. Eventually, a couple of my co-workers showed up to join in the fun, including PB (who may have been mentioned previously, quite possibly under the now defunct initials of "AF"), who referred to Erica as "the competition" upon introductions. Drunk talk! Fortunately, all was good, so much so that when the following exchange took place at Yum's, there was no fallout from it:

Erica (looking at my face): Whose lipstick is that?
Me (caught off guard): Uhhh...yours?
Erica: No, it's not!
Me (confessing): Oh yeah. That's from PB. She kissed me on the cheek when I helped her with the ATM. (100% true!)

Sadly, Sunday came and Erica had to leave. It sucked, even more than usual, because that was the longest stretch of time we've spent together since we started dating. I won't get to see her again until she comes down at the end of this month.

And that was how I spent my summer vacation. No wait...

Since then, nothing much has been going on, except the birth of my nephew. It's been mostly work, with some play thrown into the mix for good measure, including an evening spent at the Crystal City Sports Pub this past Friday, which was a lot of fun.

Today has been a boss-less, semi work-less day. To laziness!

2006-06-17T02:55:00.000-04:00

Henry Rollins loves Ann Coulter.

In other news, who knew that the offspring of Sandy Duncan and William H. Macy would be so bosom-y? Color me impressed.

2006-06-12T09:24:00.000-04:00

Starting The Week Off

I just heard that a co-worker of mine was confused by A Prairie Home Companion because she thought it was going to be a romantic comedy. She also had this nugget o' funny: "If you like country music, you'll probably like this movie."

I swear, it's truly like people are throwing ducks at balloons and nothing is what it seems.

(And yes, there's actually a reasonable explanation--beyond wild stupidity--for the confusion, but it's funnier without it.)

2006-06-08T06:25:00.000-04:00

Finally, some children's programming I can get into. I mean, monkeys, monsters, and Biz Markie. Where's the downside?

2006-06-06T20:53:00.000-04:00

#3

Allow me to introduce you to my nephew, John Ellis:

(Not shown: the horns and tail. Thank you, Photoshop.)*

Seven pounds, fourteen ounces.

Newborns really aren't the cutest things, are they? That's okay, his brother and sister looked about the same, and now they're beyond adorable. Genetics!

*Obligatory "baby born on 6/6/6" joke.

2006-06-06T10:30:00.000-04:00

Number of the...Beast?

For those of you who didn't know, my sister is pregnant with her third child. Well, I just received a call that she has gone into labor. Here's hoping for a healthy mother and child.

Uncle Damian is quite happy. I'll have more details as they become available.

2006-06-05T19:10:00.000-04:00

National Day of Slayer: June 6, 2006 (6/6/6): I do hope you all will set aside some time to recognize. Might I suggest "Hell Awaits"? Or if you prefer, you can pick a track from this handy list, compiled by your friends at the All Music Guide.

2006-05-28T17:01:00.000-04:00

Alex Toth has passed away. Comics bloggers all over the world try to resist "Space Ghost" jokes.

In all honesty, I don't know enough about the man to give him much of a tribute, but considering how much I've enjoyed his cartoon work over the years, I felt something should be said.

(Coming soon: a wrap-up of this past week's vacation. Teaser quote, directed at the cab driver that took us to Union Station this afternoon: "You dick-faced bitch." Ha!)

2006-05-23T14:46:00.000-04:00

Greetings from Monongahela...

Just a brief howdy as I patiently wait for the little woman to finish packing for our return trip to D.C. tomorrow.

Vacation has been excellent so far, with the exception of having a weird and vivid dream Sunday night about going into work and then realizing when I got there that I was supposed to be starting my vacation. What's that about? Otherwise, it's been a heady mix of commerce, foodstuffs, and meeting the important people in the family. Fortunately, that last part has gone very well and I wasn't nervous one bit. Well, maybe I was a little, but not to the point where I was being completely socially inept or anything. Except for when I smacked her cousin on the ass. What was I thinking? Fortunately, he has a pretty good sense of humor.

Wait...that never happened. I'm okay then.

That's really been about it. Hope all is well with everyone.

Excelsior!
The Management

2006-05-15T23:22:00.001-04:00

Guitar Hero II First Tracks Revealed
Game Nerds The World Over Throw The Goat

Sweet! For those PS2 owners that do not have the first game yet, I must ask: what the fuck is wrong with you? Do you have something against fun? You probably hate freedom, too.

2006-05-08T12:44:00.000-04:00

Life Ain't Nothin' But Bitches And Money

Well, that and higher education.

2006-05-05T23:44:00.000-04:00

Leon: Drink Down The Irony. (But don't drink the beer.)

2006-05-02T13:42:00.000-04:00

If You Kick Me Off The Bus...
I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

This is the most compelling reason yet to be a school bus driver.

2006-04-28T00:55:00.000-04:00

More Magic From YouTube

The Osmonds - Crazy Horses. (Alternate version with better fidelity, but less dancing.)

2006-04-25T00:31:00.000-04:00

Political Discourse, Vega$-Style!

Prompted by The Drizzle's mention of Tip O'Neill in the comments below, I found this:

That is a picture of Tip O'Neill with former Texas rep Jake Pickle, obviously front and center at a Manowar concert. By the way, click the link for Big Jake (or, if you prefer, Big Pickle) to see him giving Coretta Scott King the "squeaky pickle", which is a tremendous euphemism waiting to happen.

2006-04-25T00:26:00.000-04:00

Because Lazy Blogging Is Better Than No Blogging

(Alternate title for this post: "My life is like understanding Carmen, 'cuz I gets Bizet." Groan on your own time, people!)

Home internet was out for about a week. It was restored to its full-glory this morning, about three hours after shuffling Erica (fka as "EF") on the road back home. She was able to make it down for the third of three straight weekends of family birthdays, this time for my nephew, who turns 7 on Wednesday. Here is my nephew at Easter:

(Image resizing really distorts his suit, which is a shame, because it's such a lil pimp outfit. Curse my poor/lazy photography skills!)

The kids rode with Erica and me at one point, and we totally had a "family" moment when we both yelled to the back for them to stop tormenting each other. (Though, we both busted a gut when my four year-old niece got gangsta on her brother and said, "I'm 'bout to get on ya.") Isn't she adorable?

Anyway, it was a fun time with the whole family. Erica is a natural fit with my clan, which is a good sign. Despite a pre-adulthood history of dysfunction, it is very important that my significant other and my family get along well.

Going back a little further: the previous weekend was for my mother's birthday, and the weekend before that was my youngest sister. Those that have known me for a while know that I drop out of sight during the month of April. May is better for socializing, even though there are now more birthdays: my friend AK, Big Lou (aka my dad), Erica, Erica's mom, Los O's (both of them!) and probably some others that I'm sure I'm forgetting (I do this). And there's Mother's Day! You guys are killing me. Seriously, space your damn fake holidays.

I kid, of course, because I love.

Anyway, I'm back and ready for some social re-integration. I think I'm going to make one of my rare forays into a movie theater this, um, Thursday (too lazy to confirm at the moment) to see this. Then, I'm going to check out the Isis/Dalek/Zombi show at the Black Cat this coming Sunday. I've already pitched this to a couple of people, but now I'm putting it out there for all. This is just the start. I'd like to get out to a baseball game (Cannons or some other minor league squad, preferably), hit a water-side drinking hole or two, and maybe make a day trip. Warm weather couldn't come at a better time. Not that I don't love spending time with my family, but I'd like to add a little more spontaneity/alcohol into my life.

2006-04-21T19:31:00.000-04:00

Not to blame the victim or anything, but...

Who falls for this? I mean, look at that guy's picture! I wouldn't take a free map from that guy, even if I was lost, let alone invite him into my home to play a little grabass.

(Alternate caption: "I was wondering what Ed Meese was up to...")

2006-04-21T00:07:00.000-04:00

Viva Craigslist!

I'm sure this is in someone's Del.icio.us list, but I don't have the desire to go back and look. Deal with my redundancy!

"Let me fullfill (sic) all your fantasys (sic) . . . Make this Good Friday better with me," read an ad that vowed to improve the day for $150.

It's only better if they wear Catholic school uniforms.

2006-04-19T09:41:00.000-04:00

Yes, I Know

Okay, I'm totally late with this one, but it has to be said. The oversized sunglasses? The Elton John specials? Yeah, those have to go. I'm sorry, but there are only two people in the history of mankind that have been able to pull off glasses that size successfully, and they were both staples of The Match Game. So, unless you can prove to me that you have, in fact, blown Gene Rayburn at some point in your life, you should lose this ridiculous accessory ASAP. Honestly, this is almost as repulsive as flipped up collars. CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST BE THE LEAST BIT CREATIVE FOR A CHANGE?!

Ahem.

(This is what happens when I am bombarded with a high volume of social retardation in a small period of time. On my walk to work this morning, I passed no less than seven or eight of these people. And yet, if I set them on fire where they stand, I'd be the one to go the jail. Where is the justice?)

I'd take this chance to make a pre-emptive apology, in the off chance I offended somebody I knew, but you know, fuck it. It's that f'n ridiculous.

2006-04-12T22:09:00.000-04:00

For GC

2006-04-11T13:23:00.000-04:00

Oz Rock City?

I think it's great that they use the classic, Peter Criss lineup.

2006-04-07T09:40:00.000-04:00

Get A Life

You may have noticed that not much information as it concerns my actual life has been on this blog recently. I am sad to report, that's not going to change here. And the next few weekends will not be particularly blogworthy, as it will involve me going out of town for family birthdays. The "life stuff" will be back soon.

And while we're on the subject of life, perhaps you know someone who could use a Life Gem.

The LifeGem(R) is a certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life.

I have no punchline.

2006-04-06T16:33:00.000-04:00

Sports!

The NFL released the 2006-2007 schedule this afternoon. The Dolphins will be kicking off the season against the current champions, the Pittsburgh Steelers. (Which, aside from being the team of choice for The Drizzle, also happens to be EF's favorite team. Let the crazy betting begin!) This, along with their Thanksgiving day game, is certainly a sign that the league, like many armchair prognosticators (and sad, success-starved Dolfans like myself), thinks highly of the Dolphins potential this year. I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic given the team’s recent history, even though the Dolphins have made all the right moves this offseason and appear primed to reclaim the division crown from the ~~Duke Blue Devils~~ New England Patriots. It should be one of the most fun seasons their offense has had since the Marino era, especially if Daunte Culpepper recovers completely from his knee injury. Between Culpepper, Ronnie Brown, Chris Chambers, Randy McMichael and an already improved O-Line, the defense should not have to be on the field for most of the game. You can't overstate the value of a good, rested defense when it comes to the playoffs. (And if Ricky Williams is cleared of all charges, they become that much better.)

Meanwhile, in baseball, the A's are early favorites for the AL West title (sorry, Jamy), and many people who get paid to make these kinds of predictions see them making it to the World Series this year. Again, I'm cautiously optimistic, as my hopes are always high on the A's every year, and they always wind up shooting themselves in the foot in the very last week of the season, or the opening round of the playoffs. Barry Zito's opening day pounding by the hated Yankees only added fuel to my skeptical fire, even if they did take the next two to win the series. The A's don't make it to this area until the third week of July, where they will have a three game series (Mon-Wed) in Baltimore. I think I might have to take that Wednesday off and catch the afternoon game.

Prediction for the Dolphins: division title, first round bye, AFC Championship game elimination. Hopes of Nick Saban being the next Bill Belichick will have to wait one more year. (Sadly, the AFC Championship loss will probably to the Steelers, which will make one helluva bookend to the season.) Conservative record: 11-5. (First response upon seeing the schedule: 13-3.)

Prediction for the Athletics: division title, seven game series with either Chicago or Cleveland (whoever wins the Central) for a shot at the World Series. They will, much to my chagrin, probably come up short.

2006-04-06T11:06:00.000-04:00

Schadenfreude!

2006-04-06T09:54:00.000-04:00

Archive Grid

Thousands of libraries, museums, and archives have contributed nearly a million collection descriptions to ArchiveGrid. Researchers searching ArchiveGrid can learn about the many items in each of these collections, contact archives to arrange a visit to examine materials, and order copies.

ArchiveGrid is available to both individuals and institutions free of charge through May 31st. If additional grants funds or sponsorship are obtained, ArchiveGrid will remain free of charge; otherwise subscriptions will be available for institutions and individuals alike.

(link found over at Good Shit, which is NSFW, btw.)

2006-04-05T21:14:00.000-04:00

StreetWars

"At the start of the game you will receive a manila envelope containing the following:

* A picture of your intended target(s)
* The home address of your intended target(s)
* The work address of your intended target(s)
* The name of your intended target(s)
* Contact information of your intended target(s)

Upon receipt of these items, your (or your team's) mission is to find and kill (by way of water gun, water balloon or super soaker) your target(s).

You can hunt your target down any way you see fit; you can pose as a delivery person and jack them when they open the door, disguise yourself and take them out on the street, etc.

If you are successful in your assassination attempt, the person you killed will give you their envelope and the person they were supposed to kill becomes your new target. This continues until you work yourself through all the players and retrieve the envelope with your (or your team's) picture(s) and name(s). Then you win. Cash…but first live in fear."

This sounds like it could be a load of fun, until it goes horribly, horribly awry.

2006-04-05T15:01:00.000-04:00

Town Without ~~Pity~~ Pitney

R.I.P. Gene.

2006-04-04T13:13:00.000-04:00

He Was Injured

...injured bad.

2006-04-03T20:02:00.000-04:00

Great Products and Advice celebrating God's fantastic gift of sex within Christian marriage

"Sex is a great gift from God - we stock products to enhance your sex life with your spouse! All our products and images on this site are selected on two criteria: sex in marriage is based on wholly love (so we have not selected hurtful products), and the Biblical portrait of marital sex as a reflection of God's holy love for us (so we have avoided inappropriate images wherever possible)."

2006-04-03T14:54:00.000-04:00

Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog

That's right, bitches.

2006-03-30T21:07:00.000-05:00

This works on so many levels.

The rappers will return home this weekend, as Memphis officials have declared Saturday Three 6 Mafia Day and will present the group with a key to the city.

Not hatin' or anything, but that's just ~~ludacris~~ ludicrous.

2006-03-30T15:18:00.000-05:00

For The Birds

Hatebeak: a death metal band with a parrot on lead vocals. Get some!

2006-03-29T23:53:00.000-05:00

More Baby Clothes!

Behold, ya'll...The Boba Fett Jumper! (via Jinjur)

(Photo--and jumper--by Sarah Dyer. Photo used without permission.)

2006-03-29T17:01:00.000-05:00

Lucha Libre!

Illegal Mexican Wrestlers Taking Smackdowns American Wrestlers Don't Want

This image is gold:

2006-03-29T11:19:00.000-05:00

Perhaps We Should Reconsider Our Specific Requests...*

Trainer to the Champs

*Only a handful will get that, but I don't care. Isn't that right, Drizzle?

2006-03-28T12:23:00.000-05:00

I think Mapplethorpe could have done better.

...reveals the crowning of baby Sean's head.

Sometimes, attention to details is wholly unnecessary.

2006-03-27T08:06:00.000-05:00

Hail Riverbottom!

Do real bands even rock like this any more?